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I worked in a field that required fast writing on a strict deadline. This had always been challenging but not insurmountable. While on the medication I would sink into a sort of trance. I'd lose track of time in this fog and simple tasks became overwhelming. I would rewrite copy over and over, making insignificant changes and taking forever to complete. I'd re-edit video, fixating on minute details and forgetting the big picture. I would over research every story, reading article after article and then be paralyzed with anxiety to realize I had only minutes to print my work. I told myself I was being a perfectionist and doing a thorough job, but I was really causing stress for my co-workers and ultimately compromising the product for everyone, by missing deadlines and causing chaos by my lateness. I'd vow every morning to be faster, but with the pills, it was more a matter of chemistry than will power. After several warnings I was let go. I made excuses to myself and others but inside I knew the cause of the problem and my responsibility for letting the situation continue. The saddest part is even with this understanding, I continued using. Now I've burned through my unemployment in an endless tunnel of twitter news feeds, podcasts and other internet drifting. No motivation for anything else. I got a lot of reading done and applied for a smattering of jobs over the last 10 months, but in general I'm ashamed because I've never had more free time and accomplished less. Now I've been tapering off and ready to be done forever, but I'm intimidated to start the job quest / return to the world thing without them. The withdrawal funk is intense and I can't let it impede my quest for work. I wasted the luxury of time and savings, so now I'm hoping caffeine and perseverance will get me over the gap. Just found this forum today and it's already been very helpful and encouraging, so thought I'd share. Thanks