Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'bipolar'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Quitting Adderall Forums
    • Announcements
    • Tell your story
    • General Discussion
    • Lounge (off-topic stuff)
    • Supplements, Energy Drinks, and Alternatives
    • Member locations (for meetups)

Calendars

  • Community Calendar

Found 4 results

  1. Hi! I am two days sober. I had two intense cravings today, but I got through it simply by waiting. I don't even try to fight it and say: no, I won't use amphetamine, I simply wait fifteen minutes and see if I still want to use it. By then the cravings have completely passed. Some background about me. I am eighteen years old. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (schizoaffective, bipolar type) when I was a freshman in high school and had a psychotic break. In sophomore year of high school I started stealing my brother's ADHD pills. I didn't even get high at first. I would take a pill, and then literally take a nap. But I started to become sensitized to the pills and extremely addicted to them. I would use them every day, multiple times a day. I was also recently prescribed an antidepressant and already having my first manic episode, so the amphetamine just made it much, much worse. I had a very very bad, traumatic, manic break a couple of weeks after stopping the Adderall pills along with all of my antipsychotic medication and my antidepressant. I'm talking, running down the street naked at one AM, covered in blood screaming at people about UFOs while cutting myself. I was tackled by the police, handcuffed to the gurney in the ambulance, and forcibly injected with tranquilizers then hospitalized. I have been on involuntary psychiatric holds probably about twenty or more times throughout my life, I have lost count. Since being diagnosed when I was fourteen, I haven't gone more than a couple months without some sort of psychiatric intervention. At first this was because I was delusional and refused to take my meds, and later it was because of suicidal thoughts and two attempts once I gained insight into how I was sick and how shitty my life was, and also because of the mood swings associated with my amphetamine addiction. My most recent hospitalization was a week ago, when I stuck my head in the oven like Sylvia Plath to kill myself because I was going through amphetamine withdrawal. Withdrawals have become dangerous for me in the past due to suicidal thoughts. I have two suicide attempts, the other was in April 2018 when I was withdrawing from kratom and Adderall and overdosed on a sedative and a bottle of liquor and locked myself in the bathroom and passed out. They had to pump my stomach. For me, the amphetamine abuse and the mental illness go hand in hand. Mania feels almost exactly like Adderall, and Adderall feels almost exactly like mania. When I am manic I want to take drugs to increase the feeling, and when I take drugs I just become more manic. I know for a fact that the two very simple things I have to do to stay out of the hospital, which I have not quite figured out how to do even after all these years, is SIMPLY: 1. Take my medication. 2. Stop taking drugs. I have got the medication down, I am compliant, but I have not figured out how to stop taking stimulant drugs. Recently, in the past year, my use has not been Adderall but an even stronger stimulant you can buy in a nasal spray I will not name over the counter at any pharmacy. This has been troublesome, because going to pick up my meds has been a trigger. I am two days sober. I relapsed on Thursday morning after three days sober. I have been to two AA meetings, and plan to go to the Dual Recovery meeting on Monday. I know now that I have to change, but damn it it's fucking hard! The withdrawals seriously suck. I didn't realize, since I only used every OTHER day, that I would experience withdrawals, but I guess after years of consistent use that I would. I relapsed on Thursday because I couldn't stand the depression and fatigue. This time, I got some supplements which have been helping me massively with energy levels during the withdrawals. I want to quit kratom when I move in two weeks, but I learned that it is too much to quit both Adderall and kratom at once right now. My kratom use is not extreme and I don't expect much withdrawals. I plan to get through these two weeks before I move to another state, and hopefully attend meetings as much as possible. The kratom will go eventually, but it's not the most major problem I have. I would just like to not be dependent on anything, even a mild herb. What has been working for me in terms of coping with cravings is simply praying the rosary whenever I experience a craving. The craving passes after I pray it. I am a very religious person and want to become an Episcopal priest after I learn to manage my mental illness and addiction better. I have actually been doing better with my mental illness. The psychosis is mostly gone, the mania is under control, I'm just still learning how to cope with depression occasionally. I know depression will be really bad in the first month. I have been having really bad nightmares and also really wonderful, pleasant vivid dreams at once. Any tips on anything? Thanks for reading.
