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Let me start by saying that I am so glad I have found this forum! I have spent the last hour reading many posts dealing with Adderall and how it affects marriages. I thank God that I am not going crazy and that I am not just "over reacting" as my wife puts it. My wife of 23 years started Adderall about 8 years ago. She had just started a new job and was going to be working for a very demanding boss, this boss sent her home with a manual titled " (bosses name) Bible" and she was to read it and follow it to the "T". It wasn't too much longer that she had diagnosed herself with ADD and even pulled me in to confirm her diagnosis, I simply replied that "yes, it does seem that you have some of these symptoms". She made a appointment with her family doctor and was sent home with a self diagnosis checklist that she was to fill out and one that I was to fill out as well. She took both back to her doctor and was diagnosed with ADD and given a prescription for Vyvance, which was soon changed to extended release Adderall and then finally to regular Adderall. The family doctor didn't want to be involved in monitoring the meds so she was referred to a psychiatrist, who has been prescribing ever since. When my wife first took the meds I was really excited for her! She was on the go! The kitchen got cleaned and organized, pots got stacked, lids got hung, spices got alphabetized.... I could go on and on... she was on fire! Unfortunately this only lasted for about 2 weeks and since then it has been a slow decline to the other extreme. Today my wife is unbearable, and before I found this forum this morning I was on google doing research on the divorce laws in my state. Lets start with the anger. Her anger and the things that will say when angry are off the chart. I literally tip toe around the house on egg shells and try everything I possibly can to not set her off. I have come to realize that there is really nothing I can do not to set her off, my mere presence in the room is often enough. She is angry/spiteful first thing in the morning before I even speak to her. I really hope I can convey the constant stress that is always present in my home. I know when she has taken an Adderall... she will become talkative and semi-nice... she will have plans for dinner or for stuff she wants to accomplish for the weekend, but I know from experience that by the evening she will be unbearable again. These positive bumps in her mood used to excite me, but now I resent them because I know they are drug induced and short lived. I feel like she is setting me up to knock me down later. I now realize that there is nothing I can do to keep her in a good mood and that everything I do can potentially piss her off, but for the sake of peace and because of my children (19 &21) I still try to tip toe around her. Everything is always someone else's fault! Its always the "F...tards at work" the "stupid ass cashier" to blame. She has not taken responsibility for anything in years. Just this morning, while backing out of the driveway (late of course), she cut to sharp and got her car up against our mailbox and the rear wheel stuck in the wet grass. I had to winch her out and the whole time she was freaking out telling me to hurry because she was already late and cussing the neighbor because if they hadn't parked in the street she would have had plenty of room to back out and wouldn't have got stuck. Just last week she backed out of the garage (late again) and backed at an angle straight into my daughters car... this time is was my daughters fault...why? I don't know, and she never explains. When she is pushed for an explanation as to why shes mad, or why its my fault she just changes the subject... or gets madder. She always loses things, keys, phone, shoes, hairbrush....and it is always because someone moved them, not because she just dropped them somewhere random. I don't even help her look anymore. How many times have I heard her freak out about leaving her phone in Target (actually she did that once) or the cashier at Walmart kept her debit card, only for her to find the missing item a few minutes later, but only after she puts everyone around trough a living hell and gets infuriated when no one else will help her look. I don't think she is abusing Adderall in the sense that she is only taking her prescribed dose. I do think that she is taking more of her Adderall during the week and skipping it on the weekends. She literally stays in bed all day on Saturday. She might get up around 2ish to start getting ready, but that process literally lasts until she goes to bed (or I go to bed, because I always go first). She never goes out anymore, she would rather me go and get take out for dinner, as she puts it all the time "I hate people". Sunday is the same thing, she will get ready all day and then around 5 or so she will visit her mom. After visiting her mom she will go to the grocery store and do the weekly shopping... texting me non stop from the store about what we need and what do we have and about all the stupid "f...tards" at Walmart etc.... The grocery shopping is the only thing that she does anymore for the good of the family. I have to force her to go every weekend or else that would be the last chore that would get shoveled onto me. I