Candice Wong

I haven't taken them for months but in times of endless loneliness and boredom, how do you divert your attention? I feel as if I have nothing to look forward to than an amphetamine high. I know I can write tests, do projects and finish exams without adderall, I've proved it to myself last year when I went forever without a dose but now I just miss it and I'm looking for excuses to take it.

high-strung

Basically, I did it. A whole 6 months of not taking it, wrote my exams without it for both semesters and even though I should feel good, I don't. I just feel really broken and lost without my adderall. I still have 100 pills in my cabinet, 30 mg and another 100 that I can ask for at my pharmacy. How can I stop feeling so bad for myself? My friends are proud of me that I've made it this far, I just feel like I have less than I used to.

I am 13, almost 14 years of Age. After graduating elementary this year, my thoughts have drifted to high school and how my prescription was supposed to be cut soon. I've been on Adderall since the 3rd grade and up until now, I thought it changed my life for the better. However, after bumping into an article on this website, I've started to realize how heavily I rely on my Adderall to do everything for me. Deep inside, I know that those good grades are mine but...I know that I couldn't do it without the adderall. I'm unsure if i like who i used to be, but I do see that people who I've known for many years have started to drift apart from me as my addiction to those blue and orange capsules grew stronger. ( I take a 35 mg ). I'm addicted to them for the wrong reasons though, I remember being made fun of about my weight and having my grades compared at a young age. because I was always the lowest of my four friends, having my grades shoot up and losing 15 pounds in the first month was amazing. I've met a lot of people since being on my Adderall and Im really scared of being around them when Im off the pill. Even when doing creative things such as writing and drawing, I find that it's easier while Im on my Adderall. even though Adderall is known for sucking out your creativity (?). On a side note, i do notice that those damn pills have really changed the way I think. I cant relax anymore, I remember not eating my lunch in the 5th grade and wandering around the class room and through the halls like I was searching for some sort of work. I also spend a lot of time thinking of my adderall on weekends and during the summer and how much i want it in my system. I'm only on the pills 5 days a week and I should be able to quit without facing withdrawal....BUT- Im really unsure if the better me is with my adderall or without it.