  2. ATTN: All those who hate the pharmaceutical industry and feel they would never have started using ADHD medications if they'd been properly informed of their harm (my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join) I have never used ADHD drugs myself, but lost my fiancee to Adderall addiction three years ago. Since then I've been researching the vested interests who have caused these controlled substances to be recommended as supposedly "safe" and "beneficial" for even toddlers. This continued to bother my conscience for 3 years day and night, during which I've conducted extensive research. The facts I've compiled (including personal communications with the FDA and Health Canada who have admitted to the alleged misrepresentation) have convinced a large law firm (MCELDREW YOUNG, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW) to start a class action lawsuit on contingency, alleging the violation of the public's right to informed consent about Adderall, Vyvanse and Daytrana, Strattera, Concerta, Ritalin or Focalin. YOUR HELP IS NEEDED TO SUCCEED AT GETTING THESE HARMFUL MEDICATIONS OFF THE MARKET, please keep reading.this about what you can do to help. I'll be an expert witness in this lawsuit, and to guarantee its success, we are looking for principle plaintiffs (also called class representatives) who are trusted members of this forum who want these drugs recalled as badly as i do, who would do everything humanly possible to represent the best interest of every other class member (possibly thousands of damaged parties who can document side effects such as depression, heart disease, etc. including documentable addiction/abuse). These principle class representatives will get a larger compensation (can be up to $30, 000 more than everyone else), their names will be publicly disclosed but not any information from their medical records (the rest of the class members will neither have their names nor damages publicly disclosed). I have read about class action suits whose class representatives were paid-off to agree to settle for almost nothing with a non-disclosure agreement preventing the press from hearing anything. I have also read about class representatives who have agreed to settle for a huge sum for the law firm and negligible amounts for the injured plaintiffs themselves. This is why I don't want to take chances with just anyone the law firm may assign, but want trusted members of this forum who will promise here that they will not let any such thing happen to this lawsuit. You can read more about the responsibilities of class representatives here: https://library.nclc.org/class/010901-0 So if you'd like to do this, I hope you are as outraged as me me to have been a victim of pharmaceutical fraud, wanting as much as me to end it. Again, I'll be asking these people to promise here to do everything they can to negotiate a huge settlement from the drug manufacturers or let the case go to trial if the drug companies refuse to comply, never signing a non-disclosure agreement and allowing us to create a huge public stink about this fraud ruining millions of innocent lives each year. To see if you qualify to represent this class, please read the top part of this questionnaire: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/class-action-lawsuit/ and then fill it out if you wish to participate (will only take 5 minutes to complete, my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join). Then my law firm will get back to you. When the law firm contacts you, I may get compensated for my 3 years of hard work if you'd kindly let them know that this essay (http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf) helped you realize the full extent to which ADHD drugs have been misrepresented as "safe" and "beneficial" (you don't have to read all of this, but please keep reading until you see how badly you all have been defrauded by the pharmaceutical industry -- trust me, you will end up as furious as I am before you finish the first page or two, you can verify every statement instantly with clickable references). My law firm may also ask you when was the first time that you realized that your right to informed consent was violated. People who realized this sometime in the past may not qualify to participate as the lawsuit has a statute of limitations for 2 years. But the statue of limitations starts now for all those who have realized that their informed consent was violated after reading the facts I've presented to them: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf. Thanks again for your much appreciated contributions to help prevent future generations from falling prey to increase drug company profits. Asli Theobald, M.S., Information Systems Analyst