literally do everything else! Cooking, cleaning, fixing cars, cutting grass... basically everything else that can occur in life if my responsibility. She is the victim! She is dying, one day she will be dead and we will all feel bad about how we treated her... she says this all the time. She has lupus and kidney stones... both self diagnosed...and she refuses to go to the doctor to have it confirmed and/or treated. I have offered to go with her, I have bought her supplements and offered all types of advice and encouragement, but she prefers to do nothing. She literally moans and groans all weekend long. On a more personal note, our sex life is now gone. We used to have a great sex life and actually we could never understand how other couples could make it without sex at least a couple times a week. This happened really gradually and then escalated quickly over the last year. Now sex is maybe once a month and that is only if I really, really, really am careful not to piss her off during the day (which means I essentially have to leave the house) and if I fulfill all her wishes that day, then I might get lucky. Many times I have pandered to her all day only to get cut out at the end by a manufactured outrage, eg. "why did you roll your eyes"? I always feel anymore like she is doing me a favor... I have read where others have referred to there significant other as being emotionally vacant, I can totally relate. I really feel as though my wife doesn't feel emotions anymore. She makes cold comments sometimes that make me feel uneasy. I honestly don't feel like she loves me anymore, and have told her so. I know a lot of this may sound like typical marital stress, and I'm sure some of it is, but prior to Adderall our marriage was much better. My wife has zero interest in anything anymore, she goes to work Monday-Friday, stays up most of the night, falls asleep on the couch and then on the weekends she does nothing but stay in bed and on Sunday evening she will go to the grocery store. I am at my wits end and I know the stress of dealing with this is affecting me and my kids. Anyhow, this is my story to date... thanks for letting me share...
Lachesis Atropos posted a topic in Tell your storyI was prescribed adderall by my family doctor, after seeing a psychologist as required. In truth, the adderall had no real affect on me other than lack of sleep and loss of appetite. I lost approx 5 Ibs without much effort, and my wife of 19 years noticed this quickly. To be clear, I did not have a weight issue, however, my wife believed she had an issue with weight. She asked if she could try my prescription at a lower dose to see if it would work on her, then she would pursue the doctor for her prescription. I was hesitant to do this, but she was adamant she try the adderall just for several days, to make sure she doesn't waste her time going to the doctor. I relented, a huge mistake. The adderall had the desired affect, she lost weight quickly. But something else happened, her personality changed almost immediately. I truly believe this was the marking point of the end of our marriage, her personality/psychology was permanently altered. I stopped giving her the adderall, she was supposed to see our doctor to obtain her own Rx. Over several months i still received my adderall Rx, but rarely used it, and I stored it away. After the Rx ran out, I stopped obtaining refills. As for my wife, her behavior had changed for the worse. While on a business trip, I received a call from her out of nowhere, asking for a divorce! I was in complete shock, in disbelief. I ended by business trip to return home, my bank accounts emptied, the house empty of her belongings. In addition, by adderall that I had stored away, was all missing. My spouse was no longer the wife I remembered, and what she did to destroy me was unbelievable. I had hired a PI to gather more information, and it turned out that she had had over 4 affairs, one of which was an attorney that worked at the the same office she did. Apparently, for at least a year, she was preparing for the divorce. I even found papers where she was going to have me removed from our house, the house I paid for, mortgage under my name, under the pretense that I was violent or physically abusive - all lies. She confessed to me that she decided not to, because she did not want our son to see me go to jail. According to my attorney, the real reason was that she would eventually go to prison for lying on a government document, deceiving the court. There is much more to this, this is obviously an abbreviated version of events. When I look back at the horrors, brushes with death I've endured while in a military environment, I would prefer to relive the Hell I went through, almost at death's door, rather than going through what my alleged spouse put me through. After 5 years, I can now say thank God! I'm starting a new life, hopefully a new family. I truly believe adderall's affect on one individual to the next can be very different, and possibly very destructive. I lost a total of 24 years of my life, and thank God I'm barely young enough to start over. My ex-wife's family are still close to me, and they no longer communicate with her at all. My anger and resentment is replaced by the knowledge that God will take care of everything, and everyone involved.