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  1. Hi people. I'm not sure I have the energy right now to tell all my story here, as what I really wanted was to ask something, but i guess it makes sense to give some background: I'm a female on my 30s, a psychologist that more than once received a diagnosis of ADD, but no longer understands it under the same light that psychiatry does. My difficulty with staying foccussed on boring tasks or shifting my attention to something else when I'm doing what I love is part of who I am, and the improvements or changes I wish to work on myself should be achieved through exactly that: through work, on my own merit. For that, I chose to work on my soul making changes for good, rather than popping pills hoping for a magic cure of my hindrances. I will try to keep this short: I have been taking 70mg of Vyvanse as prescribed by the doctor - who I easily convinced I needed such high dose - for 3 years. Many times I abused it, taking double doses and crashing terribly the next day. Like most of us, I have reached a point that even taking only 30mg per day (the minimum dose) is making me a robotic, emotionless, never-pleased girl who is highly functioning for all the pointless things, whilst leaving the important projects in my life for later. I'm no longer proud of my beautiful, sparkling clean house whilst my book remains in the drawer waiting to be written. I'm disgusted with myself that I relied on that pill to do anything, and could barely reply a friend's text if I wasn't on it. I first tried quitting in January, when I told the psychiatrist I was addicted to it and didnt want Vyvanse to be available to me when I was ordering other meds at the chemist, and he said he would promptly remove it. 3 weeks in and I had to order inhalers at my GP, and I saw vyvanse still there, and I just ordered again. Now 6 months later I'm only on day 3, having binned my full months supply so at least I know I will go the full month without, and Monday I have an appointment in which I will have to lie and say I am feeling suicidal and plan to overdose on Vyvanse if they still make it available for me. I know it's very radical, but it's the only way doctors will listen. For now, I am couch-ridden on day 3 and despite being ok mentally due to all meditation I practice and books I read, my body hurts. Really hurts. And this is what I wanted to know from other people's experiences. I've been trying to learn what the heck is this I'm feeling, but had no success. So here goes: I feel extreme sensitivity around my skin, especially around feet and legs, sometimes around my arms and hands too. Even the sensation of clothing and the couch on my skin is driving me mad. Alongside this sensitivy in the skin, I feel some sort of painful discomfort inside, like on my muscles, or tissues, I dont know, it's so hard to explain, I've felt this before, but since I quit vyvanse it's so uncomfortable and at times painful that I can barely touch my feet in the floor as it sends shivers through my legs and feels very unpleasant. By the way, yes, I'm quitting cold Turkey, as I was already in a low dose and I was so disgusted and ashamed of being dependant on that crap. If anyone could help me figure out what this could be, or share if you have experienced the same it would be really helpful. I have been reading a lot of stuff online, and despite identifying a bit with neuropathy, I don't think it's the case here. Rather than that, I am looking forward to come out the other end in a couple of weeks because right now I'm so useless that even my cats are disappointed on me... at least I'm getting my sense of humour and personality back.
  2. Hi everyone, It has been nearly 3 years since my original post on here, declaring my plan to quit dexamphetamine after being on them for 13 years. I imagined myself being on here a lot through the journey, but it turned out I preferred to leave the whole thing behind and move on entirely. Now I am ready to share my story in the hope it can help others. I stuck to my plan and weaned down my dose over a period of about 6 months (from 6-7 pills per day down to 2 per day) then quit completely. (I was prescribed 10 per day and for some earlier years was taking this much, yikes!) To actually quit, I took a month of annual leave and started with a weekend meditation retreat, highly recommend this if it is at all possible. Great way to start to enjoy the feeling of slowing everything down and being in the moment. I thought in this first month I would want to sleep all the time and get really depressed, but I didnt. I meditated and exercised everyday to get some healthy habits going, and realised natural endorphins are amazing! Oh and I also quit a daily weed smoking habit at the same time. My partner at the time was very supportive cheering me on, which helped a lot. It was like I was getting to know my true self for the first time, which was actually a beautiful experience (and still is!). Going back to full time work was not as hard as I had imagined it would be (I work as a dietitian). Nobody seemed to notice. It hasn’t however been without some immense challenges which I am still dealing with, and Im sure would be different for everyone. One thing to bear in mind is that I was put on dexies as a treatment for bulimia at age 22. I was told I may have also had ADD but I don’t think so. So my biggest challenges since quitting have been anxiety and insomnia. I had been self-medicating with weed for many many years and stopped that cold turkey. I had also been taking sleeping pills, mostly over the counter but also prescribed, for many years while on the dexies. So I really messed with my sleep wake cycles. Looking back, it is unbelievable how much I was able to function with no sleep and no dexies! So many days I just managed to get through the day somehow, it was almost like I was a robot superhuman I would have 1 coffee in the morning, that was it. Now it has been 2 1/2 years and I haven’t looked back. I