  3. ATTN: All those who hate the pharmaceutical industry and feel they would never have started using ADHD medications if they'd been properly informed of their harm (my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join) , I have never used ADHD drugs myself, but lost my fiancee to Adderall addiction three years ago. Since then I've been researching the vested interests who have caused these controlled substances to be recommended as supposedly "safe" and "beneficial" for even toddlers. This continued to bother my conscience for 3 years day and night, during which I've conducted extensive research. The facts I've compiled (including personal communications with the FDA and Health Canada who have admitted to the alleged misrepresentation) have convinced a large law firm (MCELDREW YOUNG, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW) to start a class action lawsuit on contingency, alleging the violation of the public's right to informed consent about Adderall, Vyvanse and Daytrana, Strattera, Concerta, Ritalin or Focalin. YOUR HELP IS NEEDED TO SUCCEED AT GETTING THESE HARMFUL MEDICATIONS OFF THE MARKET, please keep reading.this about what you can do to help. I'll be an expert witness in this lawsuit, and to guarantee its success, we are looking for principle plaintiffs (also called class representatives) who are trusted members of this forum who want these drugs recalled as badly as i do, who would do everything humanly possible to represent the best interest of every other class member (possibly thousands of damaged parties who can document side effects such as depression, heart disease, etc. including documentable addiction/abuse). These principle class representatives will get a larger compensation (can be up to $30, 000 more than everyone else), their names will be publicly disclosed but not any information from their medical records (the rest of the class members will neither have their names nor damages publicly disclosed). I have read about class action suits whose class representatives were paid-off to agree to settle for almost nothing with a non-disclosure agreement preventing the press from hearing anything. I have also read about class representatives who have agreed to settle for a huge sum for the law firm and negligible amounts for the injured plaintiffs themselves. This is why I don't want to take chances with just anyone the law firm may assign, but want trusted members of this forum who will promise here that they will not let any such thing happen to this lawsuit. You can read more about the responsibilities of class representatives here: https://library.nclc.org/class/010901-0 So if you'd like to do this, I hope you are as outraged as me me to have been a victim of pharmaceutical fraud, wanting as much as me to end it. Again, I'll be asking these people to promise here to do everything they can to negotiate a huge settlement from the drug manufacturers or let the case go to trial if the drug companies refuse to comply, never signing a non-disclosure agreement and allowing us to create a huge public stink about this fraud ruining millions of innocent lives each year. To see if you qualify to represent this class, please read the top part of this questionnaire: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/class-action-lawsuit/ and then fill it out if you wish to participate (will only take 5 minutes to complete, my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join). Then my law firm will get back to you. When the law firm contacts you, I may get compensated for my 3 years of hard work if you'd kindly let them know that this essay (http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf) helped you realize the full extent to which ADHD drugs have been misrepresented as "safe" and "beneficial" (you don't have to read all of this, but please keep reading until you see how badly you all have been defrauded by the pharmaceutical industry -- trust me, you will end up as furious as I am before you finish the first page or two, you can verify every statement instantly with clickable references). My law firm may also ask you when was the first time that you realized that your right to informed consent was violated. People who realized this sometime in the past may not qualify to participate as the lawsuit has a statute of limitations for 2 years. But the statue of limitations starts now for all those who have realized that their informed consent was violated after reading the facts I've presented to them: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf. Thanks again for your much appreciated contributions to help prevent future generations from falling prey to increase drug company profits. Asli Theobald, M.S., Information Systems Analyst
  4. I am 38/male and from the USA.. I started this over a year ago and the doctor has me legitimately on 50MG a day. I didn't realize how addicting it is and I didn't realize that I was driven at times to the manic side since I am also on Prozac 80MG a day and Neurontin. Last month, I refilled an extra prescription that I had because the doctor wrote me one ahead of time because I was about to be discharged because I wasn't seeing a therapist. Got the second one filled at a pharmacy that I never got any medication from and paid cash.. Over the past six weeks or so I have taken anywhere from 60MG - 100MG a day. I pop 2 20MG when I get out of bed and take with Monster Energy. I had a friend get some more from me from a hookup. I have been using them as a crutch to get thru bad situations just pop the pills like a candy. I never feel that Euphoric effect I once had and I really need to charge the SSRI because I flip out at the tiniest problem.. All these medications have done more harm than good. I have NO job and I have a BA degree & MS degree in fields that are in demand and after over two years of interviewing, temp jobs that just 'ended' with a phone call for a vague reason and no full time job I have no motivation. I own a business absentee but that is a whole other story.. I am trying to taper down slowly. Is insomnia & trouble sleeping common side effect. I cannot get more than a few hours of sleep and some times I am constantly starving. I workout doing high intensity boxing conditioning at least 5 days a week so I am still (thank god) within normal range for weight.