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don't know if the was already posted, but this episode is epic. sleep scientist Matthew Walker talks about how critical sleep is, and how dangerous it is to not have it. the TLDR? if you're getting less than 7 hours of sleep a night, you're doing some pretty serious damage. 7 hours?! back when i was on adderall i would be awake for 5 days at a time. im totally mortified at how much damage i was probably doing to myself. not that i was completely unaware, but this really puts everything in context from a physiological standpoint. fuck adderall.
Hi everyone, It has been nearly 3 years since my original post on here, declaring my plan to quit dexamphetamine after being on them for 13 years. I imagined myself being on here a lot through the journey, but it turned out I preferred to leave the whole thing behind and move on entirely. Now I am ready to share my story in the hope it can help others. I stuck to my plan and weaned down my dose over a period of about 6 months (from 6-7 pills per day down to 2 per day) then quit completely. (I was prescribed 10 per day and for some earlier years was taking this much, yikes!) To actually quit, I took a month of annual leave and started with a weekend meditation retreat, highly recommend this if it is at all possible. Great way to start to enjoy the feeling of slowing everything down and being in the moment. I thought in this first month I would want to sleep all the time and get really depressed, but I didnt. I meditated and exercised everyday to get some healthy habits going, and realised natural endorphins are amazing! Oh and I also quit a daily weed smoking habit at the same time. My partner at the time was very supportive cheering me on, which helped a lot. It was like I was getting to know my true self for the first time, which was actually a beautiful experience (and still is!). Going back to full time work was not as hard as I had imagined it would be (I work as a dietitian). Nobody seemed to notice. It hasn’t however been without some immense challenges which I am still dealing with, and Im sure would be different for everyone. One thing to bear in mind is that I was put on dexies as a treatment for bulimia at age 22. I was told I may have also had ADD but I don’t think so. So my biggest challenges since quitting have been anxiety and insomnia. I had been self-medicating with weed for many many years and stopped that cold turkey. I had also been taking sleeping pills, mostly over the counter but also prescribed, for many years while on the dexies. So I really messed with my sleep wake cycles. Looking back, it is unbelievable how much I was able to function with no sleep and no dexies! So many days I just managed to get through the day somehow, it was almost like I was a robot superhuman I would have 1 coffee in the morning, that was it. Now it has been 2 1/2 years and I haven’t looked back. I have moments where I am filled with joy everyday and just so grateful to be able to function without drugs. The only things I take now are melatonin and L-tryptophan, which both help with sleep. Although I don’t think it is bad if you do need other meds to get you through this process, whatever it takes it will be worth it! I still struggle with sleep and anxiety but it is overall improving. I wake up every 1 - 2 hours, but now I am often getting back to sleep more easily. I see a craniosacral therapist every 3 weeks who is amazing and helping to repair my nervous system. The other thing I have to admit is that I completely stopped socialising for about a year. This was necessary for me, I had to simplify my life as much as possible, and working full time took most of my energy! On weekends I would actually enjoy meditating and doing housework and cooking and just being in a relaxed state, and of course Netflix helps enormously I still get anxious if I make plans so my close friends know I am better with deciding to catch up on the day. I then also had a relationship break up - I left my partner as I had become such a different human. Once I had a clear head off all the drugs, I slowly realised I couldn’t picture a future together (I was also paying for everything for our whole relationship of 4 years and it became clear this was never going to change). So for the past year I have been living alone and actually loving my independence. Not having any social responsibilities attached to a partner has been a relief for me too. This is still something I need to work on, as I don’t really have much desire to socialise, especially not at night, as I am quite tired by then and I like going to bed early! But I have reconnected with a few very close friends and left the masses behind. I also really enjoy time with my family now, which I didn’t before because I was always hiding something! So I know this is a long post, I would just like to mention the tools that have helped me throughout this process. 