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  1. I don't even know where to start. I could write books and even that wouldn't be enough. I'll try to keep this short& simple (which we all know is hard to do when you're on adderall). I'm 24 years old and have been addicted to adderall for 7 years now. I've lost myself and have turned into a miserable person in the process. I thought that I had reached rock bottom... and then 5 months ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. You would think that this would be enough of a wake up call& that I'd quit. NOPE. I'm getting strong chemotherapy right now (one that is known for having a damaging effect on the heart, I may add) and I'm STILL abusing adderall. What the fuck is wrong with me?? The worst part of it all? Nobody in my life has any clue about my addiction and extent of my abuse. People think I'm this hard working young woman who respects herself and body. Everyone is treating me so kindly and expressing their concern, since I'm "battling cancer and on the toughest journey of my life, and feel/look like shit from chemo, etc.." ....but in reality, I have been struggling with something far worse for the past seven years without any support. This cancer is a piece of fucking cake compared to my psychologically twisted dependence on these pills.. which is fucking ridiculous. Obviously, I need to quit for good ASAP. My life depends on it. Wish me luck.