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Free_Spirit posted a topic in Tell your storyHi people. I'm not sure I have the energy right now to tell all my story here, as what I really wanted was to ask something, but i guess it makes sense to give some background: I'm a female on my 30s, a psychologist that more than once received a diagnosis of ADD, but no longer understands it under the same light that psychiatry does. My difficulty with staying foccussed on boring tasks or shifting my attention to something else when I'm doing what I love is part of who I am, and the improvements or changes I wish to work on myself should be achieved through exactly that: through work, on my own merit. For that, I chose to work on my soul making changes for good, rather than popping pills hoping for a magic cure of my hindrances. I will try to keep this short: I have been taking 70mg of Vyvanse as prescribed by the doctor - who I easily convinced I needed such high dose - for 3 years. Many times I abused it, taking double doses and crashing terribly the next day. Like most of us, I have reached a point that even taking only 30mg per day (the minimum dose) is making me a robotic, emotionless, never-pleased girl who is highly functioning for all the pointless things, whilst leaving the important projects in my life for later. I'm no longer proud of my beautiful, sparkling clean house whilst my book remains in the drawer waiting to be written. I'm disgusted with myself that I relied on that pill to do anything, and could barely reply a friend's text if I wasn't on it. I first tried quitting in January, when I told the psychiatrist I was addicted to it and didnt want Vyvanse to be available to me when I was ordering other meds at the chemist, and he said he would promptly remove it. 3 weeks in and I had to order inhalers at my GP, and I saw vyvanse still there, and I just ordered again. Now 6 months later I'm only on day 3, having binned my full months supply so at least I know I will go the full month without, and Monday I have an appointment in which I will have to lie and say I am feeling suicidal and plan to overdose on Vyvanse if they still make it available for me. I know it's very radical, but it's the only way doctors will listen. For now, I am couch-ridden on day 3 and despite being ok mentally due to all meditation I practice and books I read, my body hurts. Really hurts. And this is what I wanted to know from other people's experiences. I've been trying to learn what the heck is this I'm feeling, but had no success. So here goes: I feel extreme sensitivity around my skin, especially around feet and legs, sometimes around my arms and hands too. Even the sensation of clothing and the couch on my skin is driving me mad. Alongside this sensitivy in the skin, I feel some sort of painful discomfort inside, like on my muscles, or tissues, I dont know, it's so hard to explain, I've felt this before, but since I quit vyvanse it's so uncomfortable and at times painful that I can barely touch my feet in the floor as it sends shivers through my legs and feels very unpleasant. By the way, yes, I'm quitting cold Turkey, as I was already in a low dose and I was so disgusted and ashamed of being dependant on that crap. If anyone could help me figure out what this could be, or share if you have experienced the same it would be really helpful. I have been reading a lot of stuff online, and despite identifying a bit with neuropathy, I don't think it's the case here. Rather than that, I am looking forward to come out the other end in a couple of weeks because right now I'm so useless that even my cats are disappointed on me... at least I'm getting my sense of humour and personality back.
Freedom's Wings posted a topic in Tell your storyGREETINGS EVERYONE, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY... I'VE CREATED THIS TOPIC TO HELP US ALL IN FINDING SOME DIRECTION IN RECLAIMING OUR LIVES. SOooo....WITH THAT SAID.... "THE iPLEDGE CHALLENGE" is a feat I've been thinking through for a while now. Itâ€™s designed to assist each of us recovering addicts at any stage we may be in to slowly but steadily move unto our proper and rightful paths in life. The goal here is just as simple as the 30 and 60 day challenges aim, to bring a bit of mindfulness and deliberateness into our day-to- day lives as we reconfigure the answer to those nagging, "who am I" and "what's my true calling" post-adderall questions. While on Adderall our brains went on auto-pilot, coming into who we are truly meant to be now will take a bit of daily reconditioning. Thus, here are the iPledge guidelines: For simplicity, Iâ€™ve broken the rules into three sections: 1.) First, ask yourself these 3 important questions and answer it on this forum: a. What three words best describe my pre adderall persona? b. What three words best describe my persona post-adderall? c. What three words would you like to describe your current persona? For example I will use my own stats: a. PRE-ADDY: Funny, loving, smart b. POST ADDY: Anxious, boring (at times), driven c. IDEAL PERSONA: Accomplished, loving, happy 2.) Ask yourself what you can do starting right now to begin guiding yourself towards the long term goals expressed in question c. on number 1 (THE IDEAL PERSONA) and list them on this forum. Again I will use my own life as an example: a. To feel more joyous I will begin reading positive books, affirmations, quotes daily and try to memorize at least one I can use day-to-day as a mantra. b. To feel accomplished I will begin taking steps to enroll in school to finish my business degree. c. To feel happier I will practice taking out time for myself daily even if it is just a few minutes to meditate and realign my chakras. **3.) Ok, 1 and 2 were the hard parts. But if youâ€™ve gotten them out the way and have made it this far then number 3 is the Action/mindfulness and most important part of the challenge. Just as with the 30 and 60 day challenge logging in/posting consistently is most helpful in this feat; still posting a few times weekly or at the end of the week to confirm or note otherwise will also serve this purpose. To complete task #3 participants must take into account their goals from question # 2 and write AT LEAST three things they will actively do throughout the week as a short term goal of the longer task. Number 1 and 2 are just pre-requisites and are only done once unless you decide to change your aims; NUMBER 3 IS THE CULMINATION OF THE ENTIRE CHALLENGE, THUS IT MUST BE DONE WITH CONSISTENCY TO BE MOST EFFECTIVE. WEEKLY OR WEEKENDS, WHICH EVER IS MOST CONVENIENT FOR YOUR LIFESTYLE, LOG IN AND POST WHAT YOUR GOAL FOR THE UPCOMING WEEK WILL BE. MAKE SURE TO DATE IT, FOR EXAMPLE 12/17/13-12/23/13, AND AT THE END OF THE WEEK RE-POST IF YOU HAVE MET YOUR AIM FOR THAT WEEK AND/OR NOTE ANY STRUGGLES YOU MAY HAVE HAD DURING THIS TIME. THIS CHALLENGE IS DESIGNED TO BRING US CLOSER AS A COMMUNITY, TO OUR TRUE SELVES, AND ULTIMATELY TO THE WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE OUR DAILY LIVES. ALL ARE WELCOME, SOoo WONâ€™T YOU JOIN ME?? As an example for number 3, once again I will use my own life as art: Itâ€™s really simple and this is the only part that is continuously done. EX: Pledges I will accomplish during the week of 12/15 â€“ 12/ 21 are; 575]1. I will Exercise 3 times for at least 20 minutes each. 575]2. I will send out 3 Resumes. 575]3. I will read 1 chapter of a new novel Iâ€™m reading. Now, at the end of the week I will re-post as to whether Iâ€™ve completed these three tasks. Do this step over and over and over weekly and thatâ€™s all. I love my little Quitting Addy family. Together Lets make this challenge a success as we support one another and make our dreams come true! Be Well!