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Innattentive ADD and depression, took last pill over Memorial Day Weekend

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Are there any other's out there with Innattentive ADD? I took Adderall for three years. It ruined my relationships. I'm so happy to have this place to vent.

I am normally a great girlfriend, but I had two rocky relationships since I started Adderall (very unlike the ones I had before the pill). I constantly was worried or analyzing non-sense. It's a very long story. But, now that I'm sober, I realize how crazy I've been. I want the three years back. I would be doing much better.

I'm supposed to pick up a refill of Adderall tomorrow... I might take it....

so that I can clean my room... do my laundry... etc.... (just one last day?)

The reason I don't want to take Adderall is because my relationships suffered tremendously. My little sister was my BEST friend. I loved her with all my heart and vice versa. But now I sometimes don't like her. She treated me like a different person on Adderall because I was a different person.

I did not deserve to have one of the most meaningful and important relationships in my life destroyed[ like that........

If you read this could you let me know? You don't have to respond. Sometimes I just feel ignored by others in my life.

Does anyone have ADHD and depression?

What if I'm going to an ADHD specialist in a week. What if he decides to put me on medicine again? :( I just want the old me back.... even though the old me needed a lot of work as well... things are just so uch worse I guess.

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I am sitting here crying and listening to Coldplay, Fix you. Just sent these two texts.

To my ex boyfriend:

"Really am sorry things were so difficult when we were together. I promise I don't normally fight like that and I was a different person on meds. It seems like you've fond what you're looking for. Happy for you."

To my sister:

"Really sorry for the way I acted on Adderall"

As sappy as I am right now...

"Tears stream, down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace."

^yes, that's a fact^

I'm just listening to it over and over. It hurts to much to not have music on. (I'm such a weak person right now)

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