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  1. Trying to make it through PAW

    Hey all, This is my first post here, and my brain is mush, so please forgive any mistakes or confusing text. I quit Adderall back in July after it put me in the ER for the third time since I had began taking it. I was only on it for about a year and a half but somehow worked my way up to the maximum dosage, which is 60 mg daily here. I often took more than that though. Fast forward about three months and I feel worse off now than I did back when I first quit. My depression has increased, my focus is garbage, and I've already gained at least 20 pounds. Financially I'm still fucked and I also may not pass the 5 credit hours required this semester for me to graduate. I have very little motivation or will to do anything, and when I do it is caffeine induced and very short lived. I keep making the same mistakes that I did while I was strung out. Last week I found myself desperately searching my home for any pills that may have been lost. I often think that I'm so miserable without it, that I may as well be on it and at least somewhat enjoy my misery. Illogical thinking, I know. I made an upcoming doctor's appointment to talk about the withdrawals and a possible increase on my antidepressant. I've tried asking her about non-stimulant meds for my adhd before, but she said the only option there was is something I cannot afford due to my lack of insurance and little income. I'm going to ask again and see if anything has changed. In the meantime, does anyone have any experience with PAW they would like to share? This is my first time speaking to others who've gone through this. I appreciate anything that anyone has to say, just please be nice.