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Found 38 results

  1. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience: my entire life I bit my fingernails without being able to ever kick the habit (tried really hard too!), then during my adderall/Ritalin years I stopped biting completely without even realizing it. On adderall, I never had the urge to bite them. It's always about 1-2 weeks after taking my last pill that the nail biting starts again. And obviously it's not as easy as just saying "hey self, don't bite your nails" otherwise nobody would bite their nails in the first place. Have you had similar quirks or habits? Any advice for how to not start biting my nails again this time around? So far I'm just on a general will power/ rewards system (there's a manicure in my future.) And anyone know why this is? This compulsive habit magically stops on adderall, but adderall isn't a good solution. Thanks!
  2. Offically cutting the cord

    So I just sent an email to my psych to tell her that I am discontinuing adderall. I've tried to ask to stop in the past but when I am in the room with her I just tense up and accept an up in dose or whatever she wants to try. I didn't get into specifics or the extent to my use but I am hoping this is going to be the end of this hell that taking adderall for the last couple years has sent me to.I wouldn't get to see her for a few months in person so the most immediate way to do this just seemed to be by email which is better because I actually don't think I could have said it to her face. Every time I'd use all my supply I would count the days until I could order another refill even if I was happier being off the adderall which is the most defeating part of all this. I am hoping that since my psych is aware that I am going to stop she will either make it impossible to submit a refill request or she'd simply decline it if I broke down and tried to get another refill later this month. I've taken my month's supply in 3-4 days and I am just about out of pills and I know when I am off adderall I will try to convince myself that I can control myself the next refill. I'll probably tell myself lies about why it's helpful and just ignore the negative side of this drug. Anyways, I don't have anyone who I can talk to especially about this subject, so that's why I'm even posting this. Hoping for the best from this moment forward
  3. How did I get to this point?

    Hey guys...here's my introduction and battle with Adderall for anyone who cares to read. Sorry in advance for the long post. First time I took Adderall was like the other 98% of you all...in college trying to studying for finals haha. I tried it for the first time my junior year during finals week, but didn't like how it made me feel or the appetite suppression. It did make me perform academic tasks with ease...however the cons outweighed the "pros" to me at the time. I was a Top 15 Division 1 athlete then so the heart racing and whole not eating thing would have been detrimental...plus at the time, I didn't think this was a miracle drug or anything that I actually needed in my life. After my senior year I decided I no longer wanted to pursue a Professional career playing my sport (biggest mistake of my life) so I started Grad School shortly after. I had a roommate at the time who took adderall to study so I would take some of his here and there for a big test or a full day of studying. A few months into school I decided to get my own script, which was easily obtained, and there you have it...I had my first Adderall prescription, 20 mg IR. Throughout school, I never took more than 10 mg at a time and no more than 2-3x a week as I was still very physically active and did not feel the need to take it often. I would take frequent breaks or hiatuses...a months prescription would easily last me 2 months. This lasted about 2 years. Fast forward to beginnig of 2015, this is when the potential abuse started to manifest itself. At the time I was not happy where I was at career-wise and felt like I kept fucking things up. This is when I Got my script changed to 30mg IR...and took it almost daily, taking weekend breaks. I was very physically active at this time, and actually in the best shape of my life, working out actually was the only thing that allowed control over my usage. A few months later.... I started my own business and would occasionally take 45-60mg on days that "I had a lot to do". Over halfway into the year, I got an amazing work opportunity and left the country for 60 days. I wanted to focus on my physical fitness on my downtime, so I left the Adderall at home and went 60 days without it no problem. I thought that would be the end of it, I was no longer in school....I didn't really NEED it anymore, right? Wrong...I was so very wrong. I remember the first time I took quadruple my prescribed dose, January 2016. A few days before, I had been informed my Father had been air lifted to the ER because he had been in septic shock and was currently in ICU. I work in Emergency Medicine so I know more than the average individual about how serious his circumstance is. There was a point where his outcome was uncertain. And that's the day I took 120 mg of Adderall, immersed myself into my work, and tried to forget what was actually happening in my world. I felt awful the next day. I didn't sleep at all the night before (a first for me) and for the first time, I felt like a fucking crack head junkie piece of shit. I was sweaty, jittery, anxious, paranoid, and beyond sad at the thought of possibly losing my Father. I was so disgusted with myself and how I felt, I told myself I would never take that high of a dose again. I took a break from the Adderall for a few days, but that was about it. My Father ended up pulling through, and got out of the hospital a few weeks later and is as healthy as can be to this day. A few weeks later, I resumed my daily Adderall intake, but this time with a vengeance. I was trying to start up my own business in my spare time, so I started taking 60-80mg daily. I was no longer physically active at this time, as I wasn't eating or sleeping enough to have the energy for it. Some days I would take upwards of 100mg. It became my norm, and a months prescription would last 10 days at best. When I'd run out, I would crash HARD. Sleeping all day, no energy or motivation to do anything, except eat a LOT of fucking unhealthy food. This lasted probably 7-8 months before I finally broke down and realized I was addicted and was abusing the shit out of this drug. I couldn't believe it...me, ME?! I used to not even give a fuck about Adderall. I've been prescribe for years and always took HALF my prescribed dose for years. This couldn't happen to me, I can't be an addict. I was a collegiate athlete, I was supposed to go to the fucking Pros... I felt god awful....I couldn't get out of bed, I was depressed as hell, I had slowly cut out my family and friends for months, had been a piece of dick shit to my wonderful girlfriend for god knows how long....and was just realizing it. I no longer had hobbies,I just...was. My career took a downward spiral, my once successful startup now was going downhill....what the fuck happened to my life? And here I am today...I've tried to quit twice unsuccessfully. First time lasted a month. The second time lasted 2 months and I was starting to feel great. So I figured I could take it more responsibly this time around. Wrong again. While I don't take any after 3 PM so that I can sleep, and have stuck true to that, I still take around 50-70 mg and my script runs out in 2 weeks. I guess it's a small improvement but not really. I should have never taken it again. I'm still having a very hard time coming to turns with "being an addict"...I haven't admitted it to anyone except my girlfriend and I casually told my best friend that I "abused it once". But that's it. I don't know how to ACTUALLY quit. I feel like I need it, but I know I don't. I just wish I was back to my old self. The me who enjoys working out and cooking and music and going out and having fun. I miss the me who had genuine hobbies and interests, not this Adderall fueled bullshit version of me Anyways, for anyone who actually managed to read my incessantly long rant, I appreciate it and appreciate any words of advice anyone has for me. Thanks.
