StartingOver3

Bro, Kick this addiction NOW. You have your life to look forward to: marrying someone, starting a family, making memories with family and friends, finding a nice vocation, etc. All of this will be WRECKED by Dex if you resume your prescription, I PROMISE. I have a thread on here where I share my original story and 8 years worth of updates if you want to check it out. It’s called “it’s my time.” If you filter the threads by “most views” it has like 13,000+ views. Check it out. I love you man. Make the right decision. Praying for you now.

I really don’t know how I randomly remember this thread, but I’m sure glad I do. It’s so amazing to read thru the entire thing every now and again. It’s really good to never forget the hell we all came from. This Saturday marks 5 years clean and sober from alcohol, and I am going on 8 years clean and sober from adderall. My wife and I have a 19 month old daughter, and will have our second daughter on August 22! Wow... It’s hard to put into words what this journey has truly been like... I’m almost in tears right now typing this update. I really hope my absence from this thread lately didn’t lead to someone losing hope. I have been walking with Jesus for over 5 years, and He’s incredible. I died to myself, and was reborn in Christ. Every good and perfect gift I have is from Him. I hope and pray that you (addict) can read this thread in its entirety and know that true Hope does exist, and it exists for the worst of the worst and the lowest of the low. If God can save me and do what He has done for me, there is abundant Hope for you, my friend. I am walking in the Light, the Truth, and the Truth has set me free. If you want to discuss more, or have someone to vent to, email me at tdc3333@hotmail.com I love you all so, so much. What a ride this has been. If you’re in Christ, I will see you in heaven, baby! Peace out... Tom

Hello peeps! wow... just wow. I am... hmm, let's see... going on 5 years without adderall. Haha wow. I just read this entire thread, and I am blown away by God's goodness. I am also over two years completely clean and sober from alcohol. I am in utter awe of Jesus' power, love, and grace. As I lie here in my bed, next to my wife of two months, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the minstry going on over this website. People's lives transforming because of connections they're making, right here! It's incredible. I love all of you so much, and want to encourage you. Give your life to Jesus. Just turn it over, and see what He does. You don't have to clean up your act one bit, just go to Him, and let Him go to work. It's like going Home. Continue to fight. Continue to motivate. Continue to love. Blessings, Tom

Me getting dumped was my wake-up call to finally quit abusing adderall. It was SUPER hard to cope through this time. Make sure you invest in family and friends right now. Share what you are going through with as many close people as possible. I haven't read your entire story, so I am not sure about the rest of the picture concerning your recovery. I can assure you, family, a few tight friends, and coming to this website pulled me through the darkest hell of my life. Also, I am not sure if you are spiritual, but the most radical change for me was when I found Jesus Christ. I was an atheist for the better part of my life, and using fueled that lie even more. Once I found Jesus, my life got flipped turned upside down (Fresh Prince of Bel Air...lol) He is my rock, my foundation.. He holds me in His hands, and I cannot get enough of Him. The grace and love He offers are an endless spring, His love does not run dry. Not trying to preach to you or anyone right now, I am just sharing the one endless truth and hope that I FINALLY discovered. I am really not sure why He didn't just give up on me. I was a liar, addict, alcoholic, cheater, sleeze-ball before He came into my life, now everything is different. Feel free to message me if you need more information about anything I just typed, or feel free to skim right over this response. In conclusion, I am proud of you for staying clean for almost 6 months. That is a HUGE accomplishment, and you are well on your way to the most beautiful life imaginable. Stay the course, do not lose hope!!! You've got this!!!

