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Hi guys. I am four days into my sobriety and don't get me wrong this withdrawal is fucking terrible, and I didn't even expect to get withdrawal because I only used Adderall every other day and spent a couple breaks of several months. Looking back, I can clearly see where stopping the Adderall lined up with my psychiatric symptoms such as depression and psychosis, which I had no idea were withdrawal from the Adderall. I didn't realize I could be addicted to it after just using it every OTHER day. I recall a couple of weeks after stopping the Adderall when I was abusing it heavily in 2016, I had a severe manic break when I went off all my antipsychotic meds. For several months after, I struggled with severe depression. I was crashing hard, and I even attended a special school designed as an outpatient program, which I hated, and I even got thirteen rounds of electroconvulsive therapy because literally no medication would help my depression. Anyway, now I have realized the terrible things I have been doing to my brain, and I'm four days sober. Before a relapse, I had three days of sobriety. Yesterday was incredibly rough, I physically felt like I had lost contact with my body (even though I was seeing and hearing fine) from depersonalization. I felt disconnected from everything, unable to experience even the slightest emotion or sense of happiness. I am empty. Today has been very much the same, but I feel a little different. I would hesitate to say I am getting better, but in a way I am choosing to be happy. I have to force myself to think about little things like the birds chirping in the morning that make me happy. I have no energy, but I am forcing myself to do projects anyway. Despite my mental illness and drug addiction, or perhaps BECAUSE of it, I am a published author beginning a promising career. My poetry and fiction has been featured in numerous literary journals, and I have a poetry book recently accepted for publication by a small press, about my experiences with drug addiction and mental illness. Right now, after I type this post, I am going to force myself to work through my next draft of the book because my editor wants me to make some edits. I kinda realize now that even though I feel like absolute crap, I just need to force myself through it. My doctor is going to prescribe me Strattera, which is a non-recreational medication to treat focus and depression. In the past, I was able to quit Adderall for several months with virtually no withdrawal symptoms because of this medication. I don't consider it a replacement drug or another way to get high, simply because it isn't recreational and not a traditional stimulant. I am wondering if my withdrawal period will be better and shorter than most people's on this site because I didn't use it every day, and because I had taken several month-long breaks. What do you guys think? Also have any of you tried Strattera or a related antidepressant like Wellbutrin?