  4. Addict or just a junkie?

    Adderall is the only drug that I find myself drawn to and ever since getting my scrip I've gradually increased the amount I am taking from 20mg IR a day to two years later clocking in 150mg or so every day. Now days I find myself binging over the course a week once I get my refill (this is the third day of my binge and already through 2/3 of my month's supply. Next three weeks I am sober and have good and bad days but over the last few months I've realized I don't even feel withdrawls other than hunger. I think this cycle of on and off usage for so long has made me numb to the shitiness of detoxing which i guess is kinda nice in a way but here's my question for y'all because idk if I am just overthinking my use and blowing things out of proprtion. Sometimes I just get too in my own head that i get psyched out. How can you know if you're an addict that needs professional help/therapy and not just a person that likes taking drugs? When I'm binging I feel like a full blown out of control addict but when I am taking the rest of the month off the pills I don't really feel the need to seek other drugs for the high. In fact I feel miserable right now and I am on a lot of addy as I write this as some might be able to tell by my rambling. Idk I think subconsciously I just want someone to tell me what my fucking problem is because I'm so different on these pills and I don't even like who I am when I am taking them but I still order that refill every month with another excuse like using it in moderation (LOL) to curb my appetaite or to get a lot of school work done. More often than not anymore I'm more distracted on addy than not, I rush through school work not really learning I don't think, and sorry if this is too crude but a lot of the times I just masturbate for hours on adderall for no reason at all. So it just seems like I am not gaining ANYTHING from this medicine. My reason for taking it this weekend was because I was kinda behind in school and I am caught up now, but at what cost? I've isolated myself from my family staying in my room all day long, I've skipped classes since getting my refill, flaked on friends, go to work tweaked out and just get so fucking sweaty at work it's so embarrassing. Okay sorry for the going off on tangents so thanks for reading if you made it this far through this shit. I'd just really appreciate another person's two cents on this situation. I don't have anyone that knows the extend to this problem nor do I have friends or family that I am all that close to. I just feel so alone right now. I can't decide if i'm just hopeless or not. Any advice or anything would make my day a lot better. Okay, later. PS If it means anything, I am a 21 years old guy.
  5. Week 1

    Im 9 days without adderall. Week 1 was good, I was still motivated and happy to have myself back. But now I just feel tired and disconnected. I just want to be in bed all day and sleep. I have been having disassociation with my friends and the people I surround myself with. I get annoyed easily if people are talking about themselves too much or bias. I dont know why? I also just wonder off in conversation frequently and come off as rude. Did anyone else feel this way when quitting?
  6. Hi, I have been lurking around here for a while and truly don't know what I would have done without this resource - it's been a tremendous help to me...so thank you! Just wanted to share my story and hope that it might inspire others in their own journey, but also help me to get my thoughts out on paper as I go through this journey myself. I started taking Adderall in college -- only to get through final exams or pull an occasional all-nighter -- never had a prescription. When I first took it, I thought it was a complete miracle worker, a game changer if you will. My best friend and I wondered how we hadn't heard of this before...Look how much more "efficient" and "smarter" we would be if we took it all the time. Everything seemed fascinating to us - even the most boring of subjects - and there were a lot of them in college, trust me! We were appreciating things and topics we never cared about before...and had this crazy desire to learn about them. I was hooked. After graduating college in 2005 and going out into the "real world," I decided I had to get a prescription so I could truly excel at work. I was brought up in a family that was very driven (mostly my dad), and he was always (and is still) so proud of my accomplishments...always telling me what a hard worker I am and how proud he is of me. I never wanted to disappoint him (and still don't to this day, as I admire him deeply and care for him so very much). Needless to say, getting a script didn't take long and the process was so simple. In the first five years or so, I was able to take the medication as prescribed and didn't feel super dependent on it. Of course, it helped me tremendously in my day job and at home with chores and keeping everything tidy and in order, but I never felt the "urge" that I needed to take more and never ran out before my script could be refilled. At this time, I was managing it just fine in my mind. That all changed a few years ago. I started to become obsessive about it. I would do the same thing every month...Tell myself that I'm going to stick to my prescribed dosage (doctors orders)! Ha...That was so naive looking back. When I got down to a few pills left, I'd become truly obsessive and wonder if my doctor would fill my script a few days early. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't. And sometimes pharmacies wouldn't fill it earlier so I'd work to find another that would. It was a truly vicious cycle. In 2012, I met the man of my dreams (sometime after a really bad relationship of 7.5 years that was filled with a lot of verbal abuse from him), so finding the love of my life brought a lot of things into a new light and gave me a new perspective. And of all things, I surely didn't want to hide anything from that person I loved so much, but I also didn't want him to not love me -- or think less of me -- because maybe, just maybe, what if I wasn't the person he thought I was after this awful medication I was taking? I was completely open with him about my "ADD" and he was aware of my prescription (and could tell in a heartbeat whether I had taken it or not). And if I hadn't taken it, it was because I had run out and he'd just shake his head and wonder how I could already be out with a whole week left. And he knew I'd be an entirely different person (unfocused, hard to get out of the bed in the morning, barely able to function, often complained about how tired and unmotivated I was that day and if it was the weekend...oh boy, I struggled to complete the most basic tasks or chores around the house). But when I did take it, I was damn-near superwoman (or so I thought). I'd spend hours organizing the spice cabinet (alphabetical order, of course), cleaning out the closet (honestly, looking back, I never got the MAIN, IMPORTANT things done that needed to be done around the house - the countless loads of laundry, clean bathrooms, the basic household chores that needed to be done, I was so focused on the tiniest things, but in my mind, I was organizing the HELL out of our house). After getting married in July 2016, a beautiful destination wedding where I was at my skinniest -- a sick 89 lbs, and I thought I looked fantastic! (yep, you can thank Adderall, and a dash of obligatory wedding stress for that one -- that comes with the territory, right? But here I was, I thought I was on top of the world. Even though I had many friends and family members telling me I was "too skinny," in my mind, I didn't care. I always struggled in my younger years to attain a perfect weight (in my mind), and in my mind, I HAD. Shortly after we returned from the wedding and back to reality in Texas, I was also starting a new job and couldn't wait to start fresh. Still taking my medication daily, but always feeling like I needed to increase my dosage and never feeling like I was getting the same effect I used to get. I told my doctor and she said I was at the highest dosage possible (20 mg IR, 3x a day) and told me to take breaks on the weekend. BREAKS? But how would I get my household chores done?! "You have to," she said. Well, I didn't listen to her. I had too much on my plate and there wasn't time for any "breaks." However, because I never gave my body a rest and was completely wearing down my body, heart and soul, the after-effects weren't pretty. I was completely on-edge all the time, my husband telling me I always looked so serious and I needed to lighten up (I'd hear this from former colleagues at my old job, too - people saying I always looked SO serious). Even at work - my current job, my work was suffering -- I was too focused concentrating on the small tasks - trying to perfect them and be an utter perfectionist about literally everything to the point where I was missing deadlines and my boss telling me I need to work on my "project management" skills. That was a punch in the gut, and I find myself still trying to bounce back from that criticism. I never considered myself a religious person. My parents raised my sister and I to believe whatever we wanted - never forced religion on us or going to church. However, within the last few months I have completely given my life over to God. I never knew what that meant, never had that desire. Until I finally snapped out of it. And now, it's what I depend on to get me through this, to get me out of bed every morning. I have faith I can get through this - with God, my husband, my dogs (and for right now, endless amounts of coffee). It's funny because yesterday when I was texting my husband at work (the even funnier thing is (*sarcasm*) I'd never do that before - there wasn't time to text during work hours or check my personal phone! I had to WORK every single minute of the day - there wasn't time for occasionally checking my FB or Instagram or texts from friends...or eating lunch)...or so I desperately believed. But when I texted him yesterday some playful texts he said "you are a lot funnier off Adderall btw." That made me heart sink - but also made me smile. I felt like slowly, (and definitely slowly as I'm only on day 9), I'm starting to feel actual feelings again. I want to get home to my husband - not spend hours stuck at the office. I want to finish my work so I can go home and spend time with him, cook dinner, play with my dogs, go for a walk, read a book - which I have found to be extremely helpful so far. Just a quick walk with the dogs to get some fresh air or reading a book to get my mind off things, has truly helped. Since my job requires writing (my absolute passion in life), you can imagine how hard it's been at work. I love what Mike said on this site in a post I read about "half-assing" your way through the workday, just turn in things that you would never turn in on Adderall. Well I've done that, and yesterday, something I submitted that IMO was so shitty, and I told my husband that, but I didn't care, I was gone at 5 p.m. and headed home to take care of myself. And my boss emailed late last night in response to that piece and said "This is great. I made minor edits." Y'all, I was over the moon. Granted, this wasn't my most prized piece, but I felt pretty damn proud of myself. I know I have a long road ahead, but it's stories like yours that keep me going. I wish you all the best in your road to recovery...and finding your true self. It's not easy, but then again, if it was easy everyone would be doing it, right? Well wishes to all! - Somewhere down in Texas -
  7. Only Two Pills Left

    I am not able to see my physician until June. My toes, hands, (occasionally) crotch have been having the cold sweats. Is it my body telling me to stop? I look inside my medication bottle everyday and see the amount decreasing. Little orange pills leaving. I've decrease my dosage over the past months from 30mg to 15mg a day. Now I should be doing 10mg a day because I look inside my pill bottle and there are only two pills left.
  8. Hello folks here on the Quiting Adderall forum. My name is Will Hoppin, I am 17 and live in the SF Bay Area (Marin County specifically). I'm currently making a documentary on Adderall use among my peers in high school because the demand for teenagers to focus and achieve is higher than it ever has been -- there is so much competition now. I've already interviewed a few of my friends who are taking it and now I'm looking to interview a couple of people who've been taking it for a number of years -- in particular people who've stopped taking it, or are trying to quit. The film needs to show the contrast between teens who feel that it's a harmless performance enhancer, and adults who have more insight and experience about how serious a pharmaceutical it really is. I don't have to tell anyone here on this forum how pervasive the Adderall issue is in society right now. (!) My hope is that together, we can shine some light on the subject and raise consciousness about it. Thank you for considering it, and if you'd like to get involved (or know anyone who might like to get involved) and see some interview snippets of what I've already shot, please contact me. My email is willhoppin2@gmail.com. With gratitude for all, Will
  9. First of all, thank you SOOOO much for this site. I have been trying to get off Adderall for a couple of years now and reading through this site tonight gave me the courage to flush my pills. Pointed question: My biggest problem is that my digestive system seems to be very dependent on Adderall and my body doesn't remember how to go to the bathroom/eliminate without it and this leads to a terrible pattern. Does anyone know how to deal with this aspect of getting off adderall or no of anything else that functions like adderall as a stimulant for the digestive system? I've taken Adderall for 5 years now, daily in the beginning. When I'm on Adderall I completely empty my bowels 2-3 times a day. When I stop taking Adderall I'll suddenly go 3-4 days without going to the bathroom at all, which is a huge difference and feels terrible. I start feeling very sick and start getting scared. My stomach completely bloats (and I look terrible/clothes don't fit) and I feel very uncomfortable physically. I've even experienced bleeding. After about the 3rd or 4th day I end up thinking, "I'll take just one to go to the bathroom," and after taking a pill, 30 minutes later I'm fine again. I take a couple of doses in a row to go back to an empty, flat stomach. Then I stop taking it, go through all the crash/withdrawal difficulties of the first 2-3 days (sleeping 12 hours a day/wanting to eat 5 pizzas/moodiness/irritability/inability to concentrate on anything at work and watching youtube videos instead) and once all that starts to get better on the 3rd day, by the 4th day I end up taking Adderall to go to the bathroom and have to start the crash/withdrawal cycle again. This cycle is taking a toll on me and I want to just get off it. I feel like I've tried just about everything and there's nothing that gets my digestive system function as perfectly as Adderall. I never had issues going to the bathroom before Adderall. When I got off it the first time (lasted 4 months) I saw my doctor about the digestive issue. He said it's a high stimulant and now my body was used to that stimulation to function and the only solution was give it time and he suggested Senna tea in the meantime which just made my stomach hurt. I ended up doing a juice cleanse which resulted in being able to go to the bathroom once a day, but my digestive system never fully went back to functioning properly. I even tried going vegan for awhile and that didn't get me back to normal either. I got a new tough job after 4 months of being clean and went back to the Adderall. This time around the digestive system issue seems to be even worse than the first time I tried to get off and I haven't been able to go more than 4 days without (though now I will have to since I flushed the pills). I get so hungry during the first few days off that doing a juice cleanse feels like more than I can take on. Thank you so much for any help and suggestions for this. Again, this site is amazing and I'm so glad I found it.
