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  1. Hello folks here on the Quiting Adderall forum. My name is Will Hoppin, I am 17 and live in the SF Bay Area (Marin County specifically). I'm currently making a documentary on Adderall use among my peers in high school because the demand for teenagers to focus and achieve is higher than it ever has been -- there is so much competition now. I've already interviewed a few of my friends who are taking it and now I'm looking to interview a couple of people who've been taking it for a number of years -- in particular people who've stopped taking it, or are trying to quit. The film needs to show the contrast between teens who feel that it's a harmless performance enhancer, and adults who have more insight and experience about how serious a pharmaceutical it really is. I don't have to tell anyone here on this forum how pervasive the Adderall issue is in society right now. (!) My hope is that together, we can shine some light on the subject and raise consciousness about it. Thank you for considering it, and if you'd like to get involved (or know anyone who might like to get involved) and see some interview snippets of what I've already shot, please contact me. My email is willhoppin2@gmail.com. With gratitude for all, Will
  2. Hey guys 👋🼠So here's the sitch I'm in and could use some help with. I have just significantly change my environment and moved to a different city I know that I've been making progress in my reduction and reducing my impulses when I have triggers but this new environment I've moved into is overwhelming me with how much I have to adjust to. I am from a smaller town with very little activity and I developed ways of coping without utilizing the medicine in my old environment now that I've moved I fear that I'm not sure how to develop new coping mechanisms that are not substance based. I've read all the posts on the difference between quitting cold turkey and weaning yourself off and from everything I've read and my own usage I know that it's best to wean i've read all the posts on the difference between quitting cold turkey and weaning yourself off and from everything I've read and my own usage I know that it's best to wean myself off. I've been studying my habits tracking my impulses setting timers making sure that I am accountable with a person in my life that is capable of doing that for me which I'm grateful for and I've held myself to those goals when I was living at home now I've thrown myself into a situation where my environment is completely different I am in a At home now I've thrown myself into a situation where my environment is completely different I am in a place that's much more active than what I've been used to. I'm posting this wondering if there's any members that have had experience with what I'm doing having the goal of weaning off knowing their intake is very high and having to develop new coping mechanisms in a place where they don't have anyone to support them.
  3. Hello my fellow quitters! Looks like we all have a story to tell. It blows my mind how many different paths or journeys have lead all us here to the same place. My Adderall usage spans out over a 6 year period and I can honestly say that I could right a book about it. I think it would be a top seller too, after all, it would include drugs, sex and money coupled with addiction and depression. Definitely a New York Times best seller! But I really can't go in to all that right now because I have a date with my daughter at 9pm to watch The Walking Dead which I am looking forward to. What I want t share with you guys I'm sure has been said here before, Heck, there is a good chance that no one will ever read this but I felt compelled to post it because it might just help one person out there stop using and that is so worth it to me. My addictions included not just Adderall but pain pills, klonopin, coke, cigarettes and weed. (I hope I'm allowed to say those things on here??) I say addiction but I think the better term is "dependent" but either way I needed and wanted those things everyday. About a year ago, my world came crashing down and I fell into a deep, dark depression. I wanted to end my life, in fact, I was going to. It seemed like the only option I had. I read somewhere that committing suicide is like a person jumping from the 88th floor in a burning building. It's not that they want to jump, it's just the better option between that or burning in a fire. My mom, who is my angel, knew what was going on and saved my life by asking me to just wait a while. I'm glad I did because now my wife still has a husband, my mom still has her son and most importantly, my daughter still has her daddy! That kicked off my first attempt to quit Adderall and everything. I lasted 3 months and then I started using again. I was fired from my job, the only job I have ever loved, and going back to work made me feel like I needed Adderall, so I started taking it. I felt like a failure but I knew I wanted to be drug free, I just didn't know how to get there. I was back to smoking, using and everything else when I got fired from my most recent job which lasted 3 whole months. How pathetic is that, right? With no job and an expensive drug habit, I knew I had to do something. This is where it gets interesting. About 2 months ago, I was looking for some pain pills when I was offered some Suboxone. I had heard about it before and really debated on whether or not I should buy some. I thought, well, if I can't find the good stuff, I'll just take this until someone calls me. Now, I am not saying it was a miracle drug that allowed me to stop everything cold turkey, however, what it did do was change my way of thinking long enough for me to turn my life around. I took a very low dose (1mg) every other day for about a week or so. I instantly stopped craving everything, and I mean everything! It even lifted my depression and I felt normal, to the point that I literally cried after about a week! Suboxone has a long half life, 72 hours I think, so I knew it was a matter of time before it wore off and I would be back to my old ways. But I felt SO good that I thought I'd finally start sleeping right, eating right and working out again to see if it would help me by the time the suboxone was out of my system. I'm a little over a month in to my "revelation" and it has been amazing! I am getting up every morning, eating healthy, working out and I spend my time listening to Joel Osteen. I'm not part of any organized religion but I do believe in God and that in order for him to help us, our minds have to be free and clear of any chemicals that are altering our brains. But I know He is with me now and that he had a plan for me this whole time. But what I find amazing are the little things. I am able to cope and deal with stress so much better now. I have emotions! I laugh, I cry, I get happy and sometimes I get sad. I think what brings me down the most is when I have to come to terms with the fact that I have hurt a lot of people these past several years, good people, people that I love and people that I miss. I try not to dwell on it but I do still have a life of regret that I have to deal with everyday. Well it's 9pm and I am off to watch our show. I do want to say that I am not a big advocate for suboxone or religion or whatever else that has helped me, but this is my story for now and I am happier today than I have been in a very long time. Good luck to all of you and God Bless!
