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About StartingOver3

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  • Birthday 01/29/1989

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    Pick up basketball, play by play sports announcer on the radio, exercising, hanging out with friends, the occasional beer, and laughing

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  1. It's my time

    Hello peeps! wow... just wow. I am... hmm, let's see... going on 5 years without adderall. Haha wow. I just read this entire thread, and I am blown away by God's goodness. I am also over two years completely clean and sober from alcohol. I am in utter awe of Jesus' power, love, and grace. As I lie here in my bed, next to my wife of two months, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the minstry going on over this website. People's lives transforming because of connections they're making, right here! It's incredible. I love all of you so much, and want to encourage you. Give your life to Jesus. Just turn it over, and see what He does. You don't have to clean up your act one bit, just go to Him, and let Him go to work. It's like going Home. Continue to fight. Continue to motivate. Continue to love. Blessings, Tom
  2. Major life change... feeling sad

    Me getting dumped was my wake-up call to finally quit abusing adderall. It was SUPER hard to cope through this time. Make sure you invest in family and friends right now. Share what you are going through with as many close people as possible. I haven't read your entire story, so I am not sure about the rest of the picture concerning your recovery. I can assure you, family, a few tight friends, and coming to this website pulled me through the darkest hell of my life. Also, I am not sure if you are spiritual, but the most radical change for me was when I found Jesus Christ. I was an atheist for the better part of my life, and using fueled that lie even more. Once I found Jesus, my life got flipped turned upside down (Fresh Prince of Bel He is my rock, my foundation.. He holds me in His hands, and I cannot get enough of Him. The grace and love He offers are an endless spring, His love does not run dry. Not trying to preach to you or anyone right now, I am just sharing the one endless truth and hope that I FINALLY discovered. I am really not sure why He didn't just give up on me. I was a liar, addict, alcoholic, cheater, sleeze-ball before He came into my life, now everything is different. Feel free to message me if you need more information about anything I just typed, or feel free to skim right over this response. In conclusion, I am proud of you for staying clean for almost 6 months. That is a HUGE accomplishment, and you are well on your way to the most beautiful life imaginable. Stay the course, do not lose hope!!! You've got this!!!
  3. It's my time

    Hello QA World!!!!! It's me, startingover3... and I don't know why, but I felt the need to update this account... maybe to let everyone know that NO, I have not died... NO, I have not relapsed.... and NO, I am no longer single... :) :0) Get this... I am ALMOST 3 and a half years clean from Adderall... Looking back at old posts, I noticed a pattern... I thought I had life figured out... Boy was I wrong. We do that as humans almost all the time, don't we? We say "This is it. I have life down now, I don't need to work at anything! I have arrived! My life is finally perfect!" And then BOOM! Something goes haywire, and we're left with pieces of our perfect life scattered all over the floor. And we're left scratching our heads, wondering "What the hell just happened?" Get this, I do not have life figured out, not at all... BUT, I finally know what has been missing all these years: Jesus. Christ saved my life, and I am 229 days sober!!! COMPLETELY SOBER: No Booze, No Addy, No Weed, no nothing... just caffeine... which I am also contemplating on ditching. I am in the Word of God everyday, and in prayer everyday, and in meditation almost every day. I have a new job that I have been working at for 7 months, AND.... (Get this) got offered a job out of nowhere just recently, that I accepted, and will be starting this summer... I will be the director of high school ministry at my church! Are you kidding me!? I just went back and read all of my updates, and while I did make some progress in life, nothing compares to the changes that have occurred over the past 7 months, and there is one HUGE change that has been present in these recent months: Jesus Christ. My girlfriend and I do not have sex, we are both committed to living a life after Christ's own heart. We both have made Christ the number one priority in our individual lives. She has actually had a relationship with Christ for awhile... I am just so lucky and blessed that Jesus allowed my life to blend with hers. We have been dating for almost 5 months, and it has been so fulfilling. I never knew I could love someone like this, and have a healthy relationship, and it is because of Christ! Christ wiped all of my shame away, all of my guilt, and continues to teach me about unconditional love. A love so strong and pure that it is hard to put into words. I could go on for days about how Christ saved my life, and about how living for Him everyday takes you to places you never thought possible.. Message me if you want more information on my testimony in Christ... it is hard to explain, but I will do my best if you would like to know more. SO, in closing... God is good... man, is that an understatement... I love all of you, and my life over the past 40 months has been so wild... thanks for being an awesome place to vent, get all of my thoughts out there, and for being so positive! Christ can change you from the inside out, and you will have eternity in paradise to look forward to. See, we never arrive, we only grow and change to look more and more like Christ every day. And He is the God of backsliders, we all fall short and slip all the time, but He invites us to repent, and to turn our failures in this life into fertilizer for our life's successes. Man, I love God, and He loves you, more than we will ever know... Thanks for listening guys... Here's to many more sober days... 229 so far, I can't really even believe that it's real. Thank you all, and God bless!!!! Tom
  4. It's my time