  10. On and off and ONNN =(

    Hey everyone. I will try to keep this short..and also first and foremost I am so THANKFUL for this site..cheers to Mike and anyone/everyone that helps moderate and help on this site/forums on all levels. And a big applause to all that come on here and open up, because it does take nerve and cojones and what have ya! Addy was first given to me by a co worker over ten years ago. I really didnt know much about it, she had a prescription to it and broke it down what it does to you if you are not prescribed. She gives me one.. I pop it ..WOWW! I think we proceeded to go on a bar hop spree after that ....when i tried it again and saw how productive I can be on it I would try and squirrel some from whomever i heard that had. Over the years i would have access to it here and there but never daily. I would manage to score a few pills...stretch them out for however long and be pretty ok afterwards. I have experimented with drugs and other pills and HAVE liked/enjoyed them but i never got hooked to anything. I could always check myself if i even went a tad overboard with anything (drinking, smoking pot, coke). Not an issue.... Fast forward to a year ago... I started a new job and have a supplier that i met recently before i started the job. I thought i d get a few to "enhance" my performance (its a fairly physical job doing visuals at a big dept store, running back and forth up and down all day). Well its been a year of nearly buying almost every week and taking nearly every day, my dumbass even decided to take it while on vacation with my mom to have more "pep" in my step. Every other week i have kept telling myself i would slowly weed off.. and then it turns to "next week" and the "next".. i have managed about two week periods without it.. like many of you say the first day or two SUCK but then things felt pretty ok,not GREAT but making it. But then i know i have a crazy overnight shift coming, or my apartment needs a massive cleaning and lo and behold i would go get some more. I have told a few of my nearest and dearest of my situation and they have been super supportive and helpful..TRULY THANKFUL for that. I gotta get off this vicious cycle of "ok next week i ll weeed off and .." =( I recently decided to put in my 2 week notice at the job but kind of stay on freelance so i can just calm down and not "feel" the need for it..yepp it got to that point for me...i live in NYC but i cant run the same speed anymore, i need to get me a more chill gig that wont make me feel i have to be "extra on " to get things done.
  11. So it all started a month ago, where I was so stressed out on handling school after five years of being out, living on my own, and holding a full time job. Where, I absent minded finding the girl who's known for her addy use, to buy some. I don't know what came over me, messaging her...meeting her, and getting some from her for the first time..but it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.. Now before I continue my current situation i'll give you some background info...I guess in total I dabbled in all sorts of drugs for about seven years? I'm 22 so that should tell you that I was living like I was 21 when I was 16. Amps were always my favorite though, I was addicted to meth for about two years, and my boyfriend actually dove in with me, to get me out..didn't end well..but we're both clean from that. In fact, up until a month ago all I was doing was smoking weed, and I hardly did that just because it gets in the way of school and makes me to anxious. Now I did addy before when I was slowly getting into meth. But not how i'm abusing it now. I dont won't do it at work, because as many of you know once you do something on this drug, its never as fun as sober. I really wish I didnt go to school on it. So just on my days off...so 2 days out of the week for the last month. I lost count on how many mgs ive done. To get to my title topic, my boyfriend is strictly straight edge now... except for the occasional drink,which i'm very proud of him, even stopped smoking weed for his job. I feel loads of guilt eating up in me...i've been keeping my use a secret even from my friends. No one knows but that girl. I love my boyfriend so much, but sometimes he's really controlling, and me keeping this from him makes me feel a little dangerous if that makes sense? It's something he can't control...But if he ever found out...I don't want to think about what would happen... Sorry i'm rambling... I finished off the last of my stash (40 mgs)... the reason i'm posting is I think I need to quit before this gets out of hand? But I don't know how... I don't know when... I love railing them...just the motion, and prepping. I know its really bad for you, and its a waste but I just can't seem to stop. I've developed a habit, when its my weekend and my boyfriend leaves for work at 5 am, I get up..turn on full house ( ) and start cutting up my pill...I love how I can get the house clean, study and even getting ready, even the process of doing my make-up is great. Long story short, I just cant get over it... but I need to, I hate how i'm doing this to the guy I love, and probably marry. I'm starting to get huge headaches, i'm smoking more weed then I want to, just to handle the comedown... Any tips? Advice? * sorry this is my first post, and I just skimmed the rules...so I don't know if I was suppose to talk about triggering details...
  12. Howdy Howdy, Although this is my first post ever here on the forums, I have read hundreds of posts for the past few years from members who are, like me, trying to quit Adderall for good. After taking a high dosage of amphetamines every single day for the past 8 years, I am proud to say that I am currently 77 days stimulant free.. My senior year of college is starting in a month, and I am, without a doubt, terrified about how I am going to preform in school without my crutch. Take note that this is the first time I have written anything stimulant free since I was in Middle school, so please don't judge my grammatical errors and sentence scrambled run-ons. Here is my story in a nutshell.. thanks for reading. This is really important to me. I started taking Adderall in ninth grade due to a recommendation from a doctor. Looking back now, I do not think at the time I actually had ADHD (for those who think the diagnosis actually exists), but I was highly depressed, and just didn't fit in at High School (which I didn't realize was totally normal). I had just picked up smoking weed too, which dramatically decreased my motivation. Like everyone else who has been addicted in the past, throughout High School my parents and I both thought Adderall was a wonder drug. I was a state-champ wrestler with a smoking hot girlfriend and a 4.0. The first few years of college was no different, as of the 100 some credits I have already completed I have only had a couple B's and the rest A's. About a year and a half ago is when my insomnia really started kicking in. It really is no wonder why, as at the time, I was taking around 30-60mg IR Adderall, and drinking a pot of coffee everyday. At nights I would down a 5th of vodka to help me sleep. Although I was literally killing my body, I still pushed on to have soaring high grades, and had an overall pretty good life. About three month ago is when my heart started hurting. One night I was sitting at my girlfriends cramming for an advanced Trig test. Taking a break, I went outside, popped a 10mg IE Addy and puffed on a blunt. I have done this so many times in the past it was no big deal. All of a sudden I felt like my heart was going to burst. I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die in her back yard. This was the first time, EVER, that I felt the stimulants take an effect on my heart.. Although I have WANTED to quit for the past few years, this was the first time ever where I put my foot down and said no more. I had to quit or I was going to die. I had no other choice. After I got done with finals the following week I threw my bottle of Adderall down the toilet and called it quits. My heart ached bad every day for the next month or so even though I was not on prescription pills. However, eventually, it started feeling better. Currently it only aches when I go on a hard run, but I still think it is gradually improving. This summer I have completely ditched the bottle, the weed, the coffee, and the Adderall. This is the first time since Middle School I am entirely sober. I never thought this was possible. So here we are... Next month school starts. I am fucking TERRIFIED about diving into my senior year Adderall free. The last time I read a book not on stimulants was in Middle School. How the HELL am I supposed to achieve top grades without the crutch I have relied on for so many years? How am I going to be successful? I feel fine without the drug, but my brain is, to say the least, foggy (as I am sure so many of you have experienced). I am a server, and before quitting I was able to take the order of 8 people without writing down a single thing, and as of now I have to write everything down and repeat it multiple times. The only reason I quit in the first place was because of my health. I don't want to die early. I don't want to have a heart attack. Even with Adderall I found an amazing fiancé and was all around happy. But I have to quit, for my heart and for my future family. I just need advise about school. How am I supposed to achieve anything without the crutch that has held me up since Middle School? I've thought about being prescribed a super low dosage for studying, but I know that ultimately it will only cause my addiction to soar again. Thanks for reading. And I look forward to becoming an active member in the forums.
