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Fix posted a topic in Tell your storyHello everyone. I just wanted to post this article to tell you all about my story. I have been addicted to adderall for about 1 year now. The first time I tried it was in 2014 when I started my first year in university. I was 18 years old at the time, and didn't really care for trying it out. However, my friend offered me one of his prescribed adderall pills and I tried it. From that point on, I had only done it every so often. 2 years past, and I found myself in some trouble with the law. I was arrested for felony offences and thought my life was over. I had spent 6 months on bail conditions from May 2017 to October 2017, but thankfully my charges were dropped. However, I am mentioning this because this was the last straw in my downward spiral in life (during the time I started taking adderall I was still on bail conditions, thinking I was about to receive minimum 4 years in prison, thus my addiction had already started before I knew I was free). Also, what made me realize I was truly addicted was when I started taking doses as high as 60-70 mg (XR) daily, and started using it to get high, not even for days I had school work or needed to focus. Prior to this, I had always been a "polydrug" user as my councillor says, meaning I don't have one single addiction, but simply just an addiction to anything that would get me high. To summarize, I have dealt with many factors that have made me resort to adderall. As a child, I had grown up wealthy in a loving family for 8 years. At a certain point, everything went down hill when I was 9. My family lost everything, my parents divorced, my sister was raped, my house got raided, my family lost our house and several valuables. I was a child and stuck in the middle of it all, I felt worthless. Once I reached high school, I got into the wrong crowd and started doing several drugs and committing crimes. More issues occurred, as I had several relationship problems, continuous family issues, and arrests as a juvenile. Long story short, I became suicidal and felt even more worthless. After all of this, and some many other things I won't have time to mention (maybe save for another time), I resorted to adderall to deal with the stress I could manage (i.e. school and work) to compensate for everything I couldn't manage (i.e. family issues, legal issues etc.). Also, I take depression medication which hasn't helped and I have terrible anxiety but my doctor will not prescribe me any short term drug for it due to my past history with addictions (which is fair on her part). I started using hardcore for a full year from 2017 till now, and I recently overdosed. I had taken too much adderall and it accumulated all into this one dark day. I arrived home at around 5 am approximately a week ago and started convulsing. My fingers and toes curled, my body went numb, everything was going black, I heard ringing in my ears, I was drowning in sweat, and my heart beat was insanely fast (side note: I have a heart murmur as well, so I was very scared). I have overdosed in the past on other drugs once, but that was an intentional attempt to kill myself. This time, it wasn't which made me very surprised. For an hour I thought I was going to die, I felt my soul escaping my chest and all I could think was "this is it". I had texted my friend who dropped me off that I was sorry for not listening to him, and to call 911 if I don't answer you in the next hour. I was surprised I could even manage to text him, as for an hour prior to having a terrible vomiting episode I couldn't move (after puking I could move my arms, but nothing else and was still numb and sweating). Long story short, since that near death experience I have stopped taking adderall. Although it has only been about a week, I wanted to post this because I don't have many outlets to resort to since friends judge me and my family wouldn't be able to handle it (my sister is doing her own thing and must focus, while my mom has cancer and my dad has parkinsons/grave's diseases, among many other conditions). I have resorted to a drug councillor, which has helped a lot, but I have been having emotional breakdowns and several suicidal thoughts accompanied by floods of tears and agony. I do not want any sympathy, all I want is to hear from people who have had similar circumstances or from anyone who can help. I have read some of these articles, and they have helped, but I am positing this to share my story of addiction, and I would greatly appreciate feedback/responses to my story based on what I have said, as some specific responses in relation to my story would help even more. If anyone has been in a similar circumstance as me, or started using adderall for the same reasons, please reply to this and share your side. I hope to overcome my addiction, but since it's so early I am fearful that I may not be able to handle it and relapse, or possibly attempt to commit suicide again. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and stay strong!
