Everything posted by absent_minded_professor
Hi there, I'm new here--just discovered this site yesterday after reading an article from a 2016 issue of the New York Times Magazine. I'll post the link at the end of this post because it's a really good article. I've been dependent on ADHD medication on and off since starting college. I'm currently teaching at a university and TERRIFIED about quitting my meds...but I also know it's something I need to do. My story feels like many of the others I've read on this site: I thought I'd found what I'd always been missing when I first started taking stimulants. But now I'm less productive and totally anti-social to boot. I've lived in this town for three years and I've barely spent any time outside my apartment aside from work. Rather than reading and writing for hours, my stimulated adhd mind now just surfs the internet and nitpicks the grammar on papers I've already written. I've lost touch with so many people and feel awkward in social spaces meeting new people. I know quitting won't solve all of these problems right away...but I know it's a first step. I feel like I've lost touch with some part of myself...and I want her back. Here's the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/magazine/generation-adderall-addiction.html
absent_minded_professor replied to Dazzy5467's topic in Tell your storyHey Daz, I'm also a newbie on here. First off, congrats on cutting ties with your doctor. That's so huge. One of the tensions I find so palpable in the story you shared is the conflict between wanting to quit while at the same time recognizing that increased productivity is the only way out of your present circumstances. I identify so hard with this. We live in a world that tells us our worth as humans is based on our productive output. At a theoretical and spiritual level we know this isn't true---and at the same time this recognition won't make up for the fact that capitalism sucks and we still need to earn money in this shitty culture that tells us to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps". I will say this: you don't need to feel shitty about living with your parents after getting a college degree. That's the newreality...not because you're lazy, but because most of us don't have the resources to launch a career directly after college. I experienced it, and I see my students experiencing it. Here's how I got through it: everytime you feel shitty, remind yourself that it's temporary. My advice is to live with your parents awhile longer to improve your credit score and figure out exactly what your next step should be (you mentioned grad school). If homeis a toxic and unsupportive place where you feel driven to use, then think about finding a place with a sober friend to keep costs to a minimum. One more thing: I would advise having a year or two sober under your belt before starting law school because my guess is that you'll be tempted to use. I started using again in grad school because the workload was so intimidating. Now I realize my dissertation would have been better if I had written with a straight rather than frazzled mind. Trust yourself...you know what you need to do. Hopefully, you find affirmation in some of the feedback people on this forum. Congratulations on making yourself a priority!