  13. History - short version - want to keep the post manageable: I have been taking Adderall since I was 15, I'm 32 now, so that's 17 years of being on it. I quit last year for 7 months, and I was depressed, gained 40 lbs, was completely unmotivated and slept all day long. I quit for the wrong reasons last year and now I'm ready to get off of it again. After 7 months of being stimulant free, I got on Modafinil for a year. In the last 6 weeks, I got back on Adderall. The results are tragic, I started taking more than prescribed again. I am trying to understand the mechanisms of quitting and if tapering might be better and have more success in the long term. If anyone has done research before and has links to studies, I would greatly appreciate if if you could share it. I'm doing my own research, but all the help is appreciated. I have a few science type questions: 1. How long does it take for the dopamine or neurotransmitters in general to replenish once they have been depleted because of Adderall? Is serotonin affected too or is it just dopamine, norepinephrine, epinephrine? 2. Will the body adjust itself to the amount of dopamine provided to it via gradual tapering before it will start making dopamine/neurotransmitters on its own? As in, it will start increasing the percentage it makes, once I decrease Adderall gradually. 3. Does the amount of time that dopamine has been depleted from the body have anything to do with the amount of time it will take to replenish it? For ex, if took it for 17 years, versus 2 years, will the body replenish it slower if it's been given Adderall for a longer time? 4. What are all the substitutes for dopamine and what are their effects on the body? meaning supplements, herbal remedies, things that when used as a natural replacement, that have less/no side effects etc. What combinations of these natural supplements/herbs have helped you the most? 5. What kind of time frame have you been on these natural replacements for and with what result? 6. If anyone has been on Adderall for a long time, similarly with my time frame of 17 years, and is now Adderall free, can you please share what happened after 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, particularly with A. motivation B. depression C. weight gain. I'm trying to figure out a timeframe of when people start feeling "normal" again, so I can set my expectations correctly. I know that it all depends on a lot of things, but any and all examples of your personal experience are greatly appreciated. I know it's a long road, but it would be comforting to know how far ahead the light at the end of the tunnel is. 7. Is there a blood test for dopamine / neurotransmitter levels that can be done with a doctor? Is there a test (saliva or urine maybe) that can be bought on the internet and does not require a doctor visit? What are the specific names/links for each? Big thank you for your help and insights. I cannot tell you how helpful this website has been to me in my process.
  14. 10 pills left

    Hey everyone, I've been in revovery for 9 years, had 3 three years consecutive sobriety until mid August when I went completely off the rails. I was working as a therapist in a drug and alcohol rehab and finishing my master's degree, I slowly became less vigilant of myself, and inch by inch made my back to using. After a two week run of benzos, heroin, adderrall, and coke, I woke up last friday out of drugs, but with an appointment to see a psychiatrist I had recently, and effortlessly, convinced to give me script for 90 20mg IRs. I went to the appointment, filled the script, and have been taking them ever since. I'm off all the other stuff, going to meetings, in contact with my sponsor, and trying to pick up the pieces. I lost my job and may be getting kicked out of the master's program with only 3 credits left to complete. The adderrall may have helped me stop the acute insanity and become stabilized, but it makes me feel awful. I can't feel the things I need to feel in order to grow, change, and get healthy again. I've spent a cumulative 8 of the last 9 years completely clean, having a few slips here and there. But the last 3 years have been the best of my life, until I self destructed. I was working up to flushing the rest of my script for the past couple days. The only way I was able to do that psychologically was to ration out a couple day's supply to last me until Monday, then I have an opportunity to crash for a couple days and not really do much. I decided to save 4 of them to help me study for a certification exam next month, but chances are I'll get into those as soon as my rations run out. I'll be utterly amazed if those pills remain after a couple days without any speed. But feel free to warn me of the backwards thinking behind trying to quit and saving a stash, but I'm already well aware of it. I'm insane when it comes to this stuff. And informing the Dr. who prescibed these things.. At this point, I am unwilling to do that. And yes, it is because I have a reservation to use adderrall again. The only safe measure would be to inform every single doctor in, and out of, my state. Because if I wanted to pick these things back up in the future, I could just find another idiot with a prescription pad. But that might take too much time, time in which I may turn to other things, so if I decided to get a refill I'd like it run smoothly and quickly, that way it will take less time for me to realize that I hate this stuff and can NEVER use it properly. I sound insane, I know, but thats what a two week drug binge followed by a week long adderrall romance will do to you. The most I've taken in a single day is 80mg, usually get to sleep around 7am, sleep until one and start the whole thing again. I wouldn't even get out of bed if I didn't use adderrall this week. But I'm just prolonging the inevitable, and I've had a wonderful life not using these pills, so I know what to look forward to. So Tuesday will will be my quit date. But it may end up being Wednesday if I can't stay out of my "study stash". If I can stay out of my study stash, it will help me psychologically to know that they're there, I did this when I quit cigarettes, I kept a single cigarette for a year, and would sometimes look at it just to know it was an option. But eventually, once I felt secure about not smoking, I threw it out. So hopefully that will be what happens with my "study stash" if it survives Tuesday's crash. I joined this forum because I will need support for this. I've quit all sorts of things, and know that the key component is support during the most difficult period. Then its all about self honesty, and honesty with others in order to continue to keep growing and not have the desire to go back to this stuff. Because it isolates me, keeps me trapped inside myself, and I can't obtain the peace and joy that I just recently had in my life. Thank you for being there, and creating this forum. I need it.
