quit-once
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Posts posted by quit-once
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)))) (thats a digital pat on the back) Wow, five months is a long time, and a heartfelt congratulations to you, Ashley6. I am really proud of you too. You DO have this battle under YOUR control now and there is nothing, NOTHING that can screw it up. I sure wish I could buy you lunch or something to mark the occasion. I felt my most vunerable at five months and that is when I cut the final ties and unloaded my pill stash. Never looked back. Keep us all updated on your progress and I am really happy for you!
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My cognition gradually returned after about ten weeks. That post-addiction mental fog really sucks but you just have to get through it. I felt mostly recovered after nine months. At fifteen months, it just keeps getting better and better. Hang in there, Steven, and read as far as you can into this web site. It is full of stories of people who have kicked adderall and recovered from that awful addiction.
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Jack,
I also tried to go off adderall and cigs together. Couldn't do it. But within six weeks of quitting adderall, I also kicked the cigs. I used Chantix but it wasn't pleasant. I think it is better to get off ALL of the stimulants, including nicotine. They feed each other. I still consume a lot of caffeine but I don't think there is a down side to coffee, tea and red bull.
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Hello Dazed&Confused:
Here are some answers to your questions.
1) Adderall does make you sweat. It also makes your heart beat twice as fast. It makes you feel hot.
2) It has the effect of over or uder-emotionalizing just about everything in your life. Sometimes for the better but usually not.
3) It can make your ADD worse than ever, especially if you never had it to begin with.
4) The weight loss only works in the beginning of your "treatment". I became overweight while abusing adderall and smoking cigs because I didn't sleep enough and ate way too much sugar and other bad food.
5) It eventually quits working for everything it ever helped you with in the beginning. Yes, it turns on you and you start swimming upstream.
At 53 years old and being overweight, it won't take too many more years before you feel like an old man and those new knees won't feel new any more. I quit last summer and now I feel ten years younger...and I am pushing 50. I got my life back and that's priceless.
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Way to go with the new Job!! Do you have to move?
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No such thing as a natural pill - they are all made in some kind of a lab/pill factory, somewhere. LTyrosine is an amino acid. It is in chicken but you couldn't eat enough chicken to make you as happy as that one little pill can. Your body uses it to make more seratonin and dopamine, and that comes in handy when you're seratonin and dopamine have been depleted by heavy adderall use. Give it a try - you can buy it at any health food store.
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InRecovery,
Is it possible that you are more subject to depression this time of the year? I remember exactly one year ago when we both were new here, and one of my first posts to you was responding to your depression and I suggested you go find a job, even if it was a bullshit job at McDonalds. I am more subject to depression in the winter season. I hope it gets better for you and don't forget about the Vitamin D and L-tyrosine.
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The depression can be cured by taking L-Tyrosine. I like the GNC brand, 500 mg 2-3 times a day. It is the best "happy pill" I have ever found and I still take it when I get a blue mood. Hell, I am on it right now. Take it on empty or try it with a (sugar free) red bull for an extra kick.
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It is a double-edged deal at your stage of quitting. You are right to want be doing something instead of sitting around thinking about adderall. But at four days, the motivation to get off your ass is pretty low so you will end up sitting around alot anyway. I took up a new hobby that included some moderate exercise right after I quit and it really helped.
You will regain "the old me" if you stay off this shit (and all other stimulant drugs). You only took it for two years so your recovery period should be relatively short compared to those of us around here who used it for many many years.
Congratulations on The Flush and welcome to this cool web site/forum.
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Ashley6,
You really have to KILL those thoughts of a relapse before they take hold. no,No NO NO! is not strong enough. It has to be a rock solid FUCK NO!! It should be a gut-wrenching feeling that adderall is a toxic substance and it can only do you harm. Think of the most disgusting thing that you hate and replace it with adderall. Remember, adderall only solved some of your problems for a little while and then it turned on you and it quit working! You have got to want this quit to succeed more than anything else in the world right now. Be kind to yourself, quit for good, and for God's sake, just quit once!