    Wassup y'all? I haven't taken an adderall in 27 months... How bout them apples? Here is a new and fantastic update as well: I haven't had a drink in 42 days. I finally realized that drinking was also a problem of mine. As far as addictions go, it was my "final frontier." I took my last drink on 2/2/15, attended my first AA meeting on 2/5/15, and today I feel better than I have in years. I finally realized I had replaced all of my other substance abuse problems with booze, and now I can admit I'm an alcoholic. I have been going to one aa meeting a week for over a month, and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am now truly sober, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I have to stay vigilant though. I go to church every Sunday, I try to pray everyday, and I have replaced drinking with exercising and working harder at my career. I have stopped looking for the woman of my dreams. I am finally happy with myself, and I am exploring and enjoying that right now. The feeling of true self-respect and self-love is so new to me, that I just want to savor it for awhile. When the right lady enters my life, it will be time, because I finally love the face that looks back at me in the mirror everyday. Quitting adderall was just the beginning of my total recovery, but it was a ginormous first step. I will be in Recovery for the rest of my life, but I am ready to enjoy learning about who I really am, and growing with God. I am finally free from everything: booze, addy, weed, pills, etc. like I said, I am truly sober, and have been for 42 days. I would be naive to say that I won, the fight is far from over... I know temptations lurk around every corner, so I have to "win" every single day. One day at a time, my friends, one day at a time... I love you guys. If I ever need inspiration, this is one resource I turn to. Thanks y'all! Have a fantastic Tuesday! March madness starts this week! Woo hoo!
  5. It's my time

    I have been sober for 2 and a half years, it's awesome! Hang tight if you are on the fence!
  6. It's my time

    I'm late on this, but I have been sober for 13 months!! I missed posting about my year anniversary, and I actually view that in and of itself as profound. I don't even think about adderall anymore, and my life is soooooo much better than it was 13 months ago. I am 10x more productive than I was on Addy... Everything that I surmised as "good" while on addy was a mirage, a facade. It kept me from facing the reality of who I truly am as a person. It kept me from being the social goof ball that I truly am. It kept me from truly experiencing emotion, good and bad. All in all, as Cartman would say: "It sucked balls." I am so happy I made the decision to quit cold turkey a year ago. It was a HUGE decision at the time, but looking back now, I had it in me all along. As I finish every post (Sorry for absence recently) Addy keeps you from being YOU! It tricks you into thinking you need a drug or a substance to have any true value as a person... such a fucking lie and such a dirty trick... Life shines brilliantly in so many areas without this vile drug, give real life a chance... kick that nasty stuff... Much love to everyone on this site, both new and old. couldn't have done it w/o you.. Tom

    9 Months off of Addy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm out of the womb and into the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Strange analogy, but makes complete sense from where I'm sittin) Best 9 months of my life, can't wait to see what's in store for me and my addy free life!!!!!!!!!! QUIT ADDY, DO IT!!!!
  8. It's my time

    Hello again, I am approaching 8 months clean and free from Adderall, smoking, pills of any kind, etc. I still enjoy drinking once or twice a week, but I am by no means anywhere near dependent on alcohol. Now that I got my substance-consumption status out of the way, lol... life is super cool. I have been a wee bit down lately, because I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my ex is already engaged to her new boyfriend. I didn't let it get to me too badly, just put me in a bit of a fog for a week or so. Other than that, I am doing great. My job is really taking off, and I am meeting and exceeding goals monthly. I am starting to make some decent money, and I am starting to look at moving into my own place again. I am also looking at getting a new car, which would be fucking sweet. No new prospects as far as the dating scene goes, but I am having fun being single. I am pretty much in a hunky-dory state of mind these days: I never get to high or too low, just pretty even keel. I was never even keel when on addy among other substances, as a matter of fact I was far from it. On addy, I couldn't handle any sort of set-back, nor could I strive to accomplish anything worth while. Man how things have changed... so much has improved over these 8 months that it is almost surreal. It just goes to show that we humans are truly capable of anything if we set our minds to it... By the way, my basketball game and golf game, along with my physical fitness in general, are at all time highs. I thought I was Tiger Woods when I golfed on Addy... If who I am TODAY i.e. sober and fit, went up against who I was on addy, my sober self would kick my addy-addicted degenerate's ass! hahaha! And my jump shot on the basketball court is getting a little ridiculous... wish I would have gotten clean years ago!!!!! Get rid of your vices, life is full of real spices, that will bring to you unbelievable surprises, Tom
  9. So.....0k. This is gonna hurt.

