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Greg

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Posts posted by Greg

  2. One Word Status Update

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    This has been the worst slate of summer movies ever. I love films but this summer was astoundingly disappointing.

    Expendables 3 - 1 and a half stars.

    Mel Gibson was good as the villain. The fact that the whole cast are 90s action stars made it feel very outdated. I think jet li was photoshopped into the film using unused footage from the last Expendables, lol. You only see him for a few seconds shooting a gun. I found that hilarious because he is all over the posters. It was interesting to see Wesley snipes back on camera. Anyway, 1 and a half stars. Maybe 2.

    I then snuck into sharknado 2 and that was a lot of fun, it's so ridiculous and the special effects are so bad -- it's just awesome, lol.

  3. One Word Status Update

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Ready for my am flight.

    Off to another film...in case u all were wondering why I am seeing so many films I have this monthly fee based movie pass

    http://m.moviepass.com/

    So if I don't see enough movies, i start overpaying for movies. Im definitely canceling it after the exppendables 3 tonight.

    You have to see quite a few movies to make it worth it.

    Wait, ooh...sharknado 2 is playing with a special screening tonight! I've seen it but not on the big screen.

    • Like 1

  6. Did adderall cost you your job?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I was "fired" though it was more like I wanted to be fired from my 10 year career in advertising. Months later I realized what a colossal mistake I had made. Likely my greatest failure in my career I am determined to rebound from it. Though I am still haunted by it, impossible to ignore I worked for a large media outlet.

    My heavy adderall use caused me to be late, erratic, prone to crazy misplaced outbursts of creative energy. My employer tried to find me help, in my psychosis I decided the assigned physcoligist had it all wrong etc. Finally my employer let me go with benefits, severance for 6 months. I am thankful for this because I began getting clean 3 months or so after getting fired. The severance gave me time to sleep and recover. Something I desperately needed after countless all nighters and poor self care.

    Adderall taught me that corporate life is just a stupid game, and should be approached that way.

    It sounds like u wanted to be fired because u knew deep down u needed a break to deal with it. You're lucky you got 6 months severance and time to rest to kick this. If that's what you want ZK (and I'm not sure if that's what u want), you'll back in the 'stupid game' of corporate life when you choose to actively persue it again,

    Definitely cost me a couple of jobs (due to the performance gap between how I was actually performing vs how I felt I was performing (I always felt I was amazing and that they had simply failed to recognize my genius)). I also found the job search extremely challenging when I was on Adderall. I never had this problem BA (before adderall). Between drinking, smoking, gambling, video games, random raging, ruining relationships, watching tv shows/movies, online dating/internet porn (just to name a few of my hobbies) I just couldn't find the time to look for a job (internet porn wasn't going to index itself) and I would often say it would be even worse if I weren't on Adderall. I'm starting to think that this might not be true.

    I can so relate to the gap between how you felt you were performing and how you were actually performing. Adderall blinds to how we are really being perceived in the office. An adderall addict always feels like an invincible star employee

    While on Adderall, I was fired from the following jobs, and the amount of time I worked at each before I was fired:

    - conference director, six months;

    - legal assistant, 18 months;

    - project assistant, six weeks;

    - legal assistant, eight months; and

    - selling tickets for a comedy club, six hours.

    I never attributed Adderall for the above stellar professional track record, but looking at it like this, perhaps I ought to?

    If you were fired from all those, well an addiction definitely sounds like a logical reason behind that. I never liked to attribute my problems to addiction. I always blamed it on something else. But now that I have sobriety under my belt, my problems ALL came from addiction.
    • Like 1

  7. What moment did u realize adderall had taken over your life?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Probably when I was taking it everyday and not just on school days. Even days where I was doing nothing or watching movies or even on days I was hungover or working out. Why would I need it these days? Come on now. Because I was clearly addicted.

    One time a few years into my 7 year addiction, while in college, I flushed them all down the toilet because I was so sick and tired of taking them and being so freaking dependent on a pill and then freaked out a few days later, called my doctor and got more like no. big. deal. Even though I said I wanted to stop taking them.

    SO glad I finally did!

    Flushing it down the toilet is so ineffective. All u have to do is go get the prescription again. That's why cutting of the doctor is the best way. I distinctly remember when I starting taking aadderall to watch entertainment. I went to to see a broadway show and I was SO engrossed it. I started taking it to read for pleasure to watch movies etc...no longer to study. That was a big turning point in my addiction too.

    The moment I realized I was an addict was after I was fired from another job, paying out of pocket for a doctor's visit, then retail price at the pharmacy. No insurance discounts. No income on the horizon. Foolishly handing out cash for another fix of pills. Brand only, of course.

    that sounds like me although I could go with generic not just brand.

    The Moment I Should Have Realized It (this list could go on forever):

    • When I thought everyone should be taking Adderall and offered them some of mine
    • When I saw 2 doctors to keep me in the 160mg IR/per day lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to
    • When I went to the doctor last year and was 280 lbs with a resting heart rate of 105 and BP 170/120
    • When I had my first Ischemic Stroke (practice/training stroke)
    • When I had my second Ischemic Stroke
    • When I had a Hypertensive (High BP) Hemorrhagic Stroke (blew a gasket) and nearly died last year (8 days unconscious in the ICU
    • When the first words out of my mouth upon my release from the hospital, "When can I get back on Adderall?"
    The Moment I Realized that Adderall had Taken Over My Life:

    • The moment I realized that I accomplished more in the year after the stroke without Adderall than I did during 13 years with Adderall.
    Wow--Andreas. Was adderall the cause of those strokes? ( high blood pressure)

  10. Relapsed - So Ashamed

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Just pick yourself back up asap. I was able to get 90 days clean with outpatient therapy and then I relasped for many years unfortunately. I lost more time and struggled more than i needed to struggle. So i dont know what its going to be like when you dust yourself off and pick yourself up - but maybe someone else can chime in. Definitely be sure to tell him. And keep being strong!

    • Like 2

  12. Relapsed - So Ashamed

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hey GTDRFB,

    I know it's tough to post relapses and I commend u for the courage. I would tell him, so he doesn't let be around your presence. What else can you do? You have dust yourself off and pick up where you left off. Tell him to keep it out of your site. Good luck, keep us posted.

  22. GNC...omg, why?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    awhile back someone mentioned this powder called Craze or Kraze, it is marketed for body builders. I got some and it tasted like tang, and ya, it felt suspiciously alot like adderall. I googled and read some scary stuff about the manufacturer. Who knows what was in that stuff.

    Krax. Where have you been??

  24. Articles on Adderall...

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    http://www.theverge.com/2012/7/26/3184496/hacked-brain-adderall-cautionary-tale

    From the verge article -- "At no point did the alarm bells sound quite so clearly as the first time I couldn't find any Adderall. A few months back, during a well-documented shortage with possibly nefarious roots in Israel and China, there just wasn't anyone in my neighborhood that stocked the stuff anymore. I hit the gMap hard and called every pharmacy in increasingly wider circles from my home until I eventually found a Walmart 45 minutes away, in Duarte, where it was mercifully in stock. A distant memory of freshman psychology fluttered into my consciousness: for many alcoholics, the mere scent of booze is enough to induce a drunken state. I can't remember what gave me the bigger amphetamine rush, hearing the pharmacist other end saying "yeah, we've got some left," or the taste of a saccharine pink pill on my tongue as soon as I hit the parking lot. I had finally met my first addiction, and it lived in a Walmart parking lot, in the disheveled cart collector, without Katy Perry."

    • Like 1
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