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Recovery is different for everybody. Cassie has noted that the average recovery time is about a month of recovery for every year you were on it. It was spot on for me - I used adderall for nine years and it took me nine months before I finally quit thinking about the shit a thousand times per day. Here is how my recovery went:
Ten weeks - I noticed a gradual improvement in cognition. I was a worthless crumpled towel for the first ten weeks but I held it together at work and spent a lot of couch time during the weekends. I really lamented the loss of my productivity. The cobwebs and mental fog lasted about 10-12 weeks after quitting
Three months - I started desiring more physical activity and becoming more productive at work
Five months - I felt vunerable to a relapse and got rid of all my pills
Nine months - I really couldn't tell much difference in how I felt between three months and nine months post quitting. But at nine months, I started sleeping better and getting more exercise
Twelve months - I started going to a yoga class, getting lots of exercise and began to lose weight. I began to regain my full level of productivity that I am capable of.
Fourteen months - where I am now. Lost 20 lbs (have another 15 yet to lose), doing regular exercise, weekly yoga, eating really well and getting shit done. I feel fully recovered from that awful addiction and there is NO WAY I will ever take another stimulant drug ever again, not even tobacco.
Stick with it, Rahul. You have a good start and a good outlook. As I see it, a long term stimulant addiction is simply unsustainable, unless you want to take it to your grave. Good Luck!
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Thanks to Cassie I took up Yoga this summer. Gentle Yoga, and I am the only male in a class of mostly middle-aged women at our community rec center. I have only been able to go about once a week, but WOW do I notice a difference in the way I feel all the way around. This is something I would like to continue doing for the long term. I would advise anybody doing frequent yoga to purchase a nice, thick yoga mat and a small pillow or cushion. I would have never even considered yoga beofre reading Cassie's posts and how yoga has helped her in the early stages of her recovery. Thanks, Cassie!
Thumbs: If you really want to enjoy taking adderall, this site is not for you on a regular basis. I applaud your observations of abusive behavior and I hope you can recognize that in yourself when your adderall use turns into drug abuse and a miserable addiction. Until then, enjoy your next dose!
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Are you still off the cigs too?
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SPOT ON!!
Cassie and Ashley6, YOU ROCK! If anybody who ever considered substituting another stimulant drug for adderall would just read these two posts,...well...they would keep fightin the good fight and just stay off ALL of this shit.
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When I was taking adderall, I frequently felt some kind of heart quiver, especially when I took a few too many.... In fact, it felt like my cell phone in vibrate mode went off in my pocket and I would actually reach for it in my shirt pocket right over my heart even though I knew it wasn't there. all the time. It was my frikken heart going into vibrate mode because of all the adderall I was taking. I had muscle twitches in other parts of my body too, and they all went away after I quit. Except for a few lingering and infrequent muscle spasms in my legs and feet it all gradually went away.
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Day 423 and feeling about 98% fully recovered.
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The devil and the angel....gave me a flashback to a very funny scene in the movie Animal House.
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Thanks for assembling this list. What a great resource! I am amazed how many of those books I have read, purchased, or heard about, and not just here on the forums. The links really help too.
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G.Z. -
Actually you DO know anymore. Just read your own post and you will see that you DO know it is time to quit taking adderall, for good. You recognize your addiction and the traits that make you an addict. You know that addict is not who you are and you don't like it. You know that taking adderall just to feel "normal" for the rest of your life is not sustainable. And you know that adderall HAD its rightful place in your life but now it is time to move on. So you are already several steps into the process of quitting and your subsequent recovery. If I were you I would get right on it and cease, cold turkey, and don't look back. Welcome to the Quittingadderall forums!
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Quit once,
Thanks, I needed that. Tomorrow marks 180 days with no Adderall. Anyone want to celebrate?
I will buy you a virtual beer for that one, Whittering! SIX MONTHS is awsome! That put a smile on my face tonight. Congratulations!
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- Popular Post
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RESIST REST READJUST REBUILD REBOUND RECOVERED
This is a post about the stages of my recovery over the past year. All of the stages overlap with one another because recovery is not a linear process. Recovery is a different process for everybody so I have not posted time frames for these different stages. I call them the "'R's of Recovery" and so far I have identified five or six of them, and it is likely there are even more steps than those I have identified. Adderall recovery is a long and difficult process with a huge reward for those who complete it.
