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4.5 YEARS of chasing my tail


eric

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Welcome back! Honestly, I saw so much of my old self when I was reading this. We are all similar in so many ways, the only variants really being how much and how long. I took 6-10 20mg Adderall IR a day for 3 years, give or take. I have been sober coming up on 2 months and I truly gave up on the thought of becoming sober a long time ago. For me, it took drastic changes (moving schools out of state, etc). I feel like it's helped me be more comfortable with rewiring my brain because it's all new territory, and I really think that's the only way I could have gotten sober but of course that's an extreme example and there are so many life changes you can make that can help you recover. If I have any advice it would be to keep coming onto this website, even if you continue using. You mentioned you're in an okay spot w/ your job to start detoxing, so I would. You might not be in that spot forever. You might think you're doing okay in your workplace but lets be real, you're high everyday. It's noticeable. It will catchup. You should stop while you can because I promise you your addiction will get worse. Start researching what detoxes are like and just start. Just do it, even if you relapse. Good luck

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On 9/29/2018 at 11:00 PM, eric said:

I've been actively trying to quit these meds since January of 2015 and it truly makes me sad realizing how much I've missed and given up just by taking that little pill. 

good! sounds like your head is in the right place about this, but if you haven't already in this past 2 years, now is the time to come clean with your Dr. and cut off your supply

let's be real - the reason you keep refilling your script every month, even though you really really don't want to, is because you can. if you simply can't, the decision is made for you, no? as with every piece of advice you will find on this site, it is easier said than done.. but you have a stable job, and understanding boss, and a loving supporting family. what more can you ask for? NOW is the time to cut this shit out.

good luck and keep us posted (:

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I agree w sleepy. Tell your Dr.  Its a scary thought, I know, but the feeling you’ll have when you leave that appt- it’s WOW. You only get one life. Youre only get a few years to experience being Superman in your kids eyes..... I’m about 3 months clean after 7 years and my youngest is 8.  I’ll never get those years back.  The guilt is real.  But I’m here now.  And telling my dr ended the constant obsession w refill dates and all of it.  That feels better than 200mg of addy any day.  Closing that chapter feels freeing.  You can do it.  ❤️

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