Maude

http://i.imgur.com/B2RE6my.jpg

Fuck the picture don't appear : (

Now I think I'm on my day 12 or 13. Getting better, my focus is comming back and my fun to draw/paint too. Well, that's a silly drawing and I laughed so much while doing it. I really feel that way since I stopped and that's cute.

Oh well, it's always hard in the morning and I only start feeling good very late, like 6pm. I take naps during the day, and it's something I never did even when I was a child. But I always feel better after naps, I feel like my vody needs it. But I hate that haha ! Also the fact that I don't paint anymore... I don't dare to try, I'm affraid to be too frustrated. I take my time and I don't care how much time it will take, tho. I'm Less stressed, happier in general (even if I feel dizzy). I really don't miss my old self on adderall. I maybe feel like I was doing more things but in fact, i spent so much time doing nothing relevant, being lost in my 7473647 ideas and thoughts, playing in my hair, being so stressed that i was never doing what i had to do... or just sometimes. I maybe felt like superman but I wasn't. And when you're high, you speak so much because you're affraid to lose your idew0a and listen so little. I feel like I'm a better person for those I love. And not being a freaking rollercoaster anymore... I hate how I feel psysically but it's worth it and it's getting better everyday. And defenetly less awful than I thought I would be.

Hi, my dears. English is not my mother language so I'm sorry for the following mistakes. I've been on adderall since I'm 13 years old and I'm about to turn 23. I've always been an artist and it was tempting to take more adderall to be able to focus 12 hours non-stop and create crazy masterpieces. And I don't even want to talk about how awesome I felt on adderall. But as all of you, I went through hell with it, developped anxiety and wanted to die every once in a while. I was tired to be a psycho-awsome-not-so-awesome-sad kid, tired of my life going nowhere because of it. Because i was always abusig it. I've been on this forum several times before, reading your stories but i never had the guts to do it. And I finally did, 2 days ago. The two first days were hell, I felt bad in my body, I slept all the day, wasnt even able to read for more tham 10 minutes... and this morning I forced myself to do at least the dishes, exercised a little bit and felt better. I motivated myself to go outside do things I had to do, did it. I started to feel bad again, cried, tried to sleep to forget and when I woke up, I almost felt normal!!! I remembered I took fish oil in the morning without any kind of hope about it, I was just desesperated...but shit! Most of my withdrawal effects are gone, today I did more things that I was doing on a normal adderall day, and it's only day 3 ! I almost can't believe it, I took it during 10 years ! Seriously, today I was so happy that I cried. I can't wait to see how I'll feel in a month. I bought other natural stuff and also yerba mate, I'll try it tomorrow.