  4. I'm done.I can't do this anymore.if I do not end this cycle it will end me I will lose my precious babies and it will take my life.Adderall is Satan it has robbed me of my looks joy and any ability to grow as a person.its been 10 years of chaos I'm sick of the time lapses/blackouts sores on my skin painful broken teeth from the constant grinding.it has caused so much damage in my life I won't let it destroy my children.At 240 mg a dayb and going on 65 hours of no sleep I have finally hit bottom.The "postpartum" psychosis accompanied by the continuous sweating and has scared the life out of me...I surrender.Thank you all for this site coming across this site tonight has been a miracle for me I have never felt this bad.
  5. It's only been 17 days since I've stopped using Adderall. I've quit over twenty times before now, but this time I know that I am finished with Adderall for good. I am entering the world as myself, and that is incredibly scary. I'm feeling like a complete mess- so lazy and unmotivated, with piles of things to do everywhere. Every day is a little easier. I am learning to take tasks one by one. I’ve realized how boring cleaning actually is haha. I have just sort of accepted that this who I am and this is what I am going to need to go through to get better, but I truly wonder if I ever really will get "better." Yes I don't feel as a tired as I did the first seven or eight days into it, but I still just feel so far from being who I have known for so long, the girl that I have come to know on Adderall. My story is not a whole lot different from any of yours. I am so happy to have found this website, for the longest time I have known that I have a problem with Adderall and that I am addicted, yet any place that I would go for help I would find myself fully able to connect with the other types of drug addictions out there. I used Adderall as a way to be more successful. At first with very good intentions, actually probably the whole duration of the time I used Adderall was for good intentions. I am now a physical education teacher and only 28 years old. My user name: wouldn't have known, comes from the fact that hardly anyone in my life knew, with the exception of my sister who also uses, my therapist and my doctor(s); mostly because I hid it from the world. I started using in high school, when a friend in my class offered it to me. I refused it several times because I was not one to use drugs and swore to myself that I never would, but after his explanation that it would help me in school, and that it was unlike other drugs, I finally gave in. He was so right. It was amazing, euphoric. I remember going to Chemistry, a class that I absolutely dreaded and for the first time everything made sense. I asked my friend for more Adderall, before I knew it I received a 103 on my Chemistry exam, the second highest score in the class was a 73. It felt absolutely amazing to feel smart and capable. I thrived off of this feeling. I found several ways to get it from friends to get me through the last year of high school and eventually went to my doctor to make my plea for ADHD. From the time I went on the medication, I achieved straight A's in all of my classes. I also used the drug to get my self into amazing shape physically. I finished college with my master's degree quicker then most of my peers and settled into my current career as a physical education teacher. I also coach cheerleading and gymnastics, I am a snowboarding instructor, and I started a summer camp. I do so much! Up until this moment, you are probably reading this and wandering so what was the big deal? And for most people, this is the, “me†they know, because this is the, “me†they see. Even me, after writing that, I am looking back and only seeing the positive at this moment. The truth is, through all of this, I almost killed myself several times on accident. Even found myself in the hospital more than a handful of times, nearly overdosing on Adderall trying to handle the high levels of stress that the Adderall brought into my life. In the hospital I claimed taking too much was an accident. It scared me, but I did not stop. This was a true indication of addiction. Several times, I felt my heart skip a few beats or start beating over 120 beats per minute at rest. I would feel my toes and hands tingle, I really feared having a stroke or heart attack and think it was very close to being my reality. I never was able to use the drug as prescribed; I always tried to when I got that new script at the beginning of the month. I had intentions of doing it that way. I would say to myself, if I just used the drug as prescribed I would be fine. I would go maybe a day or two and as soon as that next big task presented itself, down went the pills, taking 60-100mg at a time, several times a day and at some points during my addiction even more. Leaving myself running out 10-15 days early. I think I even went through a whole months worth in less then a week once. As you all know the doctors will not fill the script this early. I'd have to go through this painful process of withdrawal every month. I would try to find friends who had Adderall or anything I could get my hands on through this time period to try to feel better. I remember scavenging through my drawers, and bags hoping just somewhere I could find any little pill that could give me relief. I remember even licking the little case I kept my Adderall pills in... pathetic. Not only the damage that I knew I was doing to my body, I hated how Adderall made me lose a big piece of who I was while I was on it. I think that it was maybe the withdrawal period that allowed me to recognize this. After the initial strong withdrawal symptoms started to fade, I started to feel alive again, me again. That day that script came in, I would take that pill so eager and excited but then quickly realize, I was not the fun loving, patient, and easy going person that I am naturally. Rather... I am overly focused, uptight, easily irritated, and unable to connect with others emotionally. I never really had the need for friendship or socializing while on the Adderall- whatever task I needed to do at the moment always took priority, I rarely answered my phone, never responded to texts, and never made time for the people I love. I've lost so many friends, damaged relationships with family members, and lost a few people that I really loved, including the biggest loss of my life, my father who passed away from his own addiction problems 11 months ago. This I will come back to in some other post some other time. Just wanted to share with all of you my story because I have connected with all of your stories so much. There is so much more to it but this where I am at for now. I am clean 17 days and going strong with no intentions of ever going back on the medicine. I have told my therapist and my boyfriend for accountability. I have also thrown away my pills, told my sister so that she knows that I don’t want to be around it and what I am going through and even told my doctor. I am actually on my way to the doctors right now for a physical to check all my blood work and to see where I am health wise after all of this damage that I have done to my body. Good luck to everyone and let me know if there’s anyway I can help any of you succeed at quitting too.