Hello QA World!!!!! It's me, startingover3... and I don't know why, but I felt the need to update this account... maybe to let everyone know that NO, I have not died... NO, I have not relapsed.... and NO, I am no longer single... :) :0) Get this... I am ALMOST 3 and a half years clean from Adderall... Looking back at old posts, I noticed a pattern... I thought I had life figured out... Boy was I wrong. We do that as humans almost all the time, don't we? We say "This is it. I have life down now, I don't need to work at anything! I have arrived! My life is finally perfect!" And then BOOM! Something goes haywire, and we're left with pieces of our perfect life scattered all over the floor. And we're left scratching our heads, wondering "What the hell just happened?" Get this, I do not have life figured out, not at all... BUT, I finally know what has been missing all these years: Jesus. Christ saved my life, and I am 229 days sober!!! COMPLETELY SOBER: No Booze, No Addy, No Weed, no nothing... just caffeine... which I am also contemplating on ditching. I am in the Word of God everyday, and in prayer everyday, and in meditation almost every day. I have a new job that I have been working at for 7 months, AND.... (Get this) got offered a job out of nowhere just recently, that I accepted, and will be starting this summer... I will be the director of high school ministry at my church! Are you kidding me!? I just went back and read all of my updates, and while I did make some progress in life, nothing compares to the changes that have occurred over the past 7 months, and there is one HUGE change that has been present in these recent months: Jesus Christ. My girlfriend and I do not have sex, we are both committed to living a life after Christ's own heart. We both have made Christ the number one priority in our individual lives. She has actually had a relationship with Christ for awhile... I am just so lucky and blessed that Jesus allowed my life to blend with hers. We have been dating for almost 5 months, and it has been so fulfilling. I never knew I could love someone like this, and have a healthy relationship, and it is because of Christ! Christ wiped all of my shame away, all of my guilt, and continues to teach me about unconditional love. A love so strong and pure that it is hard to put into words. I could go on for days about how Christ saved my life, and about how living for Him everyday takes you to places you never thought possible.. Message me if you want more information on my testimony in Christ... it is hard to explain, but I will do my best if you would like to know more. SO, in closing... God is good... man, is that an understatement... I love all of you, and my life over the past 40 months has been so wild... thanks for being an awesome place to vent, get all of my thoughts out there, and for being so positive! Christ can change you from the inside out, and you will have eternity in paradise to look forward to. See, we never arrive, we only grow and change to look more and more like Christ every day. And He is the God of backsliders, we all fall short and slip all the time, but He invites us to repent, and to turn our failures in this life into fertilizer for our life's successes. Man, I love God, and He loves you, more than we will ever know... Thanks for listening guys... Here's to many more sober days... 229 so far, I can't really even believe that it's real. Thank you all, and God bless!!!! Tom

Wassup y'all? I haven't taken an adderall in 27 months... How bout them apples? Here is a new and fantastic update as well: I haven't had a drink in 42 days. I finally realized that drinking was also a problem of mine. As far as addictions go, it was my "final frontier." I took my last drink on 2/2/15, attended my first AA meeting on 2/5/15, and today I feel better than I have in years. I finally realized I had replaced all of my other substance abuse problems with booze, and now I can admit I'm an alcoholic. I have been going to one aa meeting a week for over a month, and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am now truly sober, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I have to stay vigilant though. I go to church every Sunday, I try to pray everyday, and I have replaced drinking with exercising and working harder at my career. I have stopped looking for the woman of my dreams. I am finally happy with myself, and I am exploring and enjoying that right now. The feeling of true self-respect and self-love is so new to me, that I just want to savor it for awhile. When the right lady enters my life, it will be time, because I finally love the face that looks back at me in the mirror everyday. Quitting adderall was just the beginning of my total recovery, but it was a ginormous first step. I will be in Recovery for the rest of my life, but I am ready to enjoy learning about who I really am, and growing with God. I am finally free from everything: booze, addy, weed, pills, etc. like I said, I am truly sober, and have been for 42 days. I would be naive to say that I won, the fight is far from over... I know temptations lurk around every corner, so I have to "win" every single day. One day at a time, my friends, one day at a time... I love you guys. If I ever need inspiration, this is one resource I turn to. Thanks y'all! Have a fantastic Tuesday! March madness starts this week! Woo hoo!

I have been sober for 2 and a half years, it's awesome! Hang tight if you are on the fence!

