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I've been medicated since I was 12 years old. Antidepressants of all classes (SSRI's, SNRI's, etc.) have never worked for me. I'm 21 now--hooked on 60 milligrams of adderall IR, 2mg of clonazepam, and 10mg of Ambien. I've been taking the clonazepam for drug-induced anxiety for two years now. I felt a little slow from it, and talked with my doctor. Vyvance was his recommendation; first 30mg, then 40mg, then my doctor said it's worth a shot to try adderall--starting me on 50 milligrams. Yes, 50, and I'm sure most are aware that vyvance is nowhere equivalent to adderall's potency. Clearly my doctor got his PhD out of a crackerjack box, but since I'm an addict, I was fine with it--excited actually. I'm starting to ramble and will get to the point. It's been one year now, and my life isn't what it used to be. Eventually I was boosted to 60mg, but that wasn't enough; I was running out of energy, wouldn't leave the house, etc. Don't ask how, but now I take 90-120mg to leave my room. I simply can't without it. I save the clonazepam for the crash, and take it all at the same time. Ambien is another friend that joined the group a couple months ago, which I must take for sleep or I'll be up until 5 a.m. (Like I am now). Adderall helped with my schoolwork, but I feel that I was taking so much that it turned into an OCPD sort of thing. The only fun I have now is if I'm alone; all I do is draw and write. I pretty much block everyone out of my life. My family, friends, and even my girlfriend don't know why I'm so antisocial. The thing is, I can't imagine my life without adderall. Like I read when I first checked out this site, I wonder who I would be right now if I wouldn't have taken that first pill. With my other two addictions (not including an immense amount of caffeine and nicotine) I know I need to quit adderall first (I can probably handle the ambien, but clonazepam withdrawal is hell). When I think about it, I imagine dropping out of school, losing my job, and permanently turning into a zombie. I've probably spent 45 minutes on this post. So my only question is: Can anyone help me, or can anyone relate to this amphetamine/benzo/z-drug addiction I'm dealing with? I'll respond in the late-afternoon.. Thanks.