Day two of no adderall

[Beback17]

So, like most, I ran out of my meds early because I sometimes take more then prescribed.  This is day two without and I actually feel ok.  I'm definitely down for a nap and I am snacking more than usual.  Some pizza sounds great, lol.  but it isn't the shit storm hell I was expecting.  Maybe in a couple of days.  my doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm not going to lie, I will refill.  I want to stop though, because I've noticed some things that I don't when I'm on Adderall.  I actually noticed how much I love my boyfriend, and I noticed how is eyes lit up when he saw me this morning.  Instead of freaking out inside of my head with a ton of insecurities, I was just me and I enjoyed him.  We went trail running, which we usually do on Sundays.  I was able to keep up and the best part, my heart wasn't beating out of my chest and those weird goose bumps I usually get afterwards, not there.  Must have been the medication. Going to his place tonight to cook dinner and watch tv.  I'm looking forward to just being present with him. 

One huge fear that keeps me from quitting, and I know this is lame and stupid and feel free to call me out on my vain bullshit, is weight gain.  I don't want to gain too much weight.  I know this is under my control.  Another fear is my ability to "keep up" the intensity at work.  Anyways, this is all ego crap and in the long run it isn't what matters.

[Beback17]

I am beginning to feel the brain fog descend.

[Rightplace]

Your honesty is great. I respect it. Don't worry today if you aren't ready to quit just yet. You're already taking important steps noticing what it's like to be present when adderall is not in your system. You'll be ready to stop when you decide it's not worth it. When I went off it the first week, I noticed how much easier it was to be with my girlfriend and how less irritable I was. Maybe that's intriguing enough for you to try going off adderall? Maybe not and its just a window. Either way, keep being curious.

Keeping the weight down was also another reason I liked adderall. The crazy thing is that I wasn't obese before or anything. I just got picky with myself. I think us adderall users have our self-worth tied to being of certain image and certain productivity which leads me to believe I've had crap self esteem for a while. I look forward to addressing that now that I'm taking steps to be adderall free.

If you decide to go off it, maybe communicate about it with your boyfriend and ask for his support. Warn him you may gain weight initially and ask him for support with that as well. Since I quit I've been doing as others suggested and just letting myself eat whatever and gain a bit of weight for the short term , just to help with withdrawal. Eventually we can start exercising and building s healthy lifestyle.

[Beback17]

Thank you for your comment and not judging.  I totally understand the self-esteem deal and am going to schedule an appointment with a counselor to assist me with my perspective.  Not sure the boyfriend will be very supportive.  we have a very up and down relationship and after 4 months, we haven't moved forward as far as emotions go.  At least I don't think he has and my feelings will not continue to grow unless I have a partner who feels the same....oh well. 

Good luck in your venture to return to normalcy. 

I always check in periodically and post.  I like to hear the stories because it gives me hope.

Prost!

[BeginAgain23]

If you don't want any weight gain you should try the Plexus products. I was overeating and gaining weight because I was trying to get off adderall and I started taking plexus slim and it helped with the cravings immensely. It helps to regulate your blood sugar levels so you are more in control. Let me know if you want to know more about these. They were a life saver for me.  Still are.