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About TaylorH

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  1. AA/NA meetings

    Hi everyone, Just wondering if anyone has had any success going to AA/NA meetings to help with their recovery. Obviously being an adderall addict you would think that NA is more appropriate but my therapist thinks that I would benefit from AA. I think it's because she knows of a really good women's only group that she thinks i would be comfortable in. She said that both groups work the 12 steps but that NA focuses more on a more individual rather than focusing on the assistance of a higher power which is a big part of AA. She said that I would benefit from both but recommends AA. I'm really nervous to go to my first meeting and can't seem to get myself to go. If you've had any experiences with either I'd greatly appreciate your input
  2. So I've had this site bookmarked on my browser for about 3 years now (when I first realized I had a problem with adderall) and periodically checked it during my super bad come downs from adderall. But I didn't realize until today that this site has a forum section and I'm sooooo happy I found this. I honestly relate to so many posts that I read and am really encouraged by so many people on this forum. I was first prescribed adderall my sophomore year of college and by the time I graduated and started a real job I knew I had to stop getting written prescriptions. (I work in the healthcare industry and addy makes me smoke SO many cigs). Anyways, I really abused it during college. My doctor told me I suffered from ADD but I knew that wasn't really the case - I have really bad anxiety/bulimia/ OCD and when I first took adderall it made me so confident so I took the script anyways. The next 3 years were just a bunch of super highs and super lows with breaks in between. I didn't take it everyday but would binge then stop for a few days then repeat. So when I graduated and stopped getting it prescribed I knew I'd be okay because my sister still had her adderall prescription. It was such a nice break to not be on it for a while, though every time I would see her she would give me a few pills, or I would steal them. About a year and a half later she has now moved in with me and I have found myself back to the old ways of binging and then taking a break. I have wanted to quit about maybe 50 times now. My come downs are so bad now and every time I swear it off I find myself forgetting how bad they really are and doing the same thing over again. I know the adderall is holding me back so much in life, I am super into the ideas and practices of self help/meditation/yoga when I'm not on it but the second I am offered a pill I can't say no. It's like I'm two different people. I feel so hopeless that now that she's living with me I'll never be able to say no even though I want to stop taking it so badly. I know some of you guys get what I'm talking about so I just wanted to share my story. I feel like this last come down was the last straw for me and I will hate myself if I take it again but I've done this so many times before. Sorry for the long post- I just hope that this time is different.