Kev9765 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 I haven't taken Addy in about 6 months or so. I am feeling very tempted to go get a script & start up again. I'm having trouble focusing & getting motivated to write which isn't good bc I'm a writer. I feel like I'm missing out on life and not accomplishing what I should be. Life is also boring without addy. There's very little emotion or passion. Since I abused it in the past I would hope I would be smarter this time and never take more than 20-30 mg on any given day. Idk... This is just how in feeling now. Take care, everyone! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 I've been feeling kinda like that too sometimes lately. the very thing I've put my whole life into isn't really sparking my passion right now. it's tempting to look towards a quick fix. before I say any more, congrats on 6 months clean thats amazing and inspiring! my approach is I'm going to ease myself off the path I'm on. Finish my program with minimal effort (i.e. just get the piece of paper so this all wasn't a waste) and then I'm going to go find my true passion. Remember what it felt like when adderall stole that from you in the first place! Remember why you quit in the first place! EDIT: I always try to be careful and only speak for me, but in this case I will dare to say that if you abused adderall in the past, in my judgement, there is almost no chance of going back to using it responsibly. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychgirl617 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, Kev9765. I can relate to the feelings of inadequacy around accomplishing things but the reality is that we have to sit with those feelings and accept the pace that we are getting things done now that we're sober. Because if we go back to the drug, then the pendulum will inevitably have to swing back in the opposite direction, resulting in the "come down", the irritability, the exhaustion, the paranoia, anxiety and depression. While we may be able to accomplish more in the moment while taking Adderall, the consequences of doing so just simply aren't worth it in the long run. I don't know if what I'm saying is helpful, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand where you're at, that you're doing a great job with your sobriety (6 months is amazing!) and keep on keeping on because I promise you this feeling WILL pass. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Since I abused it in the past I would hope I would be smarter this time and never take more than 20-30 mg on any given day. The problem is that hope isn't a solid plan. That's how I felt after multiple attempts to quit where I'd end up back on it "hoping" I could manage to only take it once in a while as needed. Every time I ended up back where I was having to take it 7 days a week just to get out of bed. In the first few months (or longer depending on your history) after quitting, you're going to feel incredibly lazy and unproductive and out of balance. But by going back on adderall, you're swinging yourself back in the other direction and prolonging your potential recovery from using the drug. I'm 288 days clean and count every single day because I don't want to start over at day 1 again because it was so tough. I still have days where I want to go back on it. You have to remember the reasons you wanted to quit in the first place. Why did you find this website or post here in the first place? Remind yourself of that. Going on and off Adderall is a roller coaster you CAN get off of. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 This is precisely why quitting adderall is so difficult. At this stage you have the difficult task of developing some work habits. You will not hear angels sing when you open word to write. Great writers have phenomenal discipline. Many books have been written about productivity for writers . You will find inspiration and motivation in a good routine but it will be work. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted May 24, 2015 Report Share Posted May 24, 2015 Can you imagine how awful it would be to have to start over after getting through these past 6 months clean? Don't even think about it. I had to do a lot of writing without adderall and it was really strange at first but eventually I got used to it and things went back to normal. Keep in mind this is all normal as your brain reacclimates. Hang in there! And go to tickerfactory.com and create a sobriety ticker so you can take pride in what you have accomplished -- 6 months clean! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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