barefootbritt

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About barefootbritt

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  1. Quarantine qualms

    29f Philadelphia, using for 9 yrs, prescribed for 7 and abusing for at least 3. Quit alcohol 9 mos ago (yay) and it was easy bc it was destroying my life. I'll never drink again. The same voice that told me I had a drinking problem has resurfaced with a new message and it's that I have to stop this. I don't want to. I used Adderall to get in shape and because of tolerance I am not only not In shape but I'm already the heaviest I've been ever so f* me for my lack of discipline. I know my metabolism is destroyed. Even when I take Adderall as prescribed, I manage to be lethargic and lay around so basically increasing dose and tolerance for nothing. I'm prescribed 25xr per day and recently my doctor added 10mg ir for late afternoon. I'm shocked at how willimg she was to increase. I'm working from home, living in my dad's basement and work is slow, so if I needed to sleep all day I could definitely do that. I don't want to gain weight. I'm scared if I quit I will gain weight and then relapse and continue gaining. When I quit alc I gained 10lbs and relapsed, and when I quit again I gained more. I don't feel confident in my will to stop. I will almost certainly quit and convince myself to start again when I feel like my tolerance has lowered. I just took an XR, I have half a script left. But I know the direction my neglected internal compass is leading me. The seed of knowing what I have to do has been planted, I hope it will continue to grow and give me strength to do this.
  2. I have been taking adderall for about 4 years, with the last 2 years increasing in dosage. I loved working at the restaurant during the holidays on adderall. I could work a double and make hundreds of dollars using just a pill! Well at said restaurant I met a guy from Germany, and a year later, here I am, living in Europe. Did you know that the US is the only place to get adderall? This was pretty shocking to me. So, as my move came nearer, I started stockpiling. Its been a month and I haven't had a pill for 15 days and the only noticeable issue is the lethargy. My moods are more elevated, although the first few days seemed a little emotional. I want to exercise but I have NO MOTIVATION. I saw people talking about taking Wellbutrin to help with the withdrawal, but I am already taking WB so I'm thinking about increasing my dose. Luckily I can get both Wellbutrin and Cymbalta here in Germany because withdrawal from THOSE would be HELL. I find it interesting that adderall does not produce the same sickening withdrawal symptoms that other psychological drugs do, such as the ones I am taking now. One time I missed those pills 2 days in a row and I was throwing up, sore, chills, shaking.... Why is it that my only symptoms with this are fatigue and lack of interest? Also, to fill this void, I have been self medicating by smoking a ton of bud, which I personally think is an okay way to quit artificial drugs. The other good news is my drinking has decreased a lot. Adderall always had me wanting a drink at the end of the night, either to wind down or to enjoy the rest of the high in a social environment. I finally feel NATURAL, but I definitely do not feel NORMAL. My boyfriend understands how intense of a drug adderall is, but he doesn't get that I'm going through a withdrawal. I just want to sleep in and he wants me to go on a walk. I understand that he is trying to help but how can I explain to him that this has to run its course? Can anyone recommend anything to help me overcome my lethargy? I dont want to gain weight, but I cannot bring myself to put on sneakers for the life of me. I am glad that I am here in Europe because it forced me to quit. There is absolutely no way I would have quit back in the states. I hope to hear from ya'll soon
  3. moved to Europe... bye bye addie

    I have been taking adderall for about 4 years, with the last 2 years increasing in dosage. I loved working at the restaurant during the holidays on adderall. I could work a double and make hundreds of dollars using just a pill! Well at said restaurant I met a guy from Germany, and a year later, here I am, living in Europe. Did you know that the US is the only place to get adderall? This was pretty shocking to me. So, as my move came nearer, I started stockpiling. Its been a month and I haven't had a pill for 15 days and the only noticeable issue is the lethargy. My moods are more elevated, although the first few days seemed a little emotional. I want to exercise but I have NO MOTIVATION. I saw people talking about taking Wellbutrin to help with the withdrawal, but I am already taking WB so I'm thinking about increasing my dose. Luckily I can get both Wellbutrin and Cymbalta here in Germany because withdrawal from THOSE would be HELL. I find it interesting that adderall does not produce the same sickening withdrawal symptoms that other psychological drugs do, such as the ones I am taking now. One time I missed those pills 2 days in a row and I was throwing up, sore, chills, shaking.... Why is it that my only symptoms with this are fatigue and lack of interest? Also, to fill this void, I have been self medicating by smoking a ton of bud, which I personally think is an okay way to quit artificial drugs. The other good news is my drinking has decreased a lot. Adderall always had me wanting a drink at the end of the night, either to wind down or to enjoy the rest of the high in a social environment. I finally feel NATURAL, but I definitely do not feel NORMAL. My boyfriend understands how intense of a drug adderall is, but he doesn't get that I'm going through a withdrawal. I just want to sleep in and he wants me to go on a walk. I understand that he is trying to help but how can I explain to him that this has to run its course? Can anyone recommend anything to help me overcome my lethargy? I dont want to gain weight, but I cannot bring myself to put on sneakers for the life of me. I am glad that I am here in Europe because it forced me to quit. There is absolutely no way I would have quit back in the states. I hope to hear from ya'll soon