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Nicky_B posted a topic in General Discussioni've been married for 20 years and roughly 4 years ago my wife decided we should try to treat our attention deficit disorder with stimulants. I originally thought to myself that this was a potentially dangerous experiment but she insisted and because I was weak I went along with the plan. At that point in life we had been married for 16 years and had four children as well as a fairly normal life but we weren't the most productive people due to our deficits in attention. About year after beginning stimulants I started noticing our fighting getting worse and I do remember one very vtrip to Minneapolis in which her anger went off the charts beyond anything that I've seen her doing in the past. We had 6 years earlier gone through a deadly cancer and all sorts of horrific events that went into the treatments but stimulants in the end were more terrifying and more destructive to our marriage and our family in the end It felt like I was losing the person that I married and the slow loss of her humanity on a daily basis. We went into a counselor to address her psychosis/dissosocoation events who then explained the disassociation that she was having and how the stimulants along with stress were the source. He warned us that if things don'y chane that it would get worse (it it got far worse). She completely blew off this explanation and would not talk about it and instead attacked the man's character who we have known for many years. She also refused to get off stimulants due to the boost that it gave her in college. Her violence got to a point where I really felt like I was going to you lose my professional and personal life since she was so out of control. The final straw came when she was physically violent with my 15-year-old son and I had to call Cps and police. Again this was not the actions of the woman I married but of this person that had lost their humanity and their grip on reality due to the use of stimulants. Many times she would do things like hide my clothes or destroy my things and she would lose all of her memory of what happened or where she put things so I went through multiple shoes and sets of clothing over several months. Her anger and her distractive behavior that were fueled by her delusions got to a point where I had to literally sleep on my keys/wallet and a locked suitcase in my van that was cabled downup with clothing to go to work in the morning. Even when I was sleeping in the basement on the couch she would come down at 3 or 4 am in the morning ranting and raving (sometimes physically throwing heavy objects st me) over some imaginary thing that never happened. She would become so worked up by these scenarios in her mind and would become instantly violent to a point where there was no way I could resolve the arguments and had to leave the house to escape her. My poor children watched this situation devolve and I can't tell you how destroyed I am as a human being to see the impact of stimulants on our lives. I have voluntarily chose to not take Adderall any longer and I am been clean for three weeks. Thankfully my use of adderal was only 20 mg a day but even at that low of an amount Adderall change the way that I perceive the world and reacted to others especially in the area of anger and frustration. I felt that I had no choice but to move out and file for divorce and she has been her usual destructive self and I have not seen my children for over a year now due to made up charges against me. I still believe that she is addicted to stimulants that she uses to treat her ADHD and that her psychosis is still very active. She tells my children she thinks I'm going to kill her (I have no criminal background at all nor have I physically abused her) and makes up all sorts of imaginary things that I've done in the past or I will do to her in the future. When we did go into one counseling session briefly she ened up screaming and yelling at me in the waiting room (because I would not walkout side with her without witnesses around)! with patients present so loudly that the manager of the office almost called the police on her. She then blocked my van with her van in the parking lot so I could not leave and had to take an Uber to escape.. Once a person goes into this type of psychosis from stimulants you cannot predict what they're going to do and I was very scared that she was going to self harm herself and then accuse me of hurting her so after I left the home I would not allow myself to be with her without witnesses. There has been so many crazy situations that she's caused and so much damage that even if she wants to get clean I don't think it would be possible to put the marriage together again in the future. I just want to provide a voice of warning of even when stimulants are legally prescribed by a physician they can take a person, their spouse and children down a road that is a nightmare. I guess one of the blessings in disguise is that there is no way I'm going back on Adderall because I clearly see the damage that is it caused and I would rather destroy all parts of my life in order to accomplish the mission of getting off that drug and other stimulants rather than contribute futher into our cycle off misery. I feel fortunate that I was never really addicted but used the adderal as a crutch at times in order to gain more productivity for my own selfish career desires. For those of you that are considering or not to quit Adderall or other stimulants please do take my story as a warning of what can happen in the future. I would not wish this much pain, anguish and heartache on any other human being. Please keep me and my family in your prayers and do not give up on yourself. Best Regards, Nicky