I'm late on this, but I have been sober for 13 months!! I missed posting about my year anniversary, and I actually view that in and of itself as profound. I don't even think about adderall anymore, and my life is soooooo much better than it was 13 months ago. I am 10x more productive than I was on Addy... Everything that I surmised as "good" while on addy was a mirage, a facade. It kept me from facing the reality of who I truly am as a person. It kept me from being the social goof ball that I truly am. It kept me from truly experiencing emotion, good and bad. All in all, as Cartman would say: "It sucked balls." I am so happy I made the decision to quit cold turkey a year ago. It was a HUGE decision at the time, but looking back now, I had it in me all along. As I finish every post (Sorry for absence recently) Addy keeps you from being YOU! It tricks you into thinking you need a drug or a substance to have any true value as a person... such a fucking lie and such a dirty trick... Life shines brilliantly in so many areas without this vile drug, give real life a chance... kick that nasty stuff... Much love to everyone on this site, both new and old. couldn't have done it w/o you.. Tom

9 Months off of Addy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm out of the womb and into the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Strange analogy, but makes complete sense from where I'm sittin) Best 9 months of my life, can't wait to see what's in store for me and my addy free life!!!!!!!!!! QUIT ADDY, DO IT!!!!

Hello again, I am approaching 8 months clean and free from Adderall, smoking, pills of any kind, etc. I still enjoy drinking once or twice a week, but I am by no means anywhere near dependent on alcohol. Now that I got my substance-consumption status out of the way, lol... life is super cool. I have been a wee bit down lately, because I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my ex is already engaged to her new boyfriend. I didn't let it get to me too badly, just put me in a bit of a fog for a week or so. Other than that, I am doing great. My job is really taking off, and I am meeting and exceeding goals monthly. I am starting to make some decent money, and I am starting to look at moving into my own place again. I am also looking at getting a new car, which would be fucking sweet. No new prospects as far as the dating scene goes, but I am having fun being single. I am pretty much in a hunky-dory state of mind these days: I never get to high or too low, just pretty even keel. I was never even keel when on addy among other substances, as a matter of fact I was far from it. On addy, I couldn't handle any sort of set-back, nor could I strive to accomplish anything worth while. Man how things have changed... so much has improved over these 8 months that it is almost surreal. It just goes to show that we humans are truly capable of anything if we set our minds to it... By the way, my basketball game and golf game, along with my physical fitness in general, are at all time highs. I thought I was Tiger Woods when I golfed on Addy... If who I am TODAY i.e. sober and fit, went up against who I was on addy, my sober self would kick my addy-addicted degenerate's ass! hahaha! And my jump shot on the basketball court is getting a little ridiculous... wish I would have gotten clean years ago!!!!! Get rid of your vices, life is full of real spices, that will bring to you unbelievable surprises, Tom

Just remember to stick to your guns, stay the course, and never lose faith in your ability to stay clean. Using Adderall is a choice. Not using Adderall is also a choice. You and I both know what choice is better for your mind, body, and spirit. Let the withdrawal period run its course, and remember: It's always darkest before the dawn. I know, I know, cliche as hell, but once you experience the cleansing and renewing feeling of breaking free from Adderall addiction, it becomes so real. Clarity is priceless. Life is priceless. All cliche, but all so true. You can do it F.W. Mind over matter, and never surrender. Tom

A. Maz. Ing. I love it. I don't even know you, but that is the beauty of these forums and this website: we can all connect and relate to each other on some level. I am working on my 7th month of sobriety, and I've gotta tell you, life is awesome. 4 months is a big deal, and in my opinion, you're over the big hump, which is all mental. Sure, some days have failure written all over them, but we both know that adderall isn't an option anymore. Life is meant to be experienced in all of its glory and shortcomings. I commend you on your efforts, and really enjoy your style of writing. I can tell you are in this for the long haul, and that you understand the importance of staying clean. Well done, ctgirl, well done... Tom

