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My workload at school (Masters in illustration) is really overwhelming and I haven't put in nearly the same amount of effort or attention to detail as I used to into my work. My teachers are starting to echo their counterparts from my high school and early college days, "you have so much potential, if you only applied yourself" which is frankly kind of humiliating to hear at the age of 25. I've been off of adderall for about six months now and I can't say I feel all that great; I'm definitely over some humps and am happy to not be a nervous, twitchy mess, but I still feel manic and depressed a lot (perhaps to a lesser degree, though) in a really flimsy way, like emotionally I'm just a cardboard cutout. I haven't really been proud of any of the work I've done since I quit with the exception of one piece that I did over school break because I could take my meandering, easily distracted time with it (I actually thought about making an uplifting inspirational topic on this forum citing my painting as an example of successfully overcoming addiction), but otherwise I just get fatigued and unable to take any piece to a satisfying end. Socially I'm doing okay, I definitely don't act like a crankpuss or a cokehead as much as I used to, but I still get mopey and socially anxious from time to time. If on Adderall my life was mostly Black punctuated by flashes of White, right now it's just a consistent muddy grey. Frankly I'm unhappy and unmotivated, even in the face of success, and I kind of just want to get back into my adderall addiction so I don't have to be present for everything