whoareyoureally

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About whoareyoureally

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    Female
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    TX
  1. San Antonio, TX

    Hello!! Recently quit...would love to meet people in town who get it.
  2. I feel like Adderall itself is not the problem. It is like we are trying to escape from our own sober selves/our own issues using the most convenient methods available. I am a sucker for novelty, I am very hyperactive-adderall seemed like the perfect fit: made all As, got skinnier, my friends would comment on how I was so "calm, cool and collected." Then I began to abuse it, till it started to lose that euphoric feeling and bring me freaky health side effects. Then of course, I was a bore to others and to myself. So I quit two weeks ago, have been feeling pretty amazing. But I can't stop thinking about What makes one person become addicted to this prescription medication and not others? Off adderall, I feel happier but I am drinking more, due to the increased socializing. I am becoming restless in my relationship with my boyfriend. I keep thinking that he can't keep up with this new, livelier me. I am getting the urge to go out and meet new people (lots of novelty seeking behaviors). Oh and not to mention the freakin binge eating....when does that go away? Luckily I went grocery shopping and bought only healthy foods..but I've gained about 10 pounds just in the last 2 weeks. Whatever. Anyways, share your thoughts! Just trying to find my way back home to myself. Trying to make sense of this mess I've made.
  3. when will we learn??

    Thank y'all so much. You guys are both correct-in that, life is possible (and enjoyable) without Adderall and my "real" self is much better than addy self. I realize that it's only been two weeks off of it, but I've cleaned out my room and bathroom (they were wrecks before when I was taking addy). I would always THINK about cleaning my room while on adderall but was so physically fatigued and mentally overwhelmed that I would just lay in bed, surfing the internet. Now, I feel more active, social and more alive. I have gone grocery shopping and have been binge eating-- on healthy foods-- thankfully. However, sometmes I find myself romanticizing the drug like Justin was saying. I find myself tthinking "man, I feel really great, BUT I bet I would feel even better and would function even better with Adderall". I lost my insurance, due to my mother switching jobs (perhaps a blessing in disguise). My best friend takes Adderall and I would always hit her up for it when I ran out before my script... I am too ashamed to even really ask her, though I have been considering it. I don't understand how someone can be prescribed Adderall and not abuse it eventually. Sooner or later you will start wanting more focus, more energy, more euphoria, more skinniness...right? Justin W and Blesbro...how long have you guys been off?
  4. when will we learn??

    First post. Just took my "last" addy today. I've been taking it off and on for the past 5 years or so. I love my grades, my weight and my stamina when on adderall. I hate my personality and my body's reactions when on adderall. When I take it, i get a tic of sorts, i start rolling my shoulders and they start to hurt so badly! It's like my body becomes restless. and I hate my personality on A because I know that it's not ME! it's so hard to laugh and to not be awkward. I also love taking it because it makes doing boring chores tolerable. I've consistently been going through a month's prescription in about two weeks. This cannot be healthy for my body or my mind. Sometimes my face starts to feel very tingly, and TIGHT. It becomes difficult to move my mouth and my face starts to twitch in certain areas. I've always dismissed these symptoms as being a part of a panic attack...but now i'm not so sure. And I'm not sure what I want at this point, maybe I don't even like my sober self. But I think all the excuses that i've made to allow myself to continue taking adderall aren't going to work anymore. I'm about to graduate university, my life is getting started....do i really want to be dependent on this drug? on any drug for that matter. i need to learn how to adapt. how can i find a husband who will love me when i can't even love myself without addy....this is a really sad realization. Thanks for reading, any thoughts? Can we ever really get over this desire to use addy...and how?? i feel like im wasting my life and my relationships, i am giving people a phony medicated version of "myself"..