What's up, y'all? It's been 6 months since my last addy... 6 months! Half a year! It has gone so fast, and I have no intentions of going back! I realize that it seems like sunshine and rainbows are flying out of my ass in every post, and that I am living in a utopia, but this is not true. What is true is that I am living a life of purpose now. Off of mind-altering, hindering substances, and away from solitude and depression. I feel everything now: elation, excitement, sadness, laughter, stress, pressure, laziness, anxiety, fear, natural highs and natural lows. It is... Awesome. This is life, and as cliche as this sounds, I only get one shot at it, and I know I am doing it right now. I love life, I love this website, and I love who I am. I love knowing WHO I am, whereas on addy, I had no fucking clue who I was. I was on auto pilot, just along for the ride. Now I am in control of my life, and I am choosing to attempt to enjoy every moment: good and bad. Because without the bad, there would be no good, and that is what makes life so damn beautiful. Love you guys, Tom

Krax, I wanted to quit cold turkey, but I felt like I couldn't do it, so I decided to give it a try as prescribed for once. I was still a very unhappy person during those five months. Losing Megan forced me to try taking it as prescribed. After awhile, I was so fed up with the medicine, I decided it was time to be done. I didn't care if my production would slip, or if my motivation would be gone. I knew I wasn't gonna get Megan back, and I knew I had to make some serious lifestyle changes in order to find happiness again. Sebastian, I don't know where I said I took add for 5 years. I started towards the end of 09' and quit towards the end of 12'. So subtract 2 years from your assertion and we're on the same page. I do experience small moments of depression, anxiety, etc. but that is because I am human. I take those moments in stride, and move onto the next experience. I don't find it necessary to explain every little moment when I get upset on this website. I'd much rather post about the big picture: my life is one thousand percent better off add, and that is without Megan being a part of it at all. I am not on anti-depressants, nor am I on supplements. I can understand how some people would need those kind of things to move on from add. I am extremely blessed to not need them. I am lazy some days. Some days I just want to nap. Some days I am very productive. In conclusion, I am much more in touch with reality, both the good and the bad. Don't believe me if you don't want to, but I just know this: I am on this website to tell my story, to update everyone on my recovery, and to motivate others who were or are struggling with this difficult addiction. It can be beat, and I am beating it every day. Not every day is glorious, but I am happy to announce that I am living a genuine life now.

Or I spend my time playing basketball at the gym, lifting weights, golfing, etc. To say I'm in better place physically would also be a major understatement.

@krax Just in my downtime. I bet I average less than an hour per day, whereas before, I was putting in like between 4-8 hours a day. I can enjoy them in moderation, which I definitely do. I had an obsession with them on adderall. Now, it's more of a random, occasional stress reliever. The funny thing is, I never play on the weekends anymore. I would much rather be hanging out with my family and friends, which is much different than the way I was on Add. To say I'm in a much better place mentally would be a serious understatement.

Hello all!!!! I am approaching a big milestone...6 MONTHS ADDERALL FREE!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I would be able to say that AND feel this good! My job is really starting to pick up, I am in the best physical shape of my life, and, most importantly, I am comfortable in my own skin! I finally love myself again, and can recognize my real, genuine personality!! Sure, there are some downer days every now and then, but, as I've said before in previous posts, that is just life! Adderall ruined all of the great little things about life that I appreciate so much now! Life is so vivid. I love interacting with people. I love laughing with people. Life is now about love, joy, creativity, and not about seclusion, depression, and disappointment. I have made more genuine memories in the last 6 months than I did during my 3 year blur on adderall!!!! Life has returned, and it is magnificent!!!! I will close this post like I do all my others: If you're thinking about quitting adderall, do it! Don't waste another minute trying to rationalize to yourself the use of that nasty "medicine." Stop looking at it through rose-tinted glasses, and accept how badly your life is becoming on that shit. Everyone is supposed to struggle sometimes, Adderall doesn't change that. But, Adderall does remove TRUE happiness from life. Just think, you could be typing something just like this in 6 months... and you will be smiling from ear to ear while doing so... Thank you, Tom

4 months Adderall free! I am starting to sound like a broken record, but I haven't smoked (cigs, cigars, weed, anything) In over a year, I haven't taken pills, done any drugs, done anything like that in over a year, and I haven't taken an adderall in 4 months! Life is truly a blessing, and I am loving it so much! I do tend to think about Megan every now and again, and some days are worse than others, but I have accepted my life without her, and I am doing ok!!! Everything is peachy!!!!

