House Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 Hello! I just found this forum and I really like what I'm seeing. Everything I've been able to read thus far has been inspiring. It gives me a great deal of solace to know that I am not alone. The first article I read was "7 personal traits most adderall abusers have in common" which I was able to relate to at an unprecedented level. My goal is to help as many others here as I can. I feel like I could contribute a lot here and helping others will no doubt put some insurance on my own sobriety. I'll be posting my story when I can. I just wanted to introduce myself to the community. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 welcome! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 Nice to have you on board. So what's your story how much how long etc? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 My story is quite lengthy and I'd to share my entire experience because it is so similar to the others that I have read. But to briefly answer your question I was prescribed to adderall as a kid, didnt start abusing it till I was a teen. Then from 18-25 I was taking something like 120mg/24 hours. Had two Rx's a month. Near the end I suffered from auditory hallucinations, was on the brink of taking my life, got admitted to a psych ward, went to jail for it, rehab 4 times, 3 halfway houses in 3 different states. Unfortunately, thats what it took for me to break free from the bind that adderall had on my life. Been clean from adderall since July of 2013. So 17 years total on adderall. Half of that time I was abusing it...though retrospectively, it was abusing me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted October 10, 2016 Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 My story is quite lengthy and I'd to share my entire experience because it is so similar to the others that I have read. But to briefly answer your question I was prescribed to adderall as a kid, didnt start abusing it till I was a teen. Then from 18-25 I was taking something like 120mg/24 hours. Had two Rx's a month. Near the end I suffered from auditory hallucinations, was on the brink of taking my life, got admitted to a psych ward, went to jail for it, rehab 4 times, 3 halfway houses in 3 different states. Unfortunately, thats what it took for me to break free from the bind that adderall had on my life. Been clean from adderall since July of 2013. So 17 years total on adderall. Half of that time I was abusing it...though retrospectively, it was abusing me. Wow, that is amazing!! I am so happy to have you on this site!!! Over 3 years clean - fantastic!! Can't wait to hear more! Welcome! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 10, 2016 Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 awesome that you have been clean for so long. congratulations! it's so nice that you want to participate and share here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 10, 2016 Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 Wow that's awesome I hope you can help give some good insights with your experience and background. What has been the one key to your long term success? Recently Ive been having more issues that I thought at this point would be resolved I feel like I'm doing something wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 Thanks for the welcoming guys its great to be here! The on key to my success has been having a strong sober network of friends that understand me. AA and NA or the fellowship as we like to call it helps tremendously. What sort of issues are you experiencing my friend?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 Just drag ass most of the day and lack of motivation it's really frustrating. It's like no matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired my 92 yr old grandfather has more get up and go then myself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 I still have days like this man. Doesn't everyone? How long have you been off of adderall? How much were you taking and for how long? Coffee helps me get out of bed in the morning and Wellbutrin helped a lot in the early stages of recovery. It has many stimulant like properties and it has zero chance for abuse. You'll feel god awfully sick if you take more than you're supposed to. Exercising really helped with me dude. It become my new addiction. It gives me something to stride for each and everyday and it also releases dopamine and endorphins as well as raising my self esteem, which is something all addicts struggle with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 . Been off now 10 months was on around 9 yrs 60 mg a day towards the final two years was getting up to 120 mg a day plus picked up a nasty daily pain pill habit. I exercise every other day but normally when I work it's pretty physical not sitting at a desk or anything. Maybe I should run everyday or something maybe that would help. I was on Wellbutrin but stopped it was not doing much for me except suppressing my appetite and I dont care for that. Anyways for instance today i was pretty good working until about 3pm now drained but I can't keep ending my days at freaking 3pm I have a lot of responsibilities to take care of it makes me frustrated still feeling like this i hate being lazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 For me the most frustrating aspect of sobriety is coming to terms with the fact that I am not able to perform and function at the super human level that I had grown accustomed to while taking adderall. I'll still accomplish what needs to be done, but it doesn't come as effortlessly and easily as say popping a pill. You're used to driving around in a Ferrari. Getting from A to B in record time with little to no effort. Now you're adderall free and driving around in a Ford Focus. It sounds worse than it really is. It's not as enjoyable and not nearly as fast as an Italian supercar but you're still able to get from A to B. At least you won't crash and burn as hard in your Ford as you did in your Ferrari. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 Found a good link..check out the med students post about the depression/anhedonia post adderall. https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1f12ls/suicidal_thoughts_and_adderall/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 I like your interpretation I just need to figure out how to upgrade my Focus to maybe a Mustang lol. I do not have false hopes of ever working hard as I did while on adderall just like to get back to where I was before. It's like I forgot exactly what that was maybe hypnotherapy would help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 Frank, I'm in the same boat. No matter how much I sleep, I still wake up tired. And not just "tired", but more like completely exhausted. 24/7. I can feel this exhaustion through my entire body. I feel it in my head, I feel it in my arms/legs/back... It just sort of feels like a heavy feeling, like I'm super weighed down. I keep asking myself if I will ever stop feeling like this. I still remember what "normal" felt like and it definitely was not like this. My boss took our entire staff to Vegas this past weekend and omg, it was pure hell for me. Everyone wanted to get out and see and do things all day and all night long. All I kept thinking was how badly I wanted to go to bed or go back home. Like come on... I was in freaking VEGAS and I was too tired to enjoy it one bit. I really hope this does get better. It is no way to live. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon Posted October 13, 2016 Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 PS - House, welcome to the boards!! I look forward to hearing your full story 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 @liltex -In my first year post adderall I experienced anhedonia. I just felt like I was going through the motions. Most addicts/alcoholics self medicate to correct some sort of underlying illness and I was no exception. I began treatment for major depressive disorder and it helped tremendously. @ frank -lol some days I'm in a mustang, other days, like today, I'm back in my focus 😂 -Hypnosis is in some what of grey area and most Psychologists use it for either behavior modification (smoking cessation) or to retrieve traumatic experiences/memories from the depths of the subconsious mind to the surface of the conscious. Also, you have to be a fairly open minded person and susceptible to suggestion for it to be effective. Make sure you find a licensed psychologist, not a psychiatrist or hypnotherapist. Let us know if you decide to go down that path; hynpnosis is very interesting and very cool. @bluemoon -Thank you for the welcome! I'm not going sit here and promise you that your future holds sunshine and unicorns. I can only tell you what worked for me. After a year of feeling numb, lethargic, and anti-social, I decided it was time to intervene. The post acute withdrawl symptoms should have dissipated by that point which meant to me that there was some sort of underlying untreated issue here. So I found a psychiatrist that specialized in substance abuse, was honest with him and I began taking anti-depressants. It wasn't a miracle fix by any means and it didn't happen over night. One day, a few months down the road I just remember feeling like a "normal" happy functioning person. Btw, I don't know why I keep putting off my story lol. It is quite lengthy, and tbh some of its really bat-shit crazy. I'll get around to it... I'm a procrastinator...I'll tell you about it sometime 😂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 13, 2016 Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 I wonder if taking ecstasy it would help balance things out? Ha jk I did it once along time ago before I did adderall it was really awesome but the crash after was horrible kinda how I feel now all the time. I think the effects we suffer are pretty similar to those who abused ecstasy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 @frank lol yea our POS ford's will be rolling out on X. Literally lmao. I tried MDMA/molly/ecstasy once for about a week lol. Felt like complete $h1T for the next couple days. Yes its very similar. MDMA, the psychoactive ingredient in molly and ecstasy, basically releases ALL the serotonin in your brain as well as some dopamine and oxytocin (neurotransmitter released by affectionate actions). It can take days weeks even for proper levels of serotonin to be fully replenished again. I knew people that would work on molly, taking it 5 days in a row. How they were able to function is beyond me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 14, 2016 Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 Been feeling a lot better last two days energy spike big time! Why , not sure I'll take it been working out harder so maybe it's paying off. Did anyone else have problems with being unable to make decisions coming off this stuff? It's really hard for me to do my job at times when I try to sell something but so unsure of myself it's really hard to guide potential buyers in the right direction. What is something you can do to overcome this if it is not just me? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duffman Posted October 14, 2016 Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 Frank, I am absolutely experiencing a difficult time making decisions. I'm driving my clinical instructor and co-workers nuts lately with frequently changing my mind or generally not committing to an action or answer. It's weakening my position in their mind and my subordinates aren't trusting my judgment lately. I've been reading a few books lately trying to find a solution, but no strategy has yielded any significant results. My girlfriend has also noticed I'm experiencing trouble making decisions , which has affected our relationship because she's never been good at making decisions and liked how decisive I used to be. Truly frustrating. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paydensaxton123 Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 Hello Everyone! Thanks to all that have been inspired to share, I seriously read everything I could possibly find on quitting my addictions and just when I was about to stop looking this site came up on google. What an inspiration it was to me in my process of quitting Adderall, and pain pills. Thanks for welcoming me. Please note that anything I write is from an openminded and anything is possible with the power of the human mind point of view. I don't mean anything personal, and if it is not for you then that is that, we don't all have to have the same beliefs to believe in the same things:) Thanks again and I look forward to helping any of those in need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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