msb1128

Very good input. Thank you! No way will I go back to adderall even if I fall off the wagon with caffeine. I don't have any and have told my doctor I can't take it. I never want that in my life again. I do have an all or nothing outlook on many things, though, so it makes it tough. Maybe I should be happy I've even made it down to one or two cups a day. I just have a lot of healing to do still after the adderall. It ran me into the ground. I have nutritional deficiencies, IBS, hypothyroidism, adrenal fatigue, and other hormone imbalances. All were made much worse by adderall. I also just reintroduced gluten after six months off and now have these crazy hives, so I know I'm gluten intolerant. No more guessing. I had eliminated almost all sugar and dairy too but slid back into that more recently, partly on purpose to test it out. So I guess I'm a bit of a health nut too, Frank, and now I've got a lot of cleaning up to do after the mess adderall made of my body. Going back off gluten, added sugar, most dairy, and hopefully caffeine.

Hey! I quit adderall about eight months ago and haven't looked back. So glad to have that wretched crap out of my life! I have adrenal fatigue, which was made worse by the adderall and any kind of stimulant. I know when we first quit adderall many of us couldn't imagine not having caffeine to help us cope, but I need to let go of caffeine now too. I know it's keeping me wired and tired, and in that sense I'm using it sort of like "adderall light." Has anyone eliminated caffeine at some point and felt better? I'm down to one or two cups of coffee a day - down from about four cups, but just like the adderall, I'm kicking and screaming trying to give up that last little bit. I need motivation! Tell me how much better I'll feel!!! Wishing you all well tonight.

Excellent advice above! I will say that I personally could not quit cold turkey while I was working. I'm a college professor and psychologist. My brain would have been fried, and it could have been bad. Tapering down wasn't working because of the psychological hold adderall had on me. I found myself always going back up on my dose and had one excuse or another ready to justify taking just a bit more that planned. You know how it goes. I knew I had to do this cold turkey, so I took some time off at the end of the semester. After a couple weeks, I was still a little loopy, but the worst was over and I could function enough to get by. I think the ability to quit cold turkey and still be semi-functional depends on the person, the dose, how long you've been taking it, and what demands you have on you. Some here have made it through pretty much keeping up with normal life. I couldn't, especially given the fact that I needed to be able to think very clearly in my line of work. If you're on a lower dose and you can operate at a decent level just dropping the drug, definitely do it ASAP. Don't keep taking it any longer than you have to. If not, consider quitting over your next break or taking a couple weeks off as soon as you possibly can (Over the holidays? I know that would suck but it would be the best gift you could give yourself!!!). I swear to you, I think much more clearly now off adderall than I ever did on, and my imagination is back. I feel like I'm sharper and finally have my mind back. My feelings too. I'm human again. It's SO worth it! Granted, I don't have ADHD. My adderall was prescribed for mental fatigue (terrible idea), so it just turned me into a robot that could think fast but not think smart. I don't know if you have ADHD or not, but I suspect if you've made it this far in school studying a subject like this and have only taken adderall for a year, you got really, really far without the adderall. In that case, you probably don't need it and will be much better off without it. One more thought: Someone here encouraged me to really prepare for my quit and when I was absolutely ready, to go for it 100%. The more you quit and start back on, you start convincing yourself you can't quit for good. The idea gets stronger every time you relapse. Of course it's a lie. You can quit and relapse 100 times and then get serious with attempt 101 and make it, but you psych yourself out and start thinking it will never stick the more you relapse. So plan well, get all ready, and then go and never look back! You can do this!

Hi Bluemoon, I'd be miserable up there in the dark too now that winter is coming! Have you considered getting one of those therapy lights to treat depression and seasonal affective disorder? It really helps in the winter and gives you a boost of energy too. I'm in the Detroit area, and the long winter months are bad enough here! Even if you don't think you can move right away, do you think you could start taking specific steps to plan for your move? Start really exploring your location options, deciding on a move date and starting to do the prep work now? Maybe if you could see progress toward your goal to move, it would show you the light at the end of the tunnel to get you through the rest of your time up there. You would know that although you still have some time left there, you're in a sense already on your way!

That's wonderful!!! I think we'd all prefer to taper if we could, but obviously it doesn't work for many. So glad it did for you!

Remembering how I felt the first week, I'd say mostly give yourself permission to be lazy. You need a lot of rest to recover from what adderall put your body though. However, it's never too early to start taking some SMALL steps toward rebuilding your health and creating new healthy habits - trying to eat some healthy things (but also giving yourself permission to have some treats to make this difficult time more manageable), moving a little bit like a shorter walk or run, getting a few things done to keep up with things so you don't find yourself way behind in the weeks to come. With everything, keep goals small and concrete right now. Nothing that takes up too much time or is too complicated since you won't have the mental energy to focus on any one thing for long or think through any complicated task. Small goals that are attainable also help you feel like you are still accomplishing something. If your main concern is exercise and food, I'd be focusing on balance - again some exercise but shorter sessions maybe, and a balance of foods that allow you to wallow in your misery a little (LOL) but also know that you are starting or maintaining healthy eating habits. Just don't go overboard with anything right now or be too hard on yourself. Now is not the time.

