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Hi all, I am almost one month clean and I have a few questions. First of all, I definitely had good days and bad days, and I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice about diet and foods to avoid that may make attention issues and withdrawal worse. I try and eat plenty of fruit and veggies, but yesterday I sort of splurged and got pizza with my fiance. I ate so much yesterday and today, and I feel SO scatterbrained and inattentive. I tried to do some work earlier, and I got overwhelmed with the smallest things. Also, I feel very silly, and I know my fiance thinks it's funny, but I'm honestly a little uncomfortable that I can't seem to turn it off. I want to be professional and to be taken seriously, but right now I just feel ridiculous. The second question I have regards relationships. My fiance has been really supportive of me getting clean. I have struggled with this for 5 years and I was on it for our entire relationship. I know in the long run, I will be a better partner for him, but my recovery takes up so much energy that I'm afraid he doesn't fully understand. I feel like I'm talking about it constantly because sometimes ADHD meds are all I can think about. Also, I keep forgetting little things and he gets annoyed and impatient. This usually triggers a plethora of negative thoughts that makes me think I can't function without my meds, and why am I even trying. I know this is just my addiction talking, so I try and observe these thoughts and redirect my thinking to be patient and forgiving with myself. I am healing and it takes time. I just wish I could get my fiance to understand that it will take some time before I am as productive as I was before and that's ok. I may make little mistakes. I may forget little things. I don't want him to think I am just making excuses for having trouble accomplishing small tasks. Any advice?
Hey guys, Hope all is well and everyone is having a great weekend so far. I have to admit something to all of you because I want to keep it 100% and I want to be as honest as possible. This morning I went to the wellness doctor/appointment my boyfriend got me for my birthday, which I asked for and wanted. It went well but I have to say, I have gained 20-very-unwanted-and-noticeable-lbs in the last 4 months and I am not happy about it and it's been driving me crazy (because I have been working out and eating kinda healthy). I guess not hard enough. I think it was the combo of quitting Adderall and being just on Zoloft and Birthcontrol, 2 medications known to make women gain weight -- me esp. The Zoloft made me crave crazy foods that I have never eaten and I wasn't even raised eating like white crabs and cookies and I would eat a full-balanced meal and still be hungry right after and it was very unnormal for me. But what is normal these days? And I don't want to make any excuses. They put me on some crazy ass 800cals a day diet. Um what? And gave me a B12 shot in my ass. They also gave me a daily multi-vitiums, stronger B12 pills (because I can't come in for the shots the next 2 weeks; my boss is going out of town and I have to do all her events including mine) and an appetite suppressant called Phentermine. Phentermine is a "â€¦short-term (you can only take it a few weeks) adjunct in a regimen of weight reduction based on exercise, behavioral modification and caloric restrictionâ€¦" and is a stimulateâ€¦ I believe a Stage 4 and Adderall is a Stage 2. Way milder than Adderall but if I take it does this mean I relapse? And all that I have worked so hard for, will it all be gone and for nothing? I have a 2 week supply, they just gave me it at the appointment with all the other supplements and I told them my history with Adderall. They said it's fine. Part of me feels guilty as hell and I don't want to let you guys down or myself but another part of me just wants to take it for 2 weeks to get a jump start on my weightloss and help speed up my metabolism again. I don't know what to do. If I knew the "appetite suppressant" was going to be a stimulate, I probably wouldn't have gone. Maybe I was just being naive because I am so desperate to lose the weight I put on. For my job, I am in front of or on a small stage of a large group of people, anywhere between 15-60 people (teaching them to paint) and I don't want to think people are staring at me and judging me. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again. Maybe I need to go talk to someone? But my new health insurance starts the beginning of June. Words of advice, anyone who is in or has been in a similar situation or suggestions, please help and let me know. I just don't know what to do anymore.