What happened to the man I knew before the addiction? Is he gone?

[Pisces31675]

Will the clever, extroverted confident man return to our relationship if he quits adderall ?

[ldmcniel]

Yes. I believe so. I was afraid that I had permanently changed the true me and would be the robotic adderall induced zombie for the rest of my life. I noticed my true personality starting to come back a little about 2 days Adderall free. It won't be easy and may even be painful because our minds have been poisoned for so long. You might be scared that you won't be able to function without Adderall. You can function without Adderall!! You just have to remember how to and also remember how horrible you felt on Adderall . Best of luck to you.

[LILTEX41]

In my humble experience, I have to personally state that recovering from adderall addiction is unlike any other addiction out there. At first it is rough. My self esteem took a nose dive as my work ethic deteriorated right before my eyes. Just to make it through the entire day was tough. I didn't have the motivation and I really felt like a failure without my super human drug. However, as I stuck it out and started slowly rebuilding my reputation without adderall it did get easier. I started having more respect for myself that I was able to function without it even if I was doing a half assed job. It definitely wasn't a quick fix by any means, but GOD were my co-workers glad to have my fun loving happy go lucky self back. I was no longer STRESSED out, ANXIOUS, PARANOID, DELUSIONAL, and as my one friend called it, doing the "jackhammer."

,

It's been 27 months and 20 days since I've been clean. Today, I have a new job and that was another tough challenge, but I got through it and I feel pretty confident in my abilities today. It was hard at first starting a new job after 5 years at my old one along with starting a new part in the industry I'm in. Now that I think about it, I spent the entire duration of my last job on adderall up until the last year.

Anyhow, to answer your question...YES, I think he will return to his clever, extroverted confident self and eventually be stronger and even more self assured after overcoming this pill if he does decide to quit. However, it takes time. But there is no reason he cannot have a full and life long bad ass recovery. It will depend on his inner strength and determination to quit and see it through. Does he want to quit?

[Pisces31675]

He says he does. He's pushed away or screwed over everyone who loved him. Sometimes I will look in the web history and there will be some links to adderall addiction sites so he knows it is time. It has been since Thursday since he took is last pill. A very long and sad couple of days. I miss someone who is laying right across the room. I see him shifting and turning and kicking the sheets. I wish I could take the pain away.. I am really scared this time though because his dad won't let him stay there and the rage and violence will start by Monday at the latest.

[quit-once]

I am trying to help my boyfriend beat his adderall addiction. He has been taking it daily for 5 years slowly adding more to scary levels. He went through 60 20's in five days this week. I don't even recognize him. Gone is the confidence, sarcastic humor, passion. A natural born salesman, he was bringing home 250k a year. Now he has not worked in 5 years and doesn't have any interest in a career anymore. He crashes bad at least twice a month. He does nothing but sleep, eat and get mad. during two of his crashes he assaulted me and destroyed property. i didn't know that man existed. i never know what it is going to be that sets him off on a rampage so i cater to his every food craving and i have to avoid touching him or talking to him at all. Once i bumped one of feet while he was in the reciliner. i was just trying to get by him. he jumped up picked me up and threw me to the floor. he lifted a heavy coffee table and through it across the room. he has smashed electronics, broken full glasses of alcohol by throwing them at the wal, ripped a mirror down and shattered it all over the room. He alienated his friends and replaced mature, kind and loyal friends with a group full of drug addicts who will do almost anything to get their hands on drugs except get a job. When he's on his addy's he parties with then 5-7 days in a row without sleep or food. The morning he takes the last pill, he comes here to crash. Today is one of those depressing days. I've barely spoken to him and he glares at me if I ask him a question and rolls over. His family has disowned him and his new friends have all turned their backs on him because we almost bankrupt and they can't count on me paying for addys in between prescriptions just so the person I love won't hurt so badly. This time I can't afford it and I sit here with my dogs wondering when or how the rage will start. I can't make any noise. So we just sit here depressed. I am glad that I have found this site because he has to quit now. There is no money left. I just wonder if he ever makes it and gets off of them if the same man I met a long time ago will return or someone else.

Jesus. What a disturbing story. Ever heard of co-dependency? It sounds like he is using you for your money and a place to crash. What are you getting from this relationship for your own good? Sounds like a heartache to me. You are walking on eggshells. How do you maintain your self-esteem? Why do you continue to tolerate his abusive behavior?

YOU ARE NOT SAFE! I suggest you round up your dogs and find a safe place to stay until he levels out from his current crash. Maybe that will wake him up that he is about to loose what you believe matters most to him.....YOU.

He still needs to find the depths of his own adderall hell before he is ready to quit, and that could be well into the future.

Please take care of yourself and your dogs now. You could be hurt or killed by his violent behavior reslulting from his adderall bingeing and withdrawl. The violent episodes will only continue to worsen until he quits for good. TODAY would be a good time to start looking after yourself FIRST.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Thanks for discovering this site. First and foremost, do not let him see this or he will freak out on you. Are you using a shared computer? If so, delete the history and make sure you log out all the time. Make sure your email address this is linked to is not an email address he can see.

You are in a relationship with a drug, not a man. It's amazing you've stayed with him this long - are you afraid he will do something to you if you leave?

What will make him stop, do you think? Sounds like he hit rock bottom already but still it's not enough. I agree with QO, you really just need to look after you right now. He may transform but not with any help from you - he needs to get there alone.

I am so sorry for your pain.

[Heather67]

Take it from someone who stayed longer than I had any business staying in my husbands heroin addiction....get out. His bottom is low ...that's apparent ..I had many pieces of furniture,stereos computer tossed around like toys,while I sat motionless hoping nothing would hit me,only to run for the door when he turned his back and leave my own home on foot if necessary ...hide in the woods long enough to call a friend to pick.me up. I didn't know this man...and I feared him most definitely. He didn't care about his own life anymore ..why the fuck would this asshole care about mine. We had a son..and I ran so that my child could have atleast one parent. It took a 5 year prison sentence to get my husband to give up dope. If I didn't have a sentencing date to hold on to....I would have left with nothing and never gone back. You will not win him back from his addiction....he won't quit to stop you from crying or screaming or giving "another" ultimatum. ..he has to live like real addicts do,without the comforts. You still keep up the appearences to the best of your abilities ..you still provide for his needs. He is spoiled. And the disease knows this. You have to go and let him make a solitary choice for his own life...with time and proof,maybe you'll be together the right way sometime...but maybe not. My husband will have one chance when he's released in about 4 years to prove himself...because just even one hint of heroin...I assure you...it will be easy for me to leave ...that is a hell someone will only survive once. Please stay safe and sane and do what's best for you.

[Heather67]

I want you to please,please go to a site called THE JUNKY WIVES CLUB. it got me through many a homicidal moments with women just like me..in relationships with addicts. They have individual groups codeine codices,pill groups and everything in between. Will help to fill some deep voids along with this site. You will feel a little relief ..I hope..I did.