I'm approaching 4 months clean and sober........ my life has never been better!!!! I'm broadcasting high school basketball games for a local radio station, selling advertising for the radio, and truly enjoying life. I haven't been able to say anything like that in over 5 years, and I've gotta tell you, it feels so good that it almost brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am so far removed from that dark dungeon that had become my life on Adderall. Just a short update this time, but I feel so elated today that I had to post. As always, thank you all for your support. Let's continue to be a beacon of hope for anyone seeking inspiration to quit Adderall. Without this site, I would still be on the shit! Guaranteed!

Hello everyone! It's official: 3 months of adderall free life in the books!!! 3 months ago, I never thought I would get this far, but I have arrived! There is so much progress still to be made! Work is tough!! I sell radio advertising for a relatively decent sized market, and the ups and downs are hard to deal with. If I didn't have my nightly workouts to look forward to, I'd be lost. I'm on the fast track to the best physical health and fitness I've ever experienced in my life! I figure that no matter what happens in life, if I have my health, I am confident and comfortable in my skin, and I am proud of how I look then not too much can go horribly wrong in life. I love being completely sore the day after a hard workout, because I know that is how my muscles are telling me that I am making progress (Don't worry, I always give my upper or lower body a day or two of rest after a workout). I am typing this at work, so I am slightly rushing through this post, but I just had to get on here and share the good news! I don't smoke (and haven't for over a year!). I take ZERO medication (for recreation or prescribed), I drink one or two nights a week (Usually Friday, sometimes Saturday). I haven't been this clean and clear headed since high school 6 years ago!!! Aside from the expected work-related stress and my love life (A story for a whole different post, lol), life could not be better!!! Just typing this post has me through the roof with elation and excitement!!! To those of you thinking about quitting who are reading this: Life is far too important to speed through it on Adderall!!!!!! Sure, we all had our honeymoon phase with the drug, but it was short lived and deceitful!!! It doesn't get any better or more real than just experiencing life the way it was meant to be lived: Adderall free (also free of a lot of other vices). Everyone has bad days where they're not productive, they fail at something, they get dumped, they forget to do something, they think they're not good enough, they think they have too much work to do, etc. etc. Adderall just lies to you about all of your insecurities, and strips you of any real joy over time. You lose your sense of self. You forget about the people most important to you in your life. You lose real friends, and gain fake ones that have the same problem with adderall as you do. You forget what a sleep schedule feels like. You forget what eating regularly and healthy feels like. YOU FORGET WHAT BELLY LAUGHING EVERYDAY FEELS LIKE. You forget what genuinely smiling feels like. You forget what it feels like to looking forward to social events. You forget what meeting new people feels like...... I could go on if you'd like me to, but I'll just sum it all up real quick......... You forget what LIFE feels like. Please give quitting a chance. It will suck hardcore for a bit, but I promise you, there will be one morning when you wake up and realize "I am happy for some reason, and I don't want a pill!" Exercise! Smile! Laugh! Sleep EVERY night for 7 - 9 hours again! Go out with friends! Make new friends! Find your true passion! Figure out who you want to become! Set realistic goals for yourself! Fall in love! Tell the people close to you that you love them! Most importantly, once you quit, you can begin to love yourself again. That is what this is all about. For some of you, I am sure that adderall isn't your only problem, and that you're fighting multiple battles. Just know that I was too, and will always be. Just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, even if he or she has been clean for 50 years, I will always be addicted to adderall, but I know that there are much, much, much more important things in life than taking that stupid drug that ruined some of the best relationships I had going for me at the time. I love my new life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Nothing could make me want to go back to that way of life. Thank you all for your continued support, keep fighting the good fight. 3 months and 1 day Adderall FRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Tom

January 30th, one day after my 24th birthday!

