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Found 3 results

  1. I started taking Adderall when I was 14 years old. My mom was a pediatrician and ever since I can remember, I was prescribed to some sort of ADD / ADHD medication. I remember having to go to the nurse every day during grade school but I am not sure what medication it was for. I have been prescribed to ritallin, concerta, straterra, and Adderall. My mom passed away when I was 14 years old and at that point in time I was taking 60 mg of Adderall on a daily basis. I have continued to take that amount, daily, to date. I am now 25 years old, about to turn 26. Adderall has become something that I am dependent on. I recently (last 3 years) have started abusing it, and I want off. The reason I joined this site is because I need someone to relate to… Recently I have been taking more than I am prescribed and I have developed a fear for the days (weekends – non work days) that I need to set aside in order to offset the days I have over used on. I have become terrified of these days that I will not be able to take my medication on. Last weekend, I went cold turkey. I need to do this for the next 3 weekends in order to have enough medication to get me through my work weeks until my next prescription can be filled. It was hard, but not quite as bad as I thought it would be. It is a terrifying thing to think about life without my medication. I was offered free NBA tickets by my work for next weekend, but I declined because I knew I would not be on my medication and likely not feel up to it. I go to a work out class most Saturdays with a friend of mine and as soon as I realized I was out, I came up with a bunch of excuses to get me out of the next couple classes… I don’t want to live this way. I made it through one weekend but I need support to continue this process. If anyone can relate, please comment…
  2. I started taking Adderall when I was 14 years old. My mom was a pediatrician and ever since I can remember, I was prescribed to some sort of ADD / ADHD medication. I remember having to go to the nurse every day during grade school but I am not sure what medication it was for. I have been prescribed to ritallin, concerta, straterra, and Adderall. My mom passed away when I was 14 years old and at that point in time I was taking 60 mg of Adderall on a daily basis. I have continued to take that amount, daily, to date. I am now 25 years old, about to turn 26. Adderall has become something that I am dependent on. I recently (last 3 years) have started abusing it, and I want off. The reason I joined this site is because I need someone to relate to… Recently I have been taking more than I am prescribed and I have developed a fear for the days (weekends – non work days) that I need to set aside in order to offset the days I have over used on. I have become terrified of these days that I will not be able to take my medication on. Last weekend, I went cold turkey. I need to do this for the next 3 weekends in order to have enough medication to get me through my work weeks until my next prescription can be filled. It was hard, but not quite as bad as I thought it would be. It is a terrifying thing to think about life without my medication. I was offered free NBA tickets by my work for next weekend, but I declined because I knew I would not be on my medication and likely not feel up to it. I go to a work out class most Saturdays with a friend of mine and as soon as I realized I was out, I came up with a bunch of excuses to get me out of the next couple classes… I don’t want to live this way. I made it through one weekend but I need support to continue this process. If anyone can relate, please comment…
  3. ... And I'm The TEACHER!!!

    I've been taking Adderall for what I think may be 8 or 9 years. Seeing those words there is making my stomach turn... I'll start at the beginning I didn't begin taking this drug when I was in high school or collage (although, I could have really used the help...) I actually began taking this when I became a teacher. I was 2 or 3 years in as a primary (ages 6-8), classroom teacher in an urban area. I was overwhelmed, overworked and lost. At the insistence of my mother who was convinced I had some thyroid issue, I visited the doctor. While I sobbed in the Dr's office about my unwillingness to get out of bed to go to work, she nodded sympathetically and wrote a prescription for an antidepressant. She also referred me to an outpatient psychiatric clinic and so began my rollercoaster ride on a rainbow of pills… I honestly cannot sort out the chronology of medications, just that Adderall was always in there. There was that summer of XRs at a high dose and an antipsychotic to “take the edge†off. I cried a lot that summer. Then there was XRs in the am and IRs in the pm. For attention… to what? MY PILLOW!? Most recently, it’s IRs, Xanex, and Ambien. Ambien is a bitch, too. So is Xanex… However, I can’t say it was all bad. In the beginning, Adderall helped me become a more organized teacher, I was able to get my Master’s degree and manage a classroom of children who were so lost and in need of someone to be consistent and caring. I was that person, I was also full of energy and “fun!†It’s easy to be fun everyday when you are pumped full of amphetamines. I’d take it before work, on the way to work, at work, at home… To do grading, individualize instruction for struggling students, meet with parents later in the day, plan, organize, whenever I needed more time in the day. Then I’d be up all night, sobbing… You can do some serious psychological damage to yourself at 3 in the morning. Cut to 8 or 9 years later, and here I am. I feel like I’ve stalled my life. I'm still a teacher, it's a hard job, I'm still overworked, overtired and now I'm less organized. The more productive I am, the more gets thrown at me to do. No one can work like this, and no one should be expected to work like this. And I'm not going to take a pill to make me better at this anymore. It doesn't work. I’ve managed to get off the antidepressant (that was really tough, my brain felt like it was being electrocuted) and the Ambien (that little bitch,) but the Adderall, come on! And you know you need your Xanex for sleep… I’m 36 years old, married and I want to have a baby. Oh, and it turns out, my mother was right, I do have a thyroid problem. These years slipped by and I have to stop. I’ve reduced my dosage, only to up it again (cause I’m always counting the pills and I know I can take more.) I don’t blame anyone else for it. I take responsibility for it all, I lied. A lot. I’m not proud of that. It has to end now. Time is running out, I’m not getting any younger. And if I even think that I might have missed my chance to actually… Just to be super productive, just to take a little blue pill… I have to stop. I’m coming here to be accountable. I’m coming here because I need a new place to start.