RESIST: From the moment you cease intaking stimulants you must resist the addiction, whenever the temptation arises. For the rest of your life. The good news is that temptations get fewer and less intense with time. You must resist the notion that adderall will solve even one of your problems. I have to resist two addictions that are linked - adderall and cigs. I believe that nicotine is a gateway drug that causes stronger and more intense cravings for itself and for all of the stronger and harder stimulant drugs. So I must double-down and resist them both.
REST: You have been abusing adderall for ___ years and getting by with less sleep that you really need. It is gonna take a while to make up that sleep deficit. So if you make rest part of your recovery program you won't feel guilty when you just can't seem to get off the couch. I still have those days but not very often.
READJUST: You will need to readjust just about everything you do and how you do it. A good example is how I do my laundry. It used to be an epic laundry event where I would wash all the fabrics in the house. Now, I do one load in the evening or whenever I can work it in, and call it good. I actually finish the task now. Meal preparation and eating is another area where I had to readjust my lifestyle after adderall. I have made it my highest priority to prepare fresh, wholesome meals for myself every day. Perhaps my biggest adjustment has been experiencing life in the mornings instead of fighting them. I wake up at the crack of dawn whether I want to or not.
REBUILD: This phase of recovery requires your ongoing active effort. Your have spent ___ years depleting your body of its reserves all in the name of persuing an addiction. It is going to take some considerable time and energy to rebuild yourself mentally and physically. I believe that Recovery is mounted on a tripod with Hydration, Activity and Nutrition supporting each leg of your Recovery tripod. Lately I have been keeping track of my Hydration, Activity, and Nutrition in a daily log I call my HAN Book.
REBOUND: This is the stage where I am currently. How high will this ball bounce?
RECOVERED: I believe it is entirely possible to completely recover from an adderall addiction. The AA/NA bullshit that you are always in recovery is just a ploy to keep these organizations in business for themselves. As long as you acknowledge that your need to RESIST will never completely go away, why not pronounce yourself RECOVERED and move on with your life?
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At five months I felt vulnerable so I got rid of my remaining pills. Good thing I did because Months 5-7 of my recovery were challenging enough and I did not need that extra temptation. Then, in Month 9, I started to recover from recovery, gradually, and now at a year I can say I feel mostly normal. It was so gradual that I didn't realize things had improved that much until a month later. I still lack motivation on some days and or weekends, but that is mostly normal for me. As the post-quitting pounds start coming off, my motivation for exercise gets stronger each day. I am now walking about two miles each day and eating really well - no fast or processed foods. I have finally kicked breakfast (in the morning) and now I fast for about 14-16 hours each day. I don't consume any calories until after noon. I found some pretty good weight loss pills at GNC with Kim Kardasian's picture plastered all over the box. They are purple (come in a blister pack) and smell like rasberry jello. But boy do they work - I am about ten pounds less than a month ago.
I would like to write another post about the stages of my recovery, including the three R's: recover, rebuild, and rebound. One really interesting thing I have learned here is that recovery is a highly individualized process and that no two people will recover at the same rate. Hang in there! it is really, really worth it when you emerge on the other side of the recovery from your adderall addiction. I feel like there was NO major damage done to my mind or my body from nine years of adderall use and abuse.
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This article is featured on the front page of today's online New York Times. It is an in-depth look at stimulant use for academic performance. If I knew how to make a link I would but I don't so you will just have to go to the NYTIMES.COM website and find it.
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Your attempt to not dwell on the pleasant adderall memories is a good start, and that can be very difficult. However, there is nothing wrong with remembering how fun taking adderall USED to be. The key is putting it all in past tense, and simply saying to yourself "but, damnit, I can't DO THAT any more" when those thoughts arise. Have you ever lost anything, Ashley? Has somebody dear to you ever died? Did you graduate from high school? Have you ever moved into a new place even though you liked where you were living before? These are all permamant changes in your life without the option of a do-over. Treat your adderall addiction the same way. Grieve the loss of your pill habbit - go ahead, cry out loud with long sobs. Until you acknowledge the loss of all things good and bad about adderall, you will be struggling to put that horrible addiction behind you.
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Welcome aboard, Monkey! Tyrosine really helped me out and I think it is a great amino acid! It sure beats taking prozac or any other drug, for that matter.