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  1. Small Changes Adding Up

    Writing this because I often feel like I'm making zero progress as I haven't given up my ADD meds entirely, but looking back from my original post I am realizing there's a lot of little changes and little wins that are important to realize. Also the work starts far before that last "day 1". So... Hey Self - Things I want to remind you of when you feel like you're making no progress... 1. AWARENESS - I have become way more aware of my "triggers" - the environments, time of day, certain tasks/responsibilities, situations where I feel I need to be 100% on, emotions and wanting to avoid / escape them. 2. URGE SURFING - I used to give in immediately to a strong urge. Now when an urge hits I have more capacity to sit with my discomfort and observe it. The time I am able to wait between an urge and fulfilling that urge has become longer and longer. And sometimes even long enough to avoid it completely. The craving does eventually pass if I wait it out long enough - and the pride and satisfaction I have each time I escape using it at all is a pretty amazing feeling and should be celebrated. I am trying to remember this when the cravings hit. 3. THINGS THAT FEEL IMPOSSIBLE TO DO UNMEDICATED ARE POSSIBLE - and won't feel torturous and impossible forever if I do it enough times unmedicated. I have learned how to do the hardest thing - going to work unmedicated. At first it felt like I was drowning and that everything was mentally grueling and zapped my brain of all energy. But after several medication breaks and stints of sobriety I am realizing I can do everything at my job without medicine, and it does get easier and less mentally exhausting the more I practice doing these things without a little pill. 4. I HAVE GOTTEN BETTER AT THE SHAME CYCLE ( still working on it though) - I originally thought that I could beat myself into submission - that if I punished myself enough for falling off track then I would do better. But it's just the opposite. The more I hate on myself for slipping up the more I use to try to escape that feeling. The more forgiveness I give myself when I've messed up, the quicker I move on and get back on track. This mean little voice is still there in my head sometimes and it still comes up but I am getting better at identifying it and replacing it with love. 5. JUST. KEEP. GOING. / SCREW PERFECTION This thing takes time. I can not rush it. Being a perfectionist only leads me to an "all or nothing mentality" and I'm learning to embrace slow patient growth. I have gotten up time and time again when I felt like giving up. THIS WORK is just as important (and necessary) as quitting for good is. Curious to know if anyone else notices these "small changes" adding up too?