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Found 2 results

  1. Close to Relapsing

    My workload at school (Masters in illustration) is really overwhelming and I haven't put in nearly the same amount of effort or attention to detail as I used to into my work. My teachers are starting to echo their counterparts from my high school and early college days, "you have so much potential, if you only applied yourself" which is frankly kind of humiliating to hear at the age of 25. I've been off of adderall for about six months now and I can't say I feel all that great; I'm definitely over some humps and am happy to not be a nervous, twitchy mess, but I still feel manic and depressed a lot (perhaps to a lesser degree, though) in a really flimsy way, like emotionally I'm just a cardboard cutout. I haven't really been proud of any of the work I've done since I quit with the exception of one piece that I did over school break because I could take my meandering, easily distracted time with it (I actually thought about making an uplifting inspirational topic on this forum citing my painting as an example of successfully overcoming addiction), but otherwise I just get fatigued and unable to take any piece to a satisfying end. Socially I'm doing okay, I definitely don't act like a crankpuss or a cokehead as much as I used to, but I still get mopey and socially anxious from time to time. If on Adderall my life was mostly Black punctuated by flashes of White, right now it's just a consistent muddy grey. Frankly I'm unhappy and unmotivated, even in the face of success, and I kind of just want to get back into my adderall addiction so I don't have to be present for everything
  2. Man I can't believe how much better my life is just 2 weeks out. THE SECRET: What you fill the void with!!! And accepting that what you believed before (I can't do it without adderall) was a LIE! This website has made it possible. I believed that I could not do my art, begin a drawing, spend the time I needed to, without adderall, but I was only getting to my work once a month if that, and was doing all nighters (at 21 that might have worked, but at 35 NO!) that destroyed me for days AND made me enter a cycle of ramping up dosage without instruction from my MD to keep my edge at the "real job." Since quitting I have drawn 5 portraits and started 4 new projects. My ability to connect with people is 200% improved. My happiness is through the roof. A huge "filler" for me has been marathon training, which I was already about halfway through - I was not seeing the physical benefits I think because my balance of life was completely off! Now, getting more rest, eating well but not overeating, I am seeing the benefits - muscle, trimming down, and feeling AWESOME. I mean it. AWESOME. I would highly recommend the "Couch to 5K" program for anyone considering running. Ever since I did it 2 years ago I have fallen in love with running. For the ADHD person, running is perfect and you really work things out while getting out of the cage and into the beautiful world around us. I have deeply enjoyed the articles and continue to learn so much. I could really go on forever. ALSO - Evernote. GREAT service for us organization-challenged people! THANK YOU TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE AN ARTICLE SUGGESTING "THE ARTIST'S WAY!!!!!" My creativity is TOTALLY un-blocked and going crazy. I know this post seems manic. I'm not bipolar. But I feel like someone who has just ended a 7 year relationship with someone who beat him/her every day. Thank you Quitting Adderall!!! You guys are fantastic!!!!! You can see my art here if you are interested, and I have attached a drawing I did post-adderall of Joshua Chamberlain, the great Civil War Hero: