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Found 4 results

  1. Let me start by saying that I am so glad I have found this forum! I have spent the last hour reading many posts dealing with Adderall and how it affects marriages. I thank God that I am not going crazy and that I am not just "over reacting" as my wife puts it. My wife of 23 years started Adderall about 8 years ago. She had just started a new job and was going to be working for a very demanding boss, this boss sent her home with a manual titled " (bosses name) Bible" and she was to read it and follow it to the "T". It wasn't too much longer that she had diagnosed herself with ADD and even pulled me in to confirm her diagnosis, I simply replied that "yes, it does seem that you have some of these symptoms". She made a appointment with her family doctor and was sent home with a self diagnosis checklist that she was to fill out and one that I was to fill out as well. She took both back to her doctor and was diagnosed with ADD and given a prescription for Vyvance, which was soon changed to extended release Adderall and then finally to regular Adderall. The family doctor didn't want to be involved in monitoring the meds so she was referred to a psychiatrist, who has been prescribing ever since. When my wife first took the meds I was really excited for her! She was on the go! The kitchen got cleaned and organized, pots got stacked, lids got hung, spices got alphabetized.... I could go on and on... she was on fire! Unfortunately this only lasted for about 2 weeks and since then it has been a slow decline to the other extreme. Today my wife is unbearable, and before I found this forum this morning I was on google doing research on the divorce laws in my state. Lets start with the anger. Her anger and the things that will say when angry are off the chart. I literally tip toe around the house on egg shells and try everything I possibly can to not set her off. I have come to realize that there is really nothing I can do not to set her off, my mere presence in the room is often enough. She is angry/spiteful first thing in the morning before I even speak to her. I really hope I can convey the constant stress that is always present in my home. I know when she has taken an Adderall... she will become talkative and semi-nice... she will have plans for dinner or for stuff she wants to accomplish for the weekend, but I know from experience that by the evening she will be unbearable again. These positive bumps in her mood used to excite me, but now I resent them because I know they are drug induced and short lived. I feel like she is setting me up to knock me down later. I now realize that there is nothing I can do to keep her in a good mood and that everything I do can potentially piss her off, but for the sake of peace and because of my children (19 &21) I still try to tip toe around her. Everything is always someone else's fault! Its always the "F...tards at work" the "stupid ass cashier" to blame. She has not taken responsibility for anything in years. Just this morning, while backing out of the driveway (late of course), she cut to sharp and got her car up against our mailbox and the rear wheel stuck in the wet grass. I had to winch her out and the whole time she was freaking out telling me to hurry because she was already late and cussing the neighbor because if they hadn't parked in the street she would have had plenty of room to back out and wouldn't have got stuck. Just last week she backed out of the garage (late again) and backed at an angle straight into my daughters car... this time is was my daughters fault...why? I don't know, and she never explains. When she is pushed for an explanation as to why shes mad, or why its my fault she just changes the subject... or gets madder. She always loses things, keys, phone, shoes, hairbrush....and it is always because someone moved them, not because she just dropped them somewhere random. I don't even help her look anymore. How many times have I heard her freak out about leaving her phone in Target (actually she did that once) or the cashier at Walmart kept her debit card, only for her to find the missing item a few minutes later, but only after she puts everyone around trough a living hell and gets infuriated when no one else will help her look. I don't think she is abusing Adderall in the sense that she is only taking her prescribed dose. I do think that she is taking more of her Adderall during the week and skipping it on the weekends. She literally stays in bed all day on Saturday. She might get up around 2ish to start getting ready, but that process literally lasts until she goes to bed (or I go to bed, because I always go first). She never goes out anymore, she would rather me go and get take out for dinner, as she puts it all the time "I hate people". Sunday is the same thing, she will get ready all day and then around 5 or so she will visit her mom. After visiting her mom she will go to the grocery store and do the weekly shopping... texting me non stop from the store about what we need and what do we have and about all the stupid "f...tards" at Walmart etc.... The grocery shopping is the only thing that she does anymore for the good of the family. I have to force her to go every weekend or else that would be the last chore that would get shoveled onto me. I literally do everything else! Cooking, cleaning, fixing cars, cutting grass... basically everything else that can occur in life if my responsibility. She is the victim! She is dying, one day she will be dead and we will all feel bad about how we treated her... she says this all the time. She has lupus and kidney stones... both self diagnosed...and she refuses to go to the doctor to have it confirmed and/or treated. I have offered to go with her, I have bought her supplements and offered all types of advice and encouragement, but she prefers to do nothing. She literally moans and groans all weekend long. On a more personal note, our sex life is now gone. We used to have a great sex life and actually we could never understand how other couples could make it without sex at least a couple times a week. This happened really gradually and then escalated quickly over the last year. Now sex is maybe once a month and that is only if I really, really, really am careful not to piss her off during the day (which means I essentially have to leave the house) and if I fulfill all her wishes that day, then I might get lucky. Many times I have pandered to her all day only to get cut out at the end by a manufactured outrage, eg. "why did you roll your eyes"? I always feel anymore like she is doing me a favor... I have read where others have referred to there significant other as being emotionally vacant, I can totally relate. I really feel as though my wife doesn't feel emotions anymore. She makes cold comments sometimes that make me feel uneasy. I honestly don't feel like she loves me anymore, and have told her so. I know a lot of this may sound like typical marital stress, and I'm sure some of it is, but prior to Adderall our marriage was much better. My wife has zero interest in anything anymore, she goes to work Monday-Friday, stays up most of the night, falls asleep on the couch and then on the weekends she does nothing but stay in bed and on Sunday evening she will go to the grocery store. I am at my wits end and I know the stress of dealing with this is affecting me and my kids. Anyhow, this is my story to date... thanks for letting me share...
  2. Just trying to get some perspectives from others regarding Adderall behavior changes in a person. My story is pretty detailed. My life completely changed on me 4 1/2 months ago. My husband and I’ve been together for 14 years married for 4. Bipolar and addiction both run in his family. Trying to figure out if this is bipolar, Adderall or a mixture of things. My husband has past and present addiction issues. A few years’ back he overcame an opiate addiction. He has always smoked pot, but in 2016 he started smoking marijuana wax (dabbing) and recently in the last year started mixing it with CBD oil and vaping it. He would get high morning, noon and night; every day. November 23, 2016, Adderall came into our lives. He was diagnosed as a child with ADD and hasn’t been on any medication since high school and he’s now 36. Once he acquired Adderall from our General Practitioner, it changed him. Within a year and a half, I have dealt with severe mood swings, rage, extreme anxiety, panic attacks, easily irritated; he say things like he felt crazy and there was a time he said felt different than our people. He would slap himself, tear shirts off himself. When he got angry he would sometimes say was going to blow his brains out in arguments. He would sleep very little. He would say things in our arguments like he rather find a single mom who hit the lottery by being with him instead of dealing with things in our relationship. We began fighting more once he got on Adderall and we really did not fight much in the last 6 years. The last year and a half, I felt I was walking on eggshells in my house. I told him that I felt this medication was not right for him and he needed to talk to the doctor about getting on a different one, but he defends it. He says it has more pros for him like super confidence, focus and weight loss. Weight was a big thing for my husband. He had been overweight throughout our whole relationship and lost about 60 pounds once after Adderall. Right after he got on Adderall, he started insulating our garage and was out there until 12:30-1 am in the morning on weekdays and then would get up 4 hours later. Would be very annoyed with me and would yell at me whenever I ask him to come in the house. He would say it is not like I’m out at bars, I'm here. I know he would take more than prescribed because he would run out of his 30-day supply. There were weekly morning anxiety fits if nothing went how he wanted in the morning. It got so bad that my dogs would come by me whenever he grunted. To him, everything is wrong and it is everybody else that is the problem. Has zero coping skills and said he uses drugs to cope with the things that were bothering him. His daily cocktail: · 1-2 Adderall 30 RX · Two 5 hour energies · Vaping Marijuana wax mixed with CBD oil all day every day · A pack and half of cigarettes Some days a topical steroid for psoriasis. Very recently started drinking more; not every day but when he did, it was very high alcohol percentage beers. Excessive spender; would spend over $800 on pot, 5 hour energies and cigarettes a month. We would argue about how much he would spend on himself with his extra-curricular activities. Never managed money very well; a constant card swiper. My husband would constantly overdraft on his bank account. He made good money and had zero savings and on many occasions had a negative checking account. My husband seemed okay the days prior before he left. On July 16 all hell broke loose. The day before our fight, our friends invited us to hang out two weekends in a row. I wanted to hang out the first weekend they invited us, but he did not. So when we were asked again the following weekend, I had things to do so I encouraged him to go. He came home that night we were intimate, ate dinner and all seemed okay. The next day my husband kissed me goodbye told me have good day I said the same. We were texting during the day and everything seemed fine. When I came home he seemed very irritated and was sitting on the deck smoking pot. I know he did not sleep at all and he really had not slept the last couple days since being back on his Adderall and had drank the night before . Came home from work and had to take my dog to the vet for a knee issue. I briefly spoke to him I was kind of annoyed by his attitude and knew he did not sleep much. I did not ask him to go with because he had such anxiety with our other dog’s knee surgeries and I did not want to deal with his anxiety and bad mode. When I came back, I said she may need surgery and then he abruptly told me no more surgeries I want to divorce and then just went on this crazy rant of what I am not doing and what is so wrong in our relationship. His friend’s girlfriend was pregnant with their second child, we were not pregnant, and anything else that was wrong. I would never consider our marriage sexless. Some months we were active more than others.I had gotten off the pill a couple months earlier because we were going to start having children and he felt I was not trying enough. I wanted to start a family, but did have concerns about his recent behavior since being on Adderall. I know the last two months were not as active in the intimacy department, but we always were intimate every month. I will admit there were times I just didn’t feel like it, and as I talk about it to my Therapist I believe it was because everything that was going on . My husband spent more time to himself and I was taking on more responsibilities around house. The week before he left, we were intimate three times, including the night before our fight. He also said the week before he left how he could not wait until my stomach got bigger. He was making claims that after we were intimate the day before, I like did a face or something and to him appear to him I did something to prevent being pregnant. I had no idea what he was talking about and told him no look I would have gave would prevent pregnancy. He felt I did not want to have kids even though I had been tracking my cycle, saving money for when I was going to be of work ( he clearly wasn’t saving money) and in May had just bought Ovulation strips. But to him because I wasn’t saying “its Ovulation time” I wasn’t trying. Sure I could have done more I agree, but to say I wasn’t planning on having children is not true. We argued for about an hour and then he went to the garage and did not speak the rest of the evening.The next day he didn’t come home until 12:30 am and we argued more and he told me he was going to cheat on me and people were flirting with him and he did not enjoy himself the last few times intimately, which again was news to me. What was strange is my husband sex drive was never really ever like this before Adderall. But he seems to forget about how he use to be. He said he had been thinking since January about leaving and I had until July; which was also news to me because he never said anything about how I was on a time frame. But yet this whole time was talking about having kids with me and me being pregnant even up to the week before he left. We were planning an August and October vacations and another the following year in July. We stopped arguing around 2:00 am and I went to bed. About an hour later he is screaming at the top of his lungs that he can’t f****ing sleep and wants to shoot himself. I was almost certain our neighbors could have heard him. I said I was going to call the police or his mom, he told me if I did any of those he would most certainly get a divorce and retreated to the garage. So I did not do anything, because I did not want the divorce. But I did take any guns out of the garage and stay up until about 5:00 am to make sure nothing happened to him. He left the home that morning went to work and that was the last day he stayed at the house. Then a few days later, after I am asking him to come back home, apologizing trying to figure out what happened we had an angry phone call for about two hours. All he did was yell horrible things, called me names. Not something he would do. He said things that didn’t make sense to me at all. He was bringing up situations that either didn’t exist or made absolutely no sense to our conversation. Kept telling me people are flirting with him and he’s going to cheat on me if I didn’t have sex with him three times a week. So within a 10 day period from our first fight, he filed for divorce at the end of July. After that we didn’t have any communication for about 2-3 weeks. In August, I asked him to go to a marriage retreat in Colorado with me. After sometime, he agreed, but then backup out claiming it was too much money. So then I asked him to go to local marriage counseling with me. He was telling his mother he wanted to go to counseling, but just wanted a therapist present so we did not argue. I gave the option for local counseling and he told me he would consider going to marriage counseling, but he still felt betrayed from a fight we had back in April. Our fight in April was I had said some things to him out of anger and frustration, the wine did not help either which was out of character for me. I was angry and said a few things to him and I am not an angry person. But I apologized and we moved forward, at least I thought. While he still had not let me know his decision regarding marriage counseling, I was informed about him being on a dating website saying he was already divorced, had no pets and did not do any drugs and undecided about kids, but that was one of the main reasons he left. His whole profile seem like a complete lie. I was like who is this person. He absolutely loved his dogs and now threw them away like nothing. Threw me away like I was nothing. And didn’t even try to attempt to save the marriage. And now he is on more than one dating site. This in 4 1/2 months after he left; he is like a completely different person. Left the house and all his responsibilities and has not been back. I have not seen him in 4 1/2 months and had very little contact with him and at this point I do not want any contact with him. Doing all kinds of stuff now as if the grass is greener syndrome.Is this bipolar, Adderall or addiction behavior? Before, he always like to just hang “chill” at the house. Once on Adderall he just isolated himself to the garage and got high all the time. I would argued with him about how he was not present in the house always getting high in the garage and always on his phone. Did not really hang out with his friends almost seemed annoyed at times when they asked him to do something and just did not really want to do much. He would often get anxiety which really became very noticeable with Adderall. Before Adderall, he loved watching TV did not really care to listen to music. After Adderall, hated TV and all of a sudden loved the Grateful Dead. He never wanted to do much just like to relax and now he is ambitious and all over the place. Signed up for Snapchat the week after he left and a few weeks later deleted his Facebook and he was always posting on Facebook prior to our fight. I was thought about divorce back in November because it was just getting very tiring. I was so tried of the rants, but decided on marriage counseling instead. We attend 3 times and never got to any issues before he wanted to stop and we decided to try to continue in the fall. I know there was a part of me that was not happy about this, but since he went and said he would continue in the fall I agreed. I did want him to go talk to someone on his own about some coping skills. He said he did not want to take any pills and that is what they will give him. This didn’t make much sense. If someone can help you with medication, why would you not take it. Maybe because he knew his daily cocktail was going to be the issue, and he didn’t want to be told he could no longer do those things. Maybe the fear of being sober. The sad thing is he probably will never hit rock bottom, because he will never lose his job and doesn’t have to worry financially because of his family and he works for his family’s company. He has even displayed angry behavior at work which most people would get fired over. Is it possible that this is a manic episode since his Mom and Grandfather both has/had bipolar? Or the Adderall and bipolar, or a mixture of everything has brought this on? From what I have read if someone has bipolar and taking Adderall or any stimulant, it can increase the risk of mania if medications are not monitored. His personality did change a lot in a year and a half. Now that I am reading about bipolar manic symptoms some of the things that he has always said was he was going to move away; he’d say that he hated his job and wanted to quit, but he could not quit because the place would fall down without him. He needs a change and people are flirting with him now. This was all very confusing to me. Instead of having kids now, I am getting a divorce trying to figure what happened. It is probably best that I did not end up pregnant and I know I would have taken on most of the responsibility. It just is very shocking and hurtful when it is all of a sudden gone. I spent 14 years with him and have forgiven and rebuilt trust on many occasions, and now he is gone. I know it is probably better, but just does not help much right now. My heart has not caught up with my mind yet. Everything is still raw with the pain of losing a person you loved so much. My future was just ripped out under me. I was really trying so hard to get us to marriage counseling because this could have been easily worked out and we really could have acquired new skills of interacting. I just keep wondering if his mindset was completely clear would he still want this? He has completely cut me and all his responsibilities out of his life. He took all his clothes and hasn’t been back since August 1. In a July email at the beginning of all of this, said he would come by once a week to mow and do anything other that I asked by only wanted to talk about the divorce. I haven’t asked him to do anything. Said he would care for his dogs financially and wanted a relationship with them in the future, but no on his dating profile he no longer has any. Has not asked about them or anything else and he absolutely loved his dogs. His parents were trying to help us get to counseling and whatever would come of the session there was at least an attempt to save the marriage. He never told me that he did not want to do counseling, just told me he needed time to think. How can you just forget and get over 14 years with someone in like 9–10 weeks and go on a dating website? Once I found him on the dating websites I told him I was done. I have not seen him in 4 1/2 months and I only talked to him once on the phone in August. Other than that just sparatic emails or texts about the divorce. I haven’t heard from him in a month now. Any time we ever had a serious adult discussion, it would blow up for no reason. He would say things like if something didn’t change he would be single. This would come from an adult conversation about putting money in the bank. He acted more and more like this after Addreall. Before Adderall, we went like 6 years and barley fought, after Adderall it was a lot. I had lengthy discussions with my therapist about the behavior displayed, and the rants. Her comment was it sounded like he sound like an addict that was bullying me. My Therapist he could be addiction, and bipolar or it could be something else like Borderline personality disorder, but until he got completely sober and off everything he really could not be diagnosed. He has treated me very cold and with such disdain and I never once in a million years would have saw this from him.
  3. My husband and I have had our share of marriage issues but in the scheme of things I think they were normal issues that could be worked through. Also, due to his parents divorce, he always said that he would never do that to his family. Over the past several years, his mood swings & anger have increased but I thought it was due to PTSD (he is a military veteran). But...recently, he has decided that our marriage was awful the entire time, that I controlled him and never listen to his opinions and that basically I have done the worst things I could possibly do to him. He decided that he is done with our marriage and wants a divorce. It's like he has built up this hate for me due to feeling that way about our relationship but it's not the reality of how things really were. Yes, we had issues but everything he believes (including his emotions) are very elevated. Since he decided that he wants to leave he has shown some pretty erratic, paranoid behavior and has written down some pretty scary things...almost like a manic episode. He also lies SO easily and its like de doesn't realize he's doing it. It is like he has become a different person. Unfortunately, he only behaves that way towards me so family & friends have no idea this is happening but he is starting to show the behavior to a few other people now. In the middle of all of this I found out that he has been taking prescribed adderall for about 3 years. As far as I know it is not for ADHD but I am not really sure why it was prescribed. I think it may have been along with an anti-depressant to balance things out. I feel like I am married to someone that I don't even know. His behavior right now is just not him at all and ending our marriage with no willingness to work on it (even if for the kids) is just not the guy I know. He has even started another relationship which I just really think is not him. Of course he basically 'hates' me now so will not take any advice from me. Does anyone have experience with it causing this type of behavior related to adderall? It is possible that the behavior is not related to the drug but after researching it and bit and talking with my doctor, it seems that it is possible.
  4. Ladies, please help!

    I am working on a relationship book. I need some input from the ladies out there. This is not a man bashing post, so please be decent. I need your top relationship issue. Just a quick description of what is your biggest issue with your boyfriend/spouse/partner. For example: "I have a full time job, and I have to do all of the housework." I appreciate the input. Guys, feel free to comment. I appreciate your point of view as well. This book will not be about how terrible men are...don't worry.