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KimRelli

I need to stop!

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Hey guys. I've been here before under other names, but I thought I'd start fresh — and it's so hard to remember those darn passwords. 

Long story short I quit in 2015 after taking Adderall for five years or so. I was sober for almost a year. 

I'm so mad at myself for going back to it. I honestly thought at this point in my life I could handle it, but I was wrong. "I'll just take it as prescribed this time." A nice idea. Nice and impossible. Tolerance is an awful thing. 

Planning on tapering. To be honest, I don't really have a plan yet. Last time I went could turkey. It was so hard on my brain, though, so I'll see if I can do it the hard way. 

So glad for this site. I'll keep you posted on my journey. 

God bless you all

 

 

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You've already managed to previously accomplish an admirable task of being sober for 1 year...you can totally do it again! 

Relapsing sucks. I currently am starting at Day 1 after binging the last 10 days or so. Before that I had 6 weeks clean so I'm pretty bummed I went back to the little orange demons. 

Hang in there, you can do this!

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Thanks for coming back. Although quitting sucks even at a year for most I've yet to see anyone give in and be happy with their decision. I've been at a big crossroad in my life with career etc I seem to blame my inability to make a decision because I'm not on adderall and not motivated. But truth is these problems have been coming for along time in part because I was so doped out on addy. It takes a very strong person to quit even stronger to quit again I've tried and failed twice but now on the longest stretch of I think 15 months now (damn this site for taking our tickers away!) . I would suggest while your still on it write a couple times in a journal or whatever why you want to be off it so bad. Save those for your weak days when you feel like giving up. What I've noticed is the further away I go from my stop date the less I look back on the negative sides of adderall and looked at what I accomplished on it. Not gonna lie did some amazing things on it often wonder "Who was that guy?". But the side I forget was somone waking up everyday taking a pill then could feel my heart race like I just ran a marathon or sometimes being up all night and pissed seeing the sun come up because I knew the days reality of family work was ahead. I just wanted to be by myself working on my projects all the time. 

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Thanks for the support, guys. 

That whole year I was off it was hard. The first three months I really did think, okay you're done. Forever. But as I got farther I kept thinking in the back of my head that maybe I could go back. Stupid. 

You can't ever go back. 

 

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