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Zerokewl

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  5. 5 months no adderall

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    congrats on five months keep struggling. Keep Exercising focus on your self care. You-got-this just keep it up. Try the no window diet, don't eat anything that is served out of a window for a year. Amazing how much drive thru you avoid.  ( I just invented this diet) 

    • Like 2

  9. relapse dream

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    I went to a buddies the other night and he was doing cocaine. I was so tempted for a second I just stood there staring at like, I did when I first saw adderall.  I had a choice that day. I made that choice.   I skipped the coke for a beer and that was that.  So much power in that moment. Cocaine scares the hell out of me. 

    • Like 1

  21. Temptations

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Wow. Opioid a addiction is so much worse than amphetamines. Like you dodged a massive bullet. A canon ball really. [/quote

    I'm not sure it is worse but after a couple months the impulse to slip up and take adderall has faded a lot. But just because the urge to take a pill is not as strong it's still a battle everyday learning self motivation. Trying to find out who I was before the drug is difficult and of course part of me will never be the same.

    The pain pills I feel intimidated by and hate to be around them. It's like a sexy seductive stripper whispering to me who is nothing but trouble if that makes sense lol. Adderal pill is more of a seduction of society telling me to be a happy busy worker bee who cares more about working hard then myself .

     

    Keep slugging. It does get better. Your still early in this process and starting to fell some of the benefits.  Crawl if you need to. Just keep going.

    • Like 1

  22. temper tantrums

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Z,

     

    Have you tried practicing mindfulness meditation?  This is some good stuff!  I've been watching a few videos on youtube past couple days.  I think this might be the answer for so many of us!!  I've heard people preach about the benefits of it for so long, but was never really able to apply it until today.  I don't know, but it suddenly clicked for me.  It was weird, but as I got up this morning and felt my thoughts spinning in a million different directions (some seriously negative thoughts) I thought about what I learned last night and decided to just detach from the thoughts and let them pass by as clouds.  So then I was able to focus on the present moment and crap I needed to get done.  Suddenly, I had a flashback of my adderall days and realized that's exactly what adderall used to do for me.  Adderall cleared out all the racing thoughts and just allowed me to focus on the task at hand.  I sincerely believe IF i keep training myself to detach more and more from feelings and intense emotions I will be more at peace able to focus on the present moment.  It keeps you out of dwelling on the past and fretting about the future.  

     

    I totally used adderall the same way. To get in and stay in the zone. It worked for a while, I got more done until it didn't work and all i did was smoke cigarettes, move furniture around and clean.  Those thoughts where I replay every wrong move and re-live every disappointment I've ever had.  Over and over again. Are wrecking the good things I have going right now. I have a lot of opportunities to advance myself.  It really comes down to me following a healthy routine.  The next 3 months can be a game changer for me. If I can execute on a few things.  I just need to execute on something and push the game forward.  

     

    There is a win here. I can feel it. Just need to get through August.  

    • Like 1
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