have moments where I am filled with joy everyday and just so grateful to be able to function without drugs. The only things I take now are melatonin and L-tryptophan, which both help with sleep. Although I don’t think it is bad if you do need other meds to get you through this process, whatever it takes it will be worth it! I still struggle with sleep and anxiety but it is overall improving. I wake up every 1 - 2 hours, but now I am often getting back to sleep more easily. I see a craniosacral therapist every 3 weeks who is amazing and helping to repair my nervous system. The other thing I have to admit is that I completely stopped socialising for about a year. This was necessary for me, I had to simplify my life as much as possible, and working full time took most of my energy! On weekends I would actually enjoy meditating and doing housework and cooking and just being in a relaxed state, and of course Netflix helps enormously I still get anxious if I make plans so my close friends know I am better with deciding to catch up on the day. I then also had a relationship break up - I left my partner as I had become such a different human. Once I had a clear head off all the drugs, I slowly realised I couldn’t picture a future together (I was also paying for everything for our whole relationship of 4 years and it became clear this was never going to change). So for the past year I have been living alone and actually loving my independence. Not having any social responsibilities attached to a partner has been a relief for me too. This is still something I need to work on, as I don’t really have much desire to socialise, especially not at night, as I am quite tired by then and I like going to bed early! But I have reconnected with a few very close friends and left the masses behind. I also really enjoy time with my family now, which I didn’t before because I was always hiding something! So I know this is a long post, I would just like to mention the tools that have helped me throughout this process. 1. Donna Eden 5 minute energy medicine routine - I do this every morning - it makes you feel so good. Sometimes I do it after lunch at work as well. I have read her books and did one online course but you can just follow along with the 5 min routine on you tube til you learn it. 2. Yoga most days at home - I love Yoga with Adriene on youtube, she is great! 3. Daily exercise - so important to get the endorphins flowing and feel empowered and energised - I love walking and listening to a good podcast (highly recommend WTF with Marc Maron) 4. Qi Gong - I did this almost daily for the first year - on youtube Lee Holden morning and evening qi gong sessions are great. Still go back to this when I feel anxious or stuck in my head, its like hitting a reset button. 5. Meditation - I use the Insight Timer meditation app - it is amazing so many great guided meditations on there. 6. Listening to self-help podcasts - I love Tara Brach and listened to her podcasts a lot while going for walks in the first year. Her meditations are great too and all are available on her website for free 7. EFT tapping - when I get into a bad patch - I use tapping as it seems to shift my energy quite quickly. Heaps of tapping videos on youtube - I really like Brad Yates. 8. Healthy eating - I did find my appetite increased off the meds (but not as much as I expected). Regular healthy snacks and proper balanced meals - loads of veg/salad, 1/4 plate carbs 1/4 protein with lunch and dinner to help feel full. I have put on about 2-3 kg since I quit, and am working on adopting a healthy body image and accepting this. 9. Ecstatic dance - I started this about 1.5 years in when I was yearning to connect with people but not feeling up for socialising. You go to a class and you dance your heart out and connect with all these people without having to have a conversation, suits me perfectly! Helped a lot when I started feeling very lonely and isolated. 10. Finally I have recently discovered epsom salt baths are a really nice way to relax if you are anxious, and a lovely way to unwind after work, or just to pass the time and nurture yourself So you can see I have really devoted my whole life to my healing for the past few years, it isnt easy but I truly love doing all those things. And it was necessary to use every tool possible after being on the meds for so long. I really hope this brings hope to anyone still contemplating quitting or those going through the process, if I can do it after 13 years on meds, anyone can! I honestly cant express how much better life is off the meds. You can truly connect with yourself and others on a much deeper level, it is beautiful. And I am accepting this is a slow process, I still have a long way to go but I will eventually find my way back to living a more social life again. If you made it this far, thanks for listening All the best to you all, Vanessa
  3. Some of the terrible things I'm reading here is really upsetting, I'm praying you all succeed in quitting all fraudulently promoted mind-messing drugs and dicover actually beneficial alternatives. I wanted you all to know that my ex-husband is telling me he benefited greatly from a ketogenic diet, I'll perhaps try it but I'm a bit afraid of losing weight on it. His depression is gone he says, he can't stop talking about how much better his concentration is. My own concentration was damaged by an overdose of a stimulant asthma inhaler I was given at an emergency room about 10 years ago. I've had good results from Transcendental Meditation and Reiki energy healing, I'm currently a Reiki Master. My asthma is gone, my ability to concentrate has never been better. It's taken me many years to get here but each year I've felt better. I'm completely convinced that switching from drug to drug and going up and up on more and more harmful chemicals only serves to drag one into worse and worse mental and physical equilibrium. Psychiatry is a huge, evil money making scam which serves only the pharmaceutical industry.
