After struggling with Adderall addiction for three years of grad school, I am finally ready to kick that shit to the curb. Today I told my boyfriend how bad things had gotten and that I wanted to quit, and together we flushed the rest of my meds down the toilet. I won't lose another year of my life to this lifelessness.
This is one of the most terrifying, exhilarating, empowering and freeing things I have ever done. I already feel a weight lifting off of me. I want to get healthy. I want to get strong. I want to stop paying money to the pharmaceutical companies every month. And I want to feel my full life again, expanding out beyond me in every direction. Adderall, I finally realized, cuts off that expanse. It has pressed my life inward, compacting it more tightly over time until I have felt like nothing more than a lab rat running circles in an impossibly small, windowless box. But I can choose something different.
This is my first post here. I've been checking out this website and others' posts for awhile, but today I finally decided to create an account and post about my decision to quit. Thanks to all here for helping me to do that for myself.