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Found 2 results

  1. Beginning of the end

    Hi guys, I've been lurking on the forum for a couple of weeks now I've gathered enough motivation to call it off for good. Like many of us here, my dex (Australian version of adderall) use is closely tied to academic performance. I'm actually completing my last 2 subjects of my bachelors degree and my final exam is in a week! I have been using stimulants for school-work since 16, so this is a huge jump after 5 years of use. Prior to stimulants, I was a disorganised, unmotivated mess who did everything last minute. I'm still the same person. The delusion of dex-fuelled efficiency is well and truly over. *sigh* I thought I'd post this to hold myself accountable throughout this journey. I was committed to quitting two days ago, when I took 7.5mg IR and did shit all. All I felt was a stiff neck and regret. Yesterday, I had an insanely productive dex-free day using the pomodoro method. I made my way through 2.5 hours of lectures!!! I was driven out of pure spite for the drug and being fed-up with having no faith in myself - its a miserable way of life even with stims. The day before (on meds), I only made it through half a lecture. Then, this morning, I got through one horrendously boring lecture and caved around 2pm because I had some serious brain fog. The meds didn't take away the brain fog and actually added a couple of unwanted symptoms. So, I've decided today's dose is my last. This decision is scary and difficult, but I'm kinda nervous-excited for whats ahead. I'm only in my early 20's and these meds have ruined my body. I have cellulite all over my legs like a 60 year old lady. I'm pale and have chronic neck, back and jaw issues. I'm ready to pursuit my health, wellbeing and self-efficacy - all things that were stunted when I started taking meds at 16. I'm determined to start off positive. I've found myself laughing a lot more on my days off meds (something I previously didn't do) - particularly about how comically BORING tasks are. Like jeez, how the fuck did I ever watch 6 lectures in a day and not want to die? As I've decided to do this a week before the end of my degree, I've spent a lot of time reading into productivity tips on this site and elsewhere. If anyone needs some anti-procrastination info, I highly recommend this blog series by WaitbutWhy https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html Lets do this!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. this is so hard

    -I've used a LOT of adderall ever since I began attending law school over a decade ago. I heard of other students taking it to get and stay ahead in a highly competitive environment, so I jumped on that band wagon. Since then, I have had periods where I have stopped taking it. About three and a half years ago, I went through a really bad break up and changed jobs. I got back on Adderall. At first it helped tremendously with my mood, losing weight, being able to work and not think about my broken heart. About six months ago, however, I began burning through my perscriptions really, really fast. Like two weeks early. And then I would be in withdrawal til the next script day--which was like Christmas. But even with those scripts, the first couple of days would be good and productive, but more and more, i felt less and less like I did anything besides sit around and think. So, eventually, when I had burned through a script really fast, I decided not to keep taking them--figuring that the worst of withdrawal was over and they had become counter productive anyway. For several weeks I did feel like I had a new lease on life. Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, shopping, household projects were all fun and I was doing them all because it just felt good too--not because I was in absolute dire straights to get them done for the first time in i can't remember how long. But that feeling seems to have worn off too. now I just feel tired, and a lot of anxiety. I know it is work related, but it is so hard for me to get any work done. It's been about 30 days since I quit. I also used to be a big pilates buff and I cannot even seem to get the easiest workouts completed, but when I feel that anxiety I try really hard to exercise to help relieve it. I'm glad I'm not living on adderall, but I still feel miserable. How can i get myself into good work habits? how can i get myself in to good eating/exercise habbits? how can i manage this anxiety/depression? thanks all for listening.