  4. About a week ago I started consistently meditating for 20 minutes a day, and my focus has never been better. I'd always meditated here and there, but not consistently enough to see results. So a week ago I started meditating for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night - crossed legged on the floor, spine straight, eyes open, and counting my breaths 1, 2, 3, 4, repeat. I do it in silence, no 'meditation music' or anything. This is the best method I've ever done to see results. It makes me focus on my breath, and just notice if and when my mind wanders. If it wanders, I start my count back at one. I believe consistent meditation like this is the cure for depression and anxiety, because it changes the structure of your brain to reduce activity in the areas associated with these responses. There's tons of articles you can read on this. My goal is to eventually up my practice to 30 minutes a day, then 40, as I get better and faster. Anyone want to join me?
  5. GREETINGS EVERYONE, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY... I'VE CREATED THIS TOPIC TO HELP US ALL IN FINDING SOME DIRECTION IN RECLAIMING OUR LIVES. SOooo....WITH THAT SAID.... "THE iPLEDGE CHALLENGE" is a feat I've been thinking through for a while now. It’s designed to assist each of us recovering addicts at any stage we may be in to slowly but steadily move unto our proper and rightful paths in life. The goal here is just as simple as the 30 and 60 day challenges aim, to bring a bit of mindfulness and deliberateness into our day-to- day lives as we reconfigure the answer to those nagging, "who am I" and "what's my true calling" post-adderall questions. While on Adderall our brains went on auto-pilot, coming into who we are truly meant to be now will take a bit of daily reconditioning. Thus, here are the iPledge guidelines: For simplicity, I’ve broken the rules into three sections: 1.) First, ask yourself these 3 important questions and answer it on this forum: a. What three words best describe my pre adderall persona? b. What three words best describe my persona post-adderall? c. What three words would you like to describe your current persona? For example I will use my own stats: a. PRE-ADDY: Funny, loving, smart b. POST ADDY: Anxious, boring (at times), driven c. IDEAL PERSONA: Accomplished, loving, happy 2.) Ask yourself what you can do starting right now to begin guiding yourself towards the long term goals expressed in question c. on number 1 (THE IDEAL PERSONA) and list them on this forum. Again I will use my own life as an example: a. To feel more joyous I will begin reading positive books, affirmations, quotes daily and try to memorize at least one I can use day-to-day as a mantra. b. To feel accomplished I will begin taking steps to enroll in school to finish my business degree. c. To feel happier I will practice taking out time for myself daily even if it is just a few minutes to meditate and realign my chakras. **3.) Ok, 1 and 2 were the hard parts. But if you’ve gotten them out the way and have made it this far then number 3 is the Action/mindfulness and most important part of the challenge. Just as with the 30 and 60 day challenge logging in/posting consistently is most helpful in this feat; still posting a few times weekly or at the end of the week to confirm or note otherwise will also serve this purpose. To complete task #3 participants must take into account their goals from question # 2 and write AT LEAST three things they will actively do throughout the week as a short term goal of the longer task. Number 1 and 2 are just pre-requisites and are only done once unless you decide to change your aims; NUMBER 3 IS THE CULMINATION OF THE ENTIRE CHALLENGE, THUS IT MUST BE DONE WITH CONSISTENCY TO BE MOST EFFECTIVE. WEEKLY OR WEEKENDS, WHICH EVER IS MOST CONVENIENT FOR YOUR LIFESTYLE, LOG IN AND POST WHAT YOUR GOAL FOR THE UPCOMING WEEK WILL BE. MAKE SURE TO DATE IT, FOR EXAMPLE 12/17/13-12/23/13, AND AT THE END OF THE WEEK RE-POST IF YOU HAVE MET YOUR AIM FOR THAT WEEK AND/OR NOTE ANY STRUGGLES YOU MAY HAVE HAD DURING THIS TIME. THIS CHALLENGE IS DESIGNED TO BRING US CLOSER AS A COMMUNITY, TO OUR TRUE SELVES, AND ULTIMATELY TO THE WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE OUR DAILY LIVES. ALL ARE WELCOME, SOoo WON’T YOU JOIN ME?? As an example for number 3, once again I will use my own life as art: It’s really simple and this is the only part that is continuously done. EX: Pledges I will accomplish during the week of 12/15 – 12/ 21 are; 575]1. I will Exercise 3 times for at least 20 minutes each. 575]2. I will send out 3 Resumes. 575]3. I will read 1 chapter of a new novel I’m reading. Now, at the end of the week I will re-post as to whether I’ve completed these three tasks. Do this step over and over and over weekly and that’s all. I love my little Quitting Addy family. Together Lets make this challenge a success as we support one another and make our dreams come true! Be Well!