  15. Gamers

    Wondering if anyone on here plays PlayStation as that would be a good way for me to chat with members of this forum. If your a member in here and would like to chat with me let me know and I will send you my username on PSN in a direct message
  16. Realized I should Quit

    I've been on this medication for over five years I am a creative person friendly laid-back easy to be around and feel that it's time to wean myself off of this medication. I am a friendly, kind, laid-back guy who is usually fun to be around and feel that it's time to wean myself off of this medication. I have been taking this medication in order to feel good and neglected to deal with A deep underlying depression that I I hadn't realized I was self-medicating myself fot. I Started utilizing stimulants because of the feeling of having to keep up with everyone over my years in college, as well as having the feeling that I had to to keep up with the breakneck pace of my friends, the pressure of finishing school, starting in career, starting my life and having everything figured out as A 25 -year-old adult feeling that I have not met up to the expectations of family over the few past few years, and like I was some kind of failure for still being in school . I'm want to slow things down as I feel that it allows me to be more myself when I am not trying to keep up with everyone else expectations or living amongst our fast paced tech driven culture that we live in. I am a musician I am later back, I like to write songs, I love playing drums guitar and bass I like art and film and have a deep passion for video games in which I am pursuing a career in after finishing my bachelors degree. I am posting in hopes to connect with u guys, members of this community who can relate to my experience of wanting to stop taking this medication to slowdown. I have been wanting to stop taking this medication because i feel more like myself when not reliant on stimulants and able to be in the moment rather than trying to keep up and race around trying to get a thousand things done all the time. I have been Reading everyone's posts on here is been therapeutic as I was amazing how similar all of our experiences of th Reading everyone's posts on here is been therapeutic as I was amazing how similar all of our experiences of them I am open and empathetic to everyone who's been dealing with this in their lives and never pass judgment I would love to connect, and empathetic to everyone who's been dealing with this in their lives and never pass judgment I would love to connect with some of you guys. Being someone who is a gamer and has the ability to easily chat via voice chat or Skype I am hoping others members on here would like to utilize the functionalities of our gaming consoles in order to chat with one another if interested. I typed this out on my iPhone using my voice so Im sorry there are a bunch of errors. I'm going to edit this later but had to post cuz I felt like I'd never get around to it if I didn't do it right away
  17. Day One...

    Hey everyone, I'm 26 years old. 169lbs. Married to a very supportive/ loving woman. This past week I have seen how insane and scary my relationship with adderall has become. I started when I was diagnosed in college. I stuggled with reading and was drowning. I became an accounting major and things improved. Finally, I decided that I would seek a doctor's advice because I was depressed and working hour after hour and not making the grades in qualitative classes. I feared grad school was not going to be a reality if I didn't get some help figuring out why things were harder all me when I truly had the work ethic. I was tired of reading the same line 5 times and day dreaming when studying. I was put on a 30mg and 20mg adderall once a day. Instant solution: Straight A's. I graduated this May and started full time at a large CPA firm. Since May, Adderall has turned into something that haunts me. I was diagnosed last year and it got out of hand quick. I was so productive! Worked my first tax season and had my two capstone classes and three other classes this spring semester, surprisingly I managed to blow all of this out of the water. But quickly things changed. When I met adderall, I was a sports fanatic and didn't drink or use drugs. In fact, I haven't drank alcohol since 2011. I was known for my laidback nature and my positive attitude. Unfortunately, I find it hard to "feel" or relate to my oldself. February, I messed up and took 30mg at night to study for an exam. This resulted in a binge. Then a month later in tried to take the dosage prescribed and was constantly obessed if it was enough to focus. I started having mood swings. Also, my perspective of others became super judgemental, and I compared myself and accomplishments to other people obsessively in my head. I was obsessed with kicking butt in work and school and became completely unaware at wasn't present at home. As May was approaching, it became increasingly harder to sleep. By June, I swore at times I heard coworkers talking about me and things in my house. I became frustrated with my wife constantly because she did not understand my patterns of speech and just down right weird behavior. I was so embarrassed. This past week I told her I needed help. I called a retired doctor we knew who has been in recovery from adderall for 8 years. The only thing I could say was, "I think I have a drug problem." He told me that I could call him everyday starting whenever I decided to quit. As the week closed out I was engulfed in believing every person in my life and at work knew my situation and were against me. The worst is the overwhelming sense of nearing failure and feeling I am watching my life fall apart in front of my eyes. All I could do until yesterday was justify the uses. My wife went out of town to visited her mother while I took the weekend to be alone and get clean. Yesterday, I failed and took several pills. I felt so alone, but then I found this cite. After reading my story told over and over again, I had enough truth about my condition to flush the pills. Our friend is calling my prescribing doctor to tell him I have a problem with adderall, which is a relief because I didn't trust myself with that task. I'm so lonely, depressed, and scatterbrained. (I'm having serious issues typing this) On the other hand, I have made the committment to my career, family, and health. I am ashamed of the person I have become. I am an anti-social, fearful, excuse maker. Who have watch his friends quit calling one by one because I could care less what they are doing. The truth is I do care, and I want my emotions back. I could not identify adderall was changing me of the past six months and would do anything to rationalize countinued daily excessive use, which is torture. It is a scary addiction that tore me apart quick and made me suspicious of everyone around me. I feel humiliated because I believed every lie in my head. Thanks for your time, and I'm sorry for the choppy sentence structures. I just can seem to think clearly. I was grateful for you guys yesterday and look forward to this journey with you. Old Brandon is coming back. -Brandon
  18. I have been on Adderall off and on for roughly 8 years or so...before Addrerall, I was self medicating with caffeine and diet pills...I believe that if I am not a "true" ADDer with some mild autistic-spectrum traits, then I must have brain damage or something..Extreme difficulty with work...house chores...organization...Whole life......Anywhoo..I think my decision to take Adderall was one made out of desperation and there was an edge of self destructiveness to it...I was past the point where I gave a damn about the long term ramifications of it...After years of excessive caffeine use and toil and struggle, I convinced myself that this was the way to go...so I took the plunge and now it is several years later. I don't take a very high dosage...I take the minimum amount that I need each day to be functional..but I supplement w caffeine again to compensate...I take supplements to help with my dopamine levels..L-tyrosine and l-theanine, when I have not run out of it....I take omega supplements...i monitor my blood pressure, which ran a bit high before I ever took adderall...In the state that I am currently in, I struggle with all the things I had trouble with before I ever started taking the stuff. .and also have to deal with this addictive chemical...the fear of withdrawal...the need to be somehow "functional"...the Desire to be much more functional than I am..Which I fear is impossible..My brain is a messed up clunky machine and I barely slide by as a passable human being...I would like to believe that there might be some kind of hope for improvement...without my having to be on this stuff for the rest of my life...I am interested in tapering off of it..rather than cold turkey..as it stands, I usually stretch my one month prescription to last as long as 21/2 or 3 months...so maybe I am not beyond hope.. I hate dealing w the constant fatigue..and the feeling of being a constant slave to impulses...I live in a very unstructured environment,,,and I try to fight against it but entropy is a difficult force to do battle with, and I don't have many people on my side,...
