Hey Daz,
I'm also a newbie on here. First off, congrats on cutting ties with your doctor. That's so huge. One of the tensions I find so palpable in the story you shared is the conflict between wanting to quit while at the same time recognizing that increased productivity is the only way out of your present circumstances. I identify so hard with this. We live in a world that tells us our worth as humans is based on our productive output. At a theoretical and spiritual level we know this isn't true---and at the same time this recognition won't make up for the fact that capitalism sucks and we still need to earn money in this shitty culture that tells us to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps". I will say this: you don't need to feel shitty about living with your parents after getting a college degree. That's the newreality...not because you're lazy, but because most of us don't have the resources to launch a career directly after college. I experienced it, and I see my students experiencing it. Here's how I got through it: everytime you feel shitty, remind yourself that it's temporary. My advice is to live with your parents awhile longer to improve your credit score and figure out exactly what your next step should be (you mentioned grad school). If homeis a toxic and unsupportive place where you feel driven to use, then think about finding a place with a sober friend to keep costs to a minimum. One more thing: I would advise having a year or two sober under your belt before starting law school because my guess is that you'll be tempted to use. I started using again in grad school because the workload was so intimidating. Now I realize my dissertation would have been better if I had written with a straight rather than frazzled mind. Trust yourself...you know what you need to do. Hopefully, you find affirmation in some of the feedback people on this forum. Congratulations on making yourself a priority!