I live with my dad because I can't afford rent anywhere else; I pay him cheap rent. And he's had enough of my depression, always has. I can barely make myself get out of bed, and sometimes I can't even do that. He's spent every day of my recovery telling me how I'm hurting him by not doing things, that I'm lazy, that I'm worthless. Once he stood over me while I was crying in bed and promised to make me even more miserable than I already was. That if I don't start doing things and stop stressing him out and stop making the entire house darker, he's going to throw me and my shit onto the street without hesitation. He's "had enough" of my attitude. Today as I was leaving for work, he told me that I need to "stay away, leave and just stay away," he doesn't want me here. He's sick of me. I'm sick of me. I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of having to struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I'm sick of being told I'm worthless for it. I want to die. I want everything to end. I can't take this shit anymore, and I'm not going to. I would have already ended it, but I can't find a painless way to kill myself. I think I want to OD on something, but I don't have anything to OD on. I have access to a gun, but I'm afraid I won't hit my brain stem and then I'll be forced to live an even shittier life. I hate being alive. Maybe I'll get over this. I don't know if that'll be possible when I'm sleeping in my car, but maybe I will. I don't know. I'm just sick of it all.
AshleyT posted a topic in General DiscussionATTN: All those who hate the pharmaceutical industry and feel they would never have started using ADHD medications if they'd been properly informed of their harm (my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join) , I have never used ADHD drugs myself, but lost my fiancee to Adderall addiction three years ago. Since then I've been researching the vested interests who have caused these controlled substances to be recommended as supposedly "safe" and "beneficial" for even toddlers. This continued to bother my conscience for 3 years day and night, during which I've conducted extensive research. The facts I've compiled (including personal communications with the FDA and Health Canada who have admitted to the alleged misrepresentation) have convinced a large law firm (MCELDREW YOUNG, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW) to start a class action lawsuit on contingency, alleging the violation of the public's right to informed consent about Adderall, Vyvanse and Daytrana, Strattera, Concerta, Ritalin or Focalin. YOUR HELP IS NEEDED TO SUCCEED AT GETTING THESE HARMFUL MEDICATIONS OFF THE MARKET, please keep reading.this about what you can do to help. I'll be an expert witness in this lawsuit, and to guarantee its success, we are looking for principle plaintiffs (also called class representatives) who are trusted members of this forum who want these drugs recalled as badly as i do, who would do everything humanly possible to represent the best interest of every other class member (possibly thousands of damaged parties who can document side effects such as depression, heart disease, etc. including documentable addiction/abuse). These principle class representatives will get a larger compensation (can be up to $30, 000 more than everyone else), their names will be publicly disclosed but not any information from their medical records (the rest of the class members will neither have their names nor damages publicly disclosed). I have read about class action suits whose class representatives were paid-off to agree to settle for almost nothing with a non-disclosure agreement preventing the press from hearing anything. I have also read about class representatives who have agreed to settle for a huge sum for the law firm and negligible amounts for the injured plaintiffs themselves. This is why I don't want to take chances with just anyone the law firm may assign, but want trusted members of this forum who will promise here that they will not let any such thing happen to this lawsuit. You can read more about the responsibilities of class representatives here: https://library.nclc.org/class/010901-0 So if you'd like to do this, I hope you are as outraged as me me to have been a victim of pharmaceutical fraud, wanting as much as me to end it. Again, I'll be asking these people to promise here to do everything they can to negotiate a huge settlement from the drug manufacturers or let the case go to trial if the drug companies refuse to comply, never signing a non-disclosure agreement and allowing us to create a huge public stink about this fraud ruining millions of innocent lives each year. To see if you qualify to represent this class, please read the top part of this questionnaire: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/class-action-lawsuit/ and then fill it out if you wish to participate (will only take 5 minutes to complete, my law firm McEldrewYoung will talk to you and get your consent and verify my words before you officially join). Then my law firm will get back to you. When the law firm contacts you, I may get compensated for my 3 years of hard work if you'd kindly let them know that this essay (http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf) helped you realize the full extent to which ADHD drugs have been misrepresented as "safe" and "beneficial" (you don't have to read all of this, but please keep reading until you see how badly you all have been defrauded by the pharmaceutical industry -- trust me, you will end up as furious as I am before you finish the first page or two, you can verify every statement instantly with clickable references). My law firm may also ask you when was the first time that you realized that your right to informed consent was violated. People who realized this sometime in the past may not qualify to participate as the lawsuit has a statute of limitations for 2 years. But the statue of limitations starts now for all those who have realized that their informed consent was violated after reading the facts I've presented to them: http://adhddrugslongterm.com/Misrepresentation_of_ADHD.pdf. Thanks again for your much appreciated contributions to help prevent future generations from falling prey to increase drug company profits. Asli Theobald, M.S., Information Systems Analyst