  19. Just joined the site and wanted to make my first post. Got my script refilled on Tuesday and by Thursday I was already taking 120mg's of addy, and went from my normal, happy go lucky self, to a complete zombie at work where I would just sit at my desk and be "in the zone" and just act like a stuttering robot to anyone I talked too. I don't want to ramble on, but I still have half of my script left and I've decided that I am done with it. I don't want to go through the misery of having to plan on out when I will take my last pill so I can time the withdrawl and not have it affect my work/social life. I have decided to quit this amazingly addictive drug on my own terms. I am going to stay at a hotel for the weekend and go through my withdrawl with no one bothering me and will emerge from the hotel on Sunday adderall free. Love this site and love reading everyone's stories of success! -Chuck
  20. Okay, sorry if this is long. I'm so turned around and I just need to get it all out. I've been thinking about quitting lately. I've made a couple of attempts in the past but always end up back on the addies or some other stimulant. I know it's destructive but I think I just haven't found the internal motivation to follow through. I love being creative and productive and social all the time way too much to do the smart thing and worry about my undoubtedly increasingly unbalanced nuerochemistry... or my health... or the prospect of my life turning into 'Requiem for a Dream'. You know, typical addict stuff. But I met this really great guy and I REALLY like him. Like, oh man, we super click on a lot of levels. But I definitely don't want to put someone I really care about in the position of being an addict's partner, especially because he has dated a junky in the past and that sorta contributed to his life going off the rails. So, my options are now; 1) Keep seeing him and lie - Bleh, been there, done that. So much no. I want to be better than that. I HAVE to be better than that. 2) Tell him about my addiction and let him decide what he wants to do - I feel like this is the right, courageous, and most ethical thing to do but the mere thought of saying the words 'I am addicted to adderall' to this person makes me shakey. I am historically a relationship addict (not as much so now that I've replaced one addiction with another); http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_addiction and the prospect of facing dissaproval and abandonment from someone I'm romantically entangled with instills the fear of death itself in me. Or that's what it feels like anyway. I feel like I can't do it, like, physically, if that makes sense. I feel like my throat will close up or I'll throw from nerves or have a panic attack or something if I even try to have that conversation. 3) Same as above (tell him) but also explain that this means I can't be involved with anyone right now. I think there might be some virtue in completing my adderall saga, whenever and wherever it may end, alone. I don't want to do damage to anyone but me. 4) Make some excuse to stop hanging out or dissapear mysteriously and hope it doesn't bum him out too much - I would be epically sad, but this would be the easiest thing to do. It's also the most cowardly. If I could be brave enough to tell him what's going on in my life, and he still wants to hang out with my crazy ass for some reason, that would probably be on the condition that I start working on quitting now, which I'd be willing to try again, but I feel like I'd fail because I wouldn't be 100% certain if it was for me, or if it was just for him. I don't know if I'm ready to quit. I'm so pathetic... I'm co-dependant to the point that I don't even care enough about myself to stop using tweak, I need 'love' or whatever the fuck you call what co-dependants feel to motivate me to save my own goddamn life. And even if I didn't have those issues, I'm pathetic because I'm choosing drugs over spending more time with someone who I think is totally awesome and I can't even work up the guts to tell them. Can anyone relate? Thoughts? Advice? Man... I feel like the worst person... =(
  21. my life; controlled by adderall

    i am 23 years old. 5 years ago, i was introduced to a drug called vyvanse. i had never heard of anything like the description i was told about the medication before. i took one blue and white ER cap, which was (if i am correct) 70 mg. who knew that one small pill, one simple little medication could control my life in every aspect for the next 5 years, and counting. i will try to describe these next 5 years, as short, but in as much detail as i can. at first it was fun, more of a game per say. i could take these pills and have so much energy so much urge to clean, my house always looked amazing. my life seemed so entertaining. approx 30 maybe 45 days after taking vy every couple of days, i was introduced to adderall. my one and only addiction in life. its been 5 years, and 2 amazing children later, and i cannot quit. adderall has become my life; my bestfriend, my go to girl, my happiness, the first thing i do when i wake up. its what i look forward to in the mornings, i tell myself just get up, take your med, and get your day started everything will be fine once you take your pill. I HATE THIS! i started off taking 10 mg a day. i now am prescribed 60 mg a day. (since trying to come off, i have started taking less and less, but some days i cant help but to take more). i have done things i would have never imagined doing due to adderall. i have lost friends, relationships, money, my emotions, jobs, my life, my sex desire. i have no control of my life without it. it seems no matter how hard i try, how determined i am, i cannot get the idea out of my mind. i cannot break this horrible habit that i have grown to despise. my SO and i both have tried countless times to stop. and we were doing so well for long periods of times before. 8 or 9 weeks sometimes, and then one day, we start again. we have even started to snort our pills, which has caused sores in and out side of our nose sometimes. we are parents, and we look like we could be on some serious drugs because of the constant sores, the bags under our eyes due to lack of sleep, (8 days and 7 nights i have stayed up before). living this life is NOT what i want. i so badly want to become dependent on myself, on the beauty of the world. i don't want to continue to take medication to live. i do not want to spend money buying more and more each month due to my tolerance level increasing, and not only mine but his as well (he can't get his own script). i do not want to get caught selling drugs. i do not want to get caught buying drugs. i am terrified of what my life will become if i do not stop taking, snorting and abusing this medication. i am at a complete loss at what to do, my SO isn't ready to quit. therefore; it's going to be really hard to for me as well. social addiction is the worse, and the habit i have formed of snorting is just as bad. what can i do? i need help. i am finally ready to reach out and receive any and all the help that i can get. if there is anything you can offer me, any words of wisdom, and stories, experiences, please don't hesitate. i want you and i to help each other quit this horrible addiction we have allowed ourselves to create.