    Just remember to stick to your guns, stay the course, and never lose faith in your ability to stay clean. Using Adderall is a choice. Not using Adderall is also a choice. You and I both know what choice is better for your mind, body, and spirit. Let the withdrawal period run its course, and remember: It's always darkest before the dawn. I know, I know, cliche as hell, but once you experience the cleansing and renewing feeling of breaking free from Adderall addiction, it becomes so real. Clarity is priceless. Life is priceless. All cliche, but all so true. You can do it F.W. Mind over matter, and never surrender. Tom
  10. a 20-something year old's journey off adderrall

    A. Maz. Ing. I love it. I don't even know you, but that is the beauty of these forums and this website: we can all connect and relate to each other on some level. I am working on my 7th month of sobriety, and I've gotta tell you, life is awesome. 4 months is a big deal, and in my opinion, you're over the big hump, which is all mental. Sure, some days have failure written all over them, but we both know that adderall isn't an option anymore. Life is meant to be experienced in all of its glory and shortcomings. I commend you on your efforts, and really enjoy your style of writing. I can tell you are in this for the long haul, and that you understand the importance of staying clean. Well done, ctgirl, well done... Tom
  11. It's my time

    What's up, y'all? It's been 6 months since my last addy... 6 months! Half a year! It has gone so fast, and I have no intentions of going back! I realize that it seems like sunshine and rainbows are flying out of my ass in every post, and that I am living in a utopia, but this is not true. What is true is that I am living a life of purpose now. Off of mind-altering, hindering substances, and away from solitude and depression. I feel everything now: elation, excitement, sadness, laughter, stress, pressure, laziness, anxiety, fear, natural highs and natural lows. It is... Awesome. This is life, and as cliche as this sounds, I only get one shot at it, and I know I am doing it right now. I love life, I love this website, and I love who I am. I love knowing WHO I am, whereas on addy, I had no fucking clue who I was. I was on auto pilot, just along for the ride. Now I am in control of my life, and I am choosing to attempt to enjoy every moment: good and bad. Because without the bad, there would be no good, and that is what makes life so damn beautiful. Love you guys, Tom
  12. It's my time

    Krax, I wanted to quit cold turkey, but I felt like I couldn't do it, so I decided to give it a try as prescribed for once. I was still a very unhappy person during those five months. Losing Megan forced me to try taking it as prescribed. After awhile, I was so fed up with the medicine, I decided it was time to be done. I didn't care if my production would slip, or if my motivation would be gone. I knew I wasn't gonna get Megan back, and I knew I had to make some serious lifestyle changes in order to find happiness again. Sebastian, I don't know where I said I took add for 5 years. I started towards the end of 09' and quit towards the end of 12'. So subtract 2 years from your assertion and we're on the same page. I do experience small moments of depression, anxiety, etc. but that is because I am human. I take those moments in stride, and move onto the next experience. I don't find it necessary to explain every little moment when I get upset on this website. I'd much rather post about the big picture: my life is one thousand percent better off add, and that is without Megan being a part of it at all. I am not on anti-depressants, nor am I on supplements. I can understand how some people would need those kind of things to move on from add. I am extremely blessed to not need them. I am lazy some days. Some days I just want to nap. Some days I am very productive. In conclusion, I am much more in touch with reality, both the good and the bad. Don't believe me if you don't want to, but I just know this: I am on this website to tell my story, to update everyone on my recovery, and to motivate others who were or are struggling with this difficult addiction. It can be beat, and I am beating it every day. Not every day is glorious, but I am happy to announce that I am living a genuine life now.
  13. It's my time

    Or I spend my time playing basketball at the gym, lifting weights, golfing, etc. To say I'm in better place physically would also be a major understatement.
  14. It's my time

    @krax Just in my downtime. I bet I average less than an hour per day, whereas before, I was putting in like between 4-8 hours a day. I can enjoy them in moderation, which I definitely do. I had an obsession with them on adderall. Now, it's more of a random, occasional stress reliever. The funny thing is, I never play on the weekends anymore. I would much rather be hanging out with my family and friends, which is much different than the way I was on Add. To say I'm in a much better place mentally would be a serious understatement.
  15. It's my time

    Hello all!!!! I am approaching a big milestone...6 MONTHS ADDERALL FREE!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I would be able to say that AND feel this good! My job is really starting to pick up, I am in the best physical shape of my life, and, most importantly, I am comfortable in my own skin! I finally love myself again, and can recognize my real, genuine personality!! Sure, there are some downer days every now and then, but, as I've said before in previous posts, that is just life! Adderall ruined all of the great little things about life that I appreciate so much now! Life is so vivid. I love interacting with people. I love laughing with people. Life is now about love, joy, creativity, and not about seclusion, depression, and disappointment. I have made more genuine memories in the last 6 months than I did during my 3 year blur on adderall!!!! Life has returned, and it is magnificent!!!! I will close this post like I do all my others: If you're thinking about quitting adderall, do it! Don't waste another minute trying to rationalize to yourself the use of that nasty "medicine." Stop looking at it through rose-tinted glasses, and accept how badly your life is becoming on that shit. Everyone is supposed to struggle sometimes, Adderall doesn't change that. But, Adderall does remove TRUE happiness from life. Just think, you could be typing something just like this in 6 months... and you will be smiling from ear to ear while doing so... Thank you, Tom