Mr. Kirk

remember the old me before adderall. I was more successful, I truly believe I had more drive, and was always very good at my job. I was a better husband, a better father, even though my kids are out of school now. I didn't worry and procrastinate like I do now after a 3 year adderall addiction. I try to blame my addiction for the bad karma of the last 3 years. In December of 2013 I was struck in the head by an electric motor in my own shop at home on the farm. And seems like it all spiraled south after that. I lost nearly 6 months to amnisha not remembering things ext. I had just left a very good job to pursue my own business but because of head injury I made very bad choices one of those being starting adderall. I thought having adderall was going to make up for my lost time and success, let's just say that was a serious understatement. It was great at first i would pop a pill and would have all the drive and energy in the world pretty soon I was popping 2,3,4,& sometimes 5 20mg pills a day. I think in my mind I was getting shit done but in reality I began to get worse and worse. I would spend hours on meaningless things because it had to be perfect, and neglecting things that were most important. I would run out of my script early every month and be lazy and worthless for several days without adderall. It became a visus cycle. The following year on the same day and month as my head injury my shop that I spent hours the previous year redoing burnt to the ground and I lost many things that meant a lot to me and my son. As any addict would now this made the addiction worse. I was trying to do anything I could to hide my pain and anger I guess. I began regularly taking 80 to 120mg a day. And when I would run out early. I started using Vicodin to fill the void. I am still using today but not as heavily. But I have noticed many side effects that have come with my abuse. I forget simple things all the time now, I believe I have way less energy than I ever did before I started and have more trouble concentrating than I ever did before adderall. I really wanna quit for good, no tapper just cold turkey. I can go a whole week sometimes 2 without because I ran out before my next script why can't I just quit. I can clearly see now that it has done me by far more harm than good. I'm just trying to get over that hump of quitting it completely.

I remember the old me before adderall. I was more successful, I truly believe I had more drive, and was always very good at my job. I was a better husband, a better father, even though my kids are out of school now. I didn't worry and procrastinate like I do now after a 3 year adderall addiction. I try to blame my addiction for the bad karma of the last 3 years. In December of 2013 I was struck in the head by an electric motor in my own shop at home on the farm. And seems like it all spiraled south after that. I lost nearly 6 months to amnisha not remembering things ext. I had just left a very good job to pursue my own business but because of head injury I made very bad choices one of those being starting adderall. I thought having adderall was going to make up for my lost time and success, let's just say that was a serious understatement. It was great at first i would pop a pill and would have all the drive and energy in the world pretty soon I was popping 2,3,4,& sometimes 5 20mg pills a day. I think in my mind I was getting shit done but in reality I began to get worse and worse. I would spend hours on meaningless things because it had to be perfect, and neglecting things that were most important. I would run out of my script early every month and be lazy and worthless for several days without adderall. It became a visus cycle. The following year on the same day and month as my head injury my shop that I spent hours the previous year redoing burnt to the ground and I lost many things that meant a lot to me and my son. As any addict would now this made the addiction worse. I was trying to do anything I could to hide my pain and anger I guess. I began regularly taking 80 to 120mg a day. And when I would run out early. I started using Vicodin to fill the void. I am still using today but not as heavily. But I have noticed many side effects that have come with my abuse. I forget simple things all the time now, I believe I have way less energy than I ever did before I started and have more trouble concentrating than I ever did before adderall. I really wanna quit for good, no tapper just cold turkey. I can go a whole week sometimes 2 without because I ran out before my next script why can't I just quit. I can clearly see now that it has done me by far more harm than good. I'm just trying to get over that hump of quitting it completely.