Hello fellow adderalics! I'm approaching three months of sobriety, and life feels more real now than it ever has. Work is going so-so. I have my good weeks and my bad weeks, but I work in sales, so that's to be expected. I just started a 12 week workout program called "body for life," and I'm very excited about it. I set a goal for myself: to get into the best shape of my life by the beginning of April. I'm talking 6 pack, pecs, big arms, cardio, the whole deal. I have kept up with my basketball routine ever since I decided to quit adderall, and that has been my sanctuary. When I'm struggling a bit, it gives me something to look forward to, and it has helped me get into pretty good shape already. I am sleeping 7-8 hours a night, eating pretty healthy, and i am socializing enthusiastically a million times more than I ever did on addy. The one aspect of my life that I wish would improve is my love life. Since I'm Just getting out of a 2 and a half year relationship, I know it will take time. I've ran into my ex a couple of times, and it was almost like we were never apart. I'm not saying we were all over each other or really even touched for that matter, but the conversation we had was genuine and very enjoyable. We talked for nearly 20 minutes the last time I ran into her! I know she is seeing someone new, so I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just trying to be a part of her life as much as she'll allow me to, and ill have to admit, it's been tough. That is why I'm starting this workout routine. Not to get her back, but just to show her, or any other attractive female, that I do maintain a high level of self love and self respect, and that I care highly about my body and the way I look and feel. I've come a LONG way since 10/30/12, and I cannot tell you how instrumental this website has been in getting me here. I love you guys, and I always look forward to updating this post and reading all of your posts. Stay strong everybody. ADDY FREE FOR 2 MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS! HELL YEAH!!!

Have you ever seen a bird trying to fly into a strong headwind? That is exactly what taking adderall is like. You take that pill and you take flight. You feel amazing, the view is beautiful, and you never ever want to come down. Everyone else is taking notice, "wow. That guy is in an awesome mood. He is so productive! I can't believe he can do all these things with a smile on his face!" Then, after awhile, you realize that you're stuck in the same place you started flying. You haven't moved towards any of your real goals. Sure, you're still flying, but the view hasn't changed. The feeling isn't nearly as breathtaking as it was when you first started. You aren't sure where you're even trying to fly to anymore. So you stop. You quit taking the drug. You come down, and crash back into reality. It stinks at first because you're not flying anymore. It felt so awesome and exhilarating when you first started taking it, but after awhile, you realized that you just weren't going anywhere. And then after awhile, you realize that you never needed adderall to start flying in the first place. You notice that your real goals were in a different direction. Finally, you understand that you can take flight without Adderall, and eventually, you do, this time with the wind, and you start making progress towards what really matters to you most.

Hello Everybody! It's been awhile since my last post, and I want to assure all of you... I am doing great!! It's been 2 months since I made the greatest decision of my life! Everything good I have already posted still holds true, except even better! Adderall is so far in my past, and I could not be happier. I am finding it easier to get motivated at work, I am so much more sociable than I have been in years, and I am actually starting to interject myself into the dating game again! Life could not be sweeter, and I cannot thank this website enough for how instrumental it has been in changing my life! PLLEEEAASSEE, please understand that quitting Adderall is a great life choice. If you are on the fence, and feel like you don't know who you really are anymore, just quit! Don't make excuses to keep taking it. Take that first step, and one day at a time, keep on stepping! Before you know it, you will be like me: Two months clean and feeling like the person you were always supposed to be! Happy! Outgoing! Charismatic! Compassionate! Generous! Sociable! Athletic! Likable! Confident! All in all, the feeling of being reborn and experiencing life the way it was meant to be, both the ups and the downs. Two months clean and never looking back!!!!!

It really is unbelievable to find my true self again, and to realize how blind I was when I was completely brainwashed by adderall. Again, thanks to everyone for the support. It's been over 5 weeks since my last pill, and I can honestly say I am never going back. REALITY is returning, and it is so much more promising and beautiful than any feeling I have felt in years. I love the feeling of looking forward to social events again. I thought I'd never naturally get that feeling again, but it has returned. To anyone on the fence when it comes to quitting: do it! Make that first step, and keep on walking down the path to clarity. It is worth the struggle ten-fold. I love you guys! I'll keep everyone posted on my progress, and I will be there for anyone that needs support! Tom