FrankB, you may be right about the depression. When depressed I tend to not eat as opposed to overeating. It's weird that I've gained all the post-adderall weight anyway. Oh well. Paradoxically I may need to actually eat more and start working out to revive my metabolism and get back to where I was before adderall. Definitely I would say skipping meals is not helpful. My blood sugar tanks, the adrenaline kicks in, and this is really bad with me trying to recover from adrenal fatigue, which I know the adderall contributed to, at least in part.

Frank B, last time I was on I remember you were really struggling. It's great to hear you're doing so well!!! Sounds like you're over the worst and on your way! Danquit, the anxiety thing is indeed weird. You would think you'd be less anxious giving up a stimulant like adderall since it sometimes can rev you up too much, but I went through a period about two months into quitting where I was very anxious. It was this constant feeling of dread, like always sensing something horrific was about to happen. I guess maybe the adderall gave us a shot of confidence, albeit artificial confidence, while we were taking it. :/

Quick question: Like many of you I have gained 15-20 lbs since quitting. It's annoying but I'm not too worried. Just so relieved to be clean, which is more important. Anyway, so many people seem to report having a voracious appetite after they quit. In my case it seems my appetite has still not come back. The adderall destroyed it. I was almost never hungry and had to make myself eat. Strangely enough this has continued. Has this happened to anyone else? All I can think of is that the adderall had me in near starvation mode most of the time (no history of eating disorders, just not hungry), so maybe it wrecked my metabolism. Now that I'm off I've had the typical weight gain - maybe I'm eating just a little more??? - but for the most part I have no natural interest in food. That part has not really changed since I was on adderall. The only other possible theory: I think I've heard that some nutritional deficiencies can actually cause loss of appetite, and I'm sure while I was on adderall I had some major deficiencies developing due to not eating enough. I should mention I have adrenal fatigue and hypothyroidism too in case that could be related in any way. It's just so weird because it's not at all what I would have expected since so many others talk about wanting to eat everything in sight. I wish I could enjoy my food again, especially since I'm three sizes bigger now anyway! Lol!

Thanks for all the great feedback and encouragement. I've not been on since I first posted this. Too much going on in my personal life, etc. But I'm still off adderall. I never looked back. So it's been over four months now! I think my moods are starting to even out thankfully. It's hard to say what's what though. I have been on Zoloft at different doses for half my life now. I was on a very small dose when I quit adderall and I did decide to go up on the dose for a while. I'm back down again. I don't know what to do about the zoloft. I have a real love/hate relationship with it. I hate taking any medication unless absolutely necessary and would like to someday get to a point where I can wean off of that too, but extremely slowly. At least I don't have a crazy addictive relationship with the zoloft, so in that regard it's less complicated. Also, my cat died not long after I quit adderall. We were best buddies, so it's been a rough summer with a lot of grieving and stress with other pets who are older and sick to complicate matters....I'm so glad to be rid of the adderall though. I cannot tell you what a relief it is to be free of the roller coaster highs and lows and thinking about it all the time. I had my life organized around when I took it, and now I can just live my life - no longer a slave to this stupid pill. Anyway, I thought I'd check in and give an update and thank everyone for their replies. I hope you all are doing well.

Hey! I was on 30mg and quit cold turkey on 5/13. This Friday will be four weeks. I'm past the serious can't think/can't move phase and am settling in for the long haul. I am definitely experiencing some of what I expected based on others' experiences: mild depression and anxiety, an overall sense of dread and impending doom, lack of energy and motivation. I think I can deal with that and hope it will ease up eventually. I've gained ten pounds so far, weirdly even without an increase in appetite, but I don't even care about that for now beyond not being able to fit in most of my pants. I will deal with that eventually. What's really difficult is the wild mood swings I'm having. I do have a history of depression, but it always used to show up either as major depressive episodes that were relatively brief but nearly disabling, or longer periods of dysthymia, just low-level blahs. Others in my family were more prone to everyday moodiness and dramatic outbursts of despair or anger, but for the most part when not in a real full-blown depression I've been pretty steady mood-wise for most of my life. This changed with adderall. I was up when it was in my system. High really. Then I crashed on the way down pretty badly sometimes. I feel like adderall made me bipolar! The problem is I'm still having these mood swings. I can be fine (or fine for coming off adderall - just in a general mopey state but sometimes pretty normal) and then the slightest thing happens and something flips a switch in my head. Seriously from one minute to the next, I hate everyone and everything. Everything is doom and gloom and totally hopeless. I want to lie down and die (NOT suicidal) or I attack those around me. I'm not physically violent, but I attack those I love with words, by withdrawing from them, and with my generally vicious critical attitude about everything when I'm in that state. It's not the real me, and it's very scary that I can't seem to control it or pull myself out of it sometimes for a whole day. I feel so bad for my husband who is taking the brunt of this. I think he is almost scared of me and so nervous because he never knows now on a given day if I will be Jekyll or Hyde. Unfortunately he has only known me since I've been on adderall and now that I've quit, so I don't think he can even imagine what I was like before I started having my "fits," as he calls them. I was NOT like this before adderall. Can anyone relate to this? Anger and extreme moodiness caused by the adderall and/or coming off of it? Will it ever go away? Any tips to help me or those around me who are affected by it? Thank you!

Thanks for the input, everyone. I've been off the site for a while finishing up the semester. Now that my grading is done I can take some time off. I am getting ready to quit the adderall now, stocking up on food and movies and everything my poor old sick cat needs - her meds and diabetes supplies (gotta keep on top of that somehow in the midst of this!), and I just cleaned my place today. It's like planning for a vacation. Except this one might not be so pleasant. The cat and I will just hunker down for a while. My husband is pretty scared, but I have arranged things with people we trust who know me best he can talk to if there's a problem. I am aware of the risks with benzos and the like (Ambien is in a class called hypnotics, but yes, acts similarly to benzos). My doctor has talked to me in the past about tapering. I figured that's what I would need to do with those. I just wanted to get others' opinions on it too and particularly if now would be a good time to lower doses. I did think cold turkey with those would be disastrous. So all of you putting out warnings, that is sound advice. I think I will be so tired without the adderall I will probably need less of the other two. I will keep taking some regardless, even if I'm so exhausted I somehow feel like I don't need it. Maybe a slightly lower dose, and maybe it will indeed be a good time to start a taper on those. We will see how it goes, but I definitely won't do anything drastic with those two. Nasty stuff. All of it!

Thanks, Liltex! I don't know about the ambien, but I've always heard klonopin should be tapered. Especially if you are taking higher doses. At high doses it functions as an anti-seizure medication, so stopping abruptly can actually cause seizures even if you've never had them before. I doubt this would happen at my dose, but who knows. I will get some more info on this, and maybe just see what I need when I go off the adderall. If I'm falling asleep all the time as it is I may not need the ambien unless dropping it abruptly causes changes in mood or other problems, which is a possibility. I will take the klonopin as needed, which is what I do anyway (with an average dose of 1.0mg per day). I was just wondering if I should officially work on dropping them at the same time, if that would be a good thing or a really bad thing. I remember some people here talking about increased anxiety when they drop adderall, which got me thinking maybe that would not be a good time to stop the klonopin! I hate that I've got all these meds to deal with, but thankfully it's relatively small doses of each. The adderall is going to be the worst because I know I have a psychological addiction going on. I don't think I feel the same way about klonopin. I don't "look forward" to taking it the way I do my adderall doses. If nothing else I'm tired of the space adderall is taking up in my head just thinking about it. Definitely looking forward to filling my mind with more worthy things.

Hey! I'm planning to quit in May when I will have some time off. I'm on 20mg per day, give or take, and have been for a few years. I'm gearing up for a cold turkey quit since I don't think I can do a taper without caving. I have no idea what lies ahead of me. I'm honestly terrified given what others are saying about the experience, but I can't stand living like a soulless robot anymore either. I've been on a low dose of zoloft for many years and am not too concerned about that at the moment. In a perfect world, I'd like to be rid of that too, but it's low on the list of priorities since I tolerate it pretty well and may really need it. My number one concern is definitely adderall, so that's got to go, but over the years the docs have gradually added other meds - klonopin 0.50mg twice a day and ambien 5-10mg at night. I am not abusing these and am taking them as prescribed, but I really, really want to quit these too. I was so much better off without them as well. I quit klonopin by tapering several years ago without too much trouble and wasn't on it again until the last couple years. I know it can be rough though, and my experience this time might not be like the last one. I have no idea what I can expect with the ambien. Since klonopin and ambien are sedating, would it make sense in any way to quit these at the same time as adderall? I'm wondering if I might not need them or as much of either one (or both) if I stop adderall. I think the adderall and the klonopin/ambien kind of exist in a weird balance so I'm not too far up or down. Yes, very messed up, and unbelievable that even at relatively low doses they have affected my life the way they have! I do realize the idea that not needing one means not needing the others might be totally faulty, though, and it might be complete madness to even think about quitting more than one medication at a time. My doctor's advice on this is useless since she seems to think this is all no big deal, and if for some reason I want to quit these meds I can just taper off of everything in a matter of weeks and go on my merry way. I think we all know that is not going to go down that way! Does anyone have experience quitting adderall, benzos, and sleeping pills? If so, how did you do it and in what order? Any advice would be appreciated. So would encouragement as I prepare to embark on the adderall quit. That at least has to go, and I won't jeopardize that by being over-eager and trying to do too much at once. Unless all at once is the way to go for some reason...