Scatter brain post #2:
I'm almost 8 days adderrall free and while I feel a bit of accomplishment I'm starting to feel more and more like going back on it for a bit. I know its awful thoughts but they are hard to beat. Since I quit I've gained 8 lbs, I look and feel horrible, or maybe I just feel horrible I'm not sure. I can't seem to get my head together to go job hunting which should be a priority right now. I have no energy, no motivation and while I want to do so much I've lost my drive and competitive edge. I want the old me back, the one that got shit done and fit into nice clothes. I'm getting frustrated and wondering if I should quit after I finish my job training classes and actually get a job. I know there's no such thing as a convenient time to quit though. I know that being dependent comes with an anti social personalility, along with anxiety and joint problems, but I'm having such a hard time weighing out the outcome. I'm so tired and depressed, can't concentrate or learn anything new. Since I quit I just feel fat and useless. I'm trying to hang in there. I'm just curious to know what other people are doing to combat depression and curb hunger which has become a huge problem since I stopped taking my meds. I drink yerba mate tea to concentrate but so far not working much.
On a better note I want to thank everyone on here for sharing and thank the creator of his site. Also I know this post sounds whiney and boring as fuck but I just want to say thankyou for reading & any wisdom or fedback is appreciated because I don't have real friends anymore & my mom gave up on me as far as hope for getting out of my depression she doesn't understand it like I'm a lost cause or something.