1. Donna Eden 5 minute energy medicine routine - I do this every morning - it makes you feel so good. Sometimes I do it after lunch at work as well. I have read her books and did one online course but you can just follow along with the 5 min routine on you tube til you learn it. 2. Yoga most days at home - I love Yoga with Adriene on youtube, she is great! 3. Daily exercise - so important to get the endorphins flowing and feel empowered and energised - I love walking and listening to a good podcast (highly recommend WTF with Marc Maron) 4. Qi Gong - I did this almost daily for the first year - on youtube Lee Holden morning and evening qi gong sessions are great. Still go back to this when I feel anxious or stuck in my head, its like hitting a reset button. 5. Meditation - I use the Insight Timer meditation app - it is amazing so many great guided meditations on there. 6. Listening to self-help podcasts - I love Tara Brach and listened to her podcasts a lot while going for walks in the first year. Her meditations are great too and all are available on her website for free www.tarabrach.com 7. EFT tapping - when I get into a bad patch - I use tapping as it seems to shift my energy quite quickly. Heaps of tapping videos on youtube - I really like Brad Yates. 8. Healthy eating - I did find my appetite increased off the meds (but not as much as I expected). Regular healthy snacks and proper balanced meals - loads of veg/salad, 1/4 plate carbs 1/4 protein with lunch and dinner to help feel full. I have put on about 2-3 kg since I quit, and am working on adopting a healthy body image and accepting this. 9. Ecstatic dance - I started this about 1.5 years in when I was yearning to connect with people but not feeling up for socialising. You go to a class and you dance your heart out and connect with all these people without having to have a conversation, suits me perfectly! Helped a lot when I started feeling very lonely and isolated. 10. Finally I have recently discovered epsom salt baths are a really nice way to relax if you are anxious, and a lovely way to unwind after work, or just to pass the time and nurture yourself So you can see I have really devoted my whole life to my healing for the past few years, it isnt easy but I truly love doing all those things. And it was necessary to use every tool possible after being on the meds for so long. I really hope this brings hope to anyone still contemplating quitting or those going through the process, if I can do it after 13 years on meds, anyone can! I honestly cant express how much better life is off the meds. You can truly connect with yourself and others on a much deeper level, it is beautiful. And I am accepting this is a slow process, I still have a long way to go but I will eventually find my way back to living a more social life again. If you made it this far, thanks for listening All the best to you all, Vanessa
I've made the decision to get off adderall. A little background been on drug for past 12 years past three months use escalated to 80 - 100mg total daily of xr and immediate release. I've stopped using the immediate release and have begun slow taper of xr. But I am already so tired and still have drug in my system. I have found a lot of good info on this site and trying to keep positive attitude. Any advice on how to end my addiction to this drug would be appreciated.
There seems to be a lot of discussion around here lately about sleep. I have wanted to start a thread for some time about what has helped me to sleep better in the later stages of my recovery. I do not take sleep aids, but in the past I have used 5-HTP, benadryl, and ativan, but I have not taken anything regularly since quitting adderall. I really do not like taking pills to sleep. For the last several months, I have had really good sleep so I would like to share some of my observations with you. Things that interfere with my sleep: * drinking alcohol after dinner * full moons * multi-vitamins with iron and minerals. I took GNC brand multi's and I confirmed that it affected my sleep for two nights after taking only only one pill. It gave my muscle pain in my back in the middle of the night. * too much calcium, especially late in the day, gave me night sweats * having unresolved life issues on my mind * eating dinner too late * eating snacks containing flour, sugar, or drinking milk within an hour of bedtime. * consuming caffeine in the evening (duh) * keeping the house too warm, or too much bedding * nightlights * my dog's snoring or flatulance * windstorms Things that help me sleep better: * eating dinner at a consistent time each day * going to bed at a consistent time, even if it means forcing myself to stay up until at least 11 PM * knowing my body requires 7-7.5 hours of sleep daily. * getting out of bed when I wake up, even if it is too early * a snack before bed time * not drinking too much water later in the evening * smoking weed, but not too much and not daily How has your recovery affected your sleep patterns? What interferes with your sleep? What have you found to help you sleep better?