Nicole88

8 months!

2 posts in this topic

So tomorrow marks 8 months of freedom from adderall. I seriously cannot believe it- I did not think I could live without it. For a long time, I was sure it would kill me and to be honest, I didn't care. When it was good, it was great, but once it turns on you, there's no going back. The good times were long gone, and I was living my own personal hell. Even then, I couldn't see a way out. Things came crumbling down around me, and I was lucky that in a moment of clarity and utter desperation, I saw just how much worse it was going to get if I didn't make a drastic change. I had to admit complete defeat to my family, my boss, and the few friends I had left. I was incredibly fortunate enough to take four weeks of FMLA leave to go to rehab. It was the most humbling experience of my life to admit that this illusion I built around my life was a complete lie. I wish that had actually been the hard part, but of course, the real test has been back home and at work. It has been tremendously challenging, but I continue to see progress, although like it has been mentioned so many times before, it is not a linear process. Ive still got so far to go and so many consequences im

still dealing with, but all I can do is take it one day at a time.  Anyways I just wanted to celebrate this milestone and reflect on the what has really been the hardest time in my life. I also plan on posting my full story soon. I am so incredibly grateful for these forums, the support here is unparalleled. 

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Beautiful post!!!  So glad to hear you made the decision to seek treatment and take care of yourself.  That's great!

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