  22. I can still taste the sweetness of the adderall, I still crave it more than anything... The only tie I get it anymore is in my dreams, but when I w me up, its in a sweat. I just try my hardest to fall asleep and take more, sometimes it works! Sounds crazy, I like it but I hate it, it makes me crave it, even though I am 86 days clean of it. Does anyone else experience this? It's scaring me I'm craving it bad lately, ok guess I could use some tips
  23. I am on day 64 without Adderall. I am wanting a Ritalin today I am overwhelmed and have such bad anxiety idk what to do. Does anyone have any info that states ur brain is automatically set back to the first stage by just a little? Doesn't any progress help? Is giving urself a little after doing so well the worst thing ever??? Answers please :/
  24. Hello. I am a 20 year old male and I don't know what to do in regards to quiting Adderall. So I don't know if I can quit the Adderall because I have tried to get off of it a number of times. But whenever I'm off of it, I don't feel in control of my anxiety. I also feel like without it, I am worthless. I started taking it because I was going through so much stress back in high school. I was barely passing my classes, I was rejected by the girl of my dreams, and I was developing social anxiety so bad that I couldn't sit in the same room as my classmates or even go to a building that had people in it. All of this made me begin to feel insecure about my ability to function and my worth as a person. Now I have almost no confidence in my ability to succeed at anything. I feel very insecure around people and rarely go out with friends, so my social support network is very limited. I really want to go back to how I was before I took Adderall. But I feel like who I am without the Adderall isn't good enough to obtain friends, a love interest, succeed in school or my future career. Has anyone else been in my shoes? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.
  25. My Story

    Here is my story on Adderall, I was first diagnosed with ADHD my junior year in high school, but looking back i was definetly symptomatic for years before. I had always gotten decent grades without much effort, and had even tested my IQ in the 140 to 150 range. Then, in junior year I just hit a wall, classes got exponentially more difficult, and a combination of my ADHD and not really having any study skills my grades plummeted, so naturally my parents freaked out and sent me to a doctor. At first, i was reluctant, but as he went through the ADHD screening, i was amazed by how well it described me. I had always thought that ADHD was for the "special" kids, not me, but here we are. Anyway, my pdoc started me off at 50mg of Straterra when it was relatively new. It didn't work at all, we bumped it up to 100mg, the which i believe is the highest dosage, and still no effect. The summer before senior year, i started on 5mg of Adderall IR, 2x daily. I didnt really notice much difference, as i was not really under demand during my boring summer job, so before school started we kicked it up to 7.5mg IR 2x daily. As I'm sure many of you can attest to, i felt great, everything seemed effortless, and i could easily sit and study, write papers, or work on projects for hours on end, something i had never been able to do before. With the help of Adderall, i raised my GPA and got 34 on the ACT, which got me into a great college with a decent scholarship. As a college freshman that had an older brother go to the same university, I was a legacy at a fraternity that shall remain nameless. Now, I don't want to go on badmouthing fraternities, I am still am glad i joined, it was a great experience that shaped me to who I am today, but one thing i regret is how it affected my use, and abuse, of Adderall. Yes, i used Adderall for partying longer, and yes i sold excess to friends for cramming for finals, and i abused the hell out of it during finals week myself. All this time, i had been slowly bumping up my dosage, and switched to XR instead of IR. Nearing the end of my junior year of college, I was taking 50mg of XR just to feel the regular effects that got me functioning. I felt on top of the world, I had an amazing girlfriend, had crazy weekend stories may not remember totally, had a great GPA, kept my scholarship, had a solid paid internship at an alumni's company with a job offer right after graduation. All i had to do was take this little pill, and everything seemed to fall into place. I hate to say it, but it was like the movie Limitless. Then, my whole world came crashing down. My mom's birthday was coming up, and I was headed home for the weekend. I was going to meet my mother, father, and older brother who had just graduated at a restaurant. I got there and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Turns out my family had been driven off the road by a drunk driver, killing my mother and brother, leaving my father in a medically induced coma. I never had dealt with grief on this scale, I had a few breakups here and there, but nothing like this. So, I regretfully turned to the two closest solutions, finding my problems at the bottom of a fifth of jack and my Adderall bottle. A trip to the hospital after a night of mixing Adderall and booze that ended in a BAC of .33 and my stomach being pumped was a wake up call, so with my fraternity brother's support, i cut back a lot with my drinking, but that was only part of the problem. I still had my little magic pill, Adderall. At this point, I started noticing that i was craving the pills, not just the regular, "I could do this faster with some Adderall", but real, cravings that drove me crazy. Finals week of Junior year, I nearly went into cardiac arrest in the library after downing nearly 150mg of Adderall. This was pretty much my rock bottom point. I went to the university's counseling program, and talked to my pdoc about scaling back my dosage, he agreed. I scaled down to 25mg for a month, which was hell because i was too weak to resist and ran out after taking double doses, but then I decided that enough was enough. I quit cold turkey. Going from 50mg daily to 0 was pretty much the worst thing I have ever experienced, besides the accident my family was in. Thankfully, I had the support of my fraternity brothers, and my amazing girlfriend, now my current fiance. I managed to finish and graduate with my Bachelor's in Chemical Engineering with honors, albeit one semester late. Now, I am 3 years off Adderall and I couldn't feel better. My father made a full recovery, I have a beautiful fiance, a secure and well-paying job, and am about to start my Master's degree. I still talk to a counselor, but now it is more of healthy lifestyle choices. I started eating healthier, working out, and getting as regular a sleep schedule as my job will allow. Its amazing how those three things, along with a positive outlook can do. I still have trouble focusing sometimes, but I just buckled down and worked through it. I experimented with different work environments to find which fits best for me. No matter how long an arduous a journey may seem, even the longest journeys begin with a single step. As Winston Churchill said "If you're going through hell, keep going". Withdrawl sucks, but with perseverance and support of family and friends, you can do it, and you can beat Adderall addiction.