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  1. The Journey

    My story is similar to yours. Recovery began with a single thought. Is it possible to be free of this addiction? The first line of Mary Oliver’s famous poem “The Journey†says you can be. The Journey By Mary Oliver One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began. Though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble, and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!†each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do. Though the wind pried, with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road was full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, Determined to do the only thing you could do, Determined to save the only life you could save. I didn’t know how to go about it until….I found this website and read your stories. I scoured the whole site. Mikes articles really got me thinking that quitting is possible for me and your stories convinced me that I’m not alone in the endeavor. How did I know what I had to do? I’m not sure who coined the word Adderall Zombie on this site, but I related. I felt like the living dead.The pill's energy was shooting off in off in every direction except at the target. I needed a way out. I had been putting out feelers for help for the last 3 months and was unable to find anything or anybody that understood what quitting Adderall was all about. It is a unique addiction. The shame factor for me was strong and Adderall was the most guarded secret of my life. I read Mike’s article about weaning yourself off Adderall and thought, since I’ve been whittling it down for the last year or so I thought maybe that’s for me. One of the suggestions in the article was to try taking a vacation day from the drug. That was something I have never done in the 12 years of using the drug. I took Mike up on the suggestion, on a Saturday, and much to my surprise, I survived. A week later on June 22, 2013 I quit. As of today, it has been 11 days of Adderall freedom and I feel pretty good about it. I sleep 12 hours or more a day. I don’t like that, but I figure the Devil has to be paid. Does anyone else like the metaphor of addiction and transformation in Mary Oliver’s poem? She is one of my inspirations for quitting and staying quit.