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Depression


survived

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I decided to make a post about something that has been bothering me for a while. I went through old posts that touched the topic of Depression after quitting amphetamines. After quitting I knew something didn't feel right but I thought it was just laziness.

With time I started to recognize that I was depressed. I didn't want to believe in Depression because it is a term often used by Psychiatrists so they can sell us their pills. I started to doubt that Depression even existed and started thinking it were just a giant ploy to market to us. Same with Adderall. But I have now recognized that Depression is very real. There's days I feel unmotivated. I'm extremely sensitive and I can be crabby. Although, some days my moods are improved and I feel happiness and almost giddy. Some days shine brighter than the rest.

I refuse to touch antidepressants because I've taken them in the past(I was a kid and it was not by choice), and they caused me to feel manic and suicidal so the only thing I have left is riding this out naturally.

When I think back to the past I was a very happy person before taking Adderall. Nothing was perfect but I felt good about myself and life. I was happy and optimistic. My moods were a lot better. So I suppose my motivator is going back to my old self. What do you do to help cope with depressive feelings?

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meditation, exercise, sunshine, gratidude, sleep and good overall self care. Are really the only tried and true things that work, anti-D's are effective but not a cure all. There is no magic bullet just create good habits and keep moving forward.  Stop looking for cures and focus on managing your depression.  I still have bouts with depression but I'm living in that fog any longer.  When I was in early recovery I had a really difficult time with depression. But it eased up significantly over time. Learning about depressions and its triggers helped me considerably. 

 

 

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I researched a lot of on-line forums before quitting and found that depression was one of the most universal symptoms of amphetamine recovery.  In fact, I made a top five list of Adderall recovery concerns:

 

1) vulnerability to relapsing, and doubting your reasons for quitting

2) crippling depression

3) weight gain

4) laziness and lack of motivation

5) decreased mental performance and lowered cognition

 

I chose the springtime for my quitting season to minimize or delay some of the above issues.  I also researched natural antidepressant remedies and chose L-Tyrosine for my anti-D, as I had previously taken phenylalanine for depression 20 years ago and I knew that some amino acids worked to help my brain feel better.  Exercise also works wonders to combat the depression and weight gain, but item #4 got in the way of exercising during my first year of recovery, complicating item #3 as well as the depression.  Sunshine and a new outdoor hobby also helped me to overcome the depression.  Actually, I expected the depression to be worse than it was after quitting.  I was so overjoyed and relieved to have that addiction monkey off my back that I was willing to accept and deal with items #2-5 and the desire to relapse really didn't challenge me because the addiction itself and physical side affects of Adderall abuse were so horrible. 

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Survived,

 

Good for you for not going back on antidepressants!  You sound very strong in your decision, which is awesome.     If you can manage to stay that way, and keep managing without them, I'd say do it.  

 

I was always that way.  I was always opposed to antidepressants.  The year I quit adderall, I also suffered from horrible unprecedented depression (there were life events that also affected this) and eventually it got so bad that I gave in and went on them.  Now, I hate that I take them, and the withdrawals are truly debilitating.   I'm still depressed and I don't think these pills are even helping anymore.  

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@Occasional01;

I got off of them on my own almost a decade ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I dealt with brain zaps, and hot flashes for a while through withdrawl and I finally felt real happiness afterward! Perhaps it is time for you to quit them? Stop taking them for a few months and see if you feel happier! You may just feel better afterward, I feel strongly about that!

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@alwaysawesome;

 

I think actually making it outside to walk or to the gym is the hardest step. You have to pretty much force yourself there. (As unmotivated & tired as you are) and just walk for 30 minutes everyday. It is a struggle for me to get out there, but like they say....no one ever regrets a workout! :)

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