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I'm so sorry for your experience.  This sounds so abusive to go through.

 

I wish you both the best.  Honestly, it's better for you to get out of this situation ASAP.

 

Either she actually stops taking these scripts when you leave, in which case she's going to have a agonizing reality check when she realizes how painful adderall and tramadol withdrawals are (and that you were the only support she had).  I've experienced both and tramadol is MUCH MUCH worse.

 

Or she will just continue to self destruct and that's not a situation you want to be in no matter how much you love her.

 

Being an addict is no walk in the park, but as many thoughtful posters on here have shown me, neither is loving an addict.

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No marriage papers here Bones...but I am walking beside you in hell holding your hand if that helps.Sometimes knowing someone else is in a parallel universe-a hellish parallel universe at that-well, sometimes it's comforting knowing that there are other people trying to find their way out too.  You helped me.  Thank you. 

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Hey Bones, Ive been divorced twice now my first was to my high school sweet heart which took 2 years to get over and the second was to my adderalic ex wife which was a 14 year relationship with 3 little girls who I did love deeply but she changed so much with the pills she will never return to that same person.  Pills just seem to change people forever in most ways. That took 2 months to get over.  

I look at it like this, if it was just love fading away or an affair of some kind or other marital bullshit then yes allow yourself to be heart broken for however long it takes but pills...fuck that! You and your kids deserve better so my advice is don't look back.  Just be truly happy your out and your future is wide open. No more suspicion for the next 50 years, no more lies. If she crosses your mind just imagine a life with a non addicted sweetheart and how awesome thats going to be. Someone you can trust and plan a future with. Its awesome!

I'm an optimistic person but statistically the chances of it and her getting better are slim to none and if she did chancea of relapsing are there forever.  I hate to say that and certainly dont mean to take hope away from the struggling people on here b/c it can obviously be done if you want it bad enough from what Ive read but Im a very pragmatic realistic person and i would never sugar coat living with an addict especially the mother of your kids.  It sucks.  But its not our fault. Its theirs and shes doing it to all of you, your kids and both sides of the family, your friends and not just you.

And yes divorce sucks but it happens, divorce just happens.  if it doesnt happen now because of her selfishness and disease think how hard it is for any marriage to survive these days.  I like being married and the thought of it lasting but even the people that make it forever seem like their miserable...lol!  I am sorry your going thru this but you probably did everything you could have.  Shit your on here arent you? shes probably not...I wish you and your kids a happy future so go make it happen for them and you.

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  • 7 years later...

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