Dear Adderall,
You have changed my life. No, really... seriously you are like my best friend, and I'm sorry that I did not get a chance to "hang out" with you today, but I just did not have the motivation. I did not have the motivation to watch my afternoon bleed into the evening, then into the next sunrise like raw scrambled eggs. Sure, I hung out with about 30 of your friends, and yah they stayed around for a long time (30mgXR), but then all of a sudden everyone has to come along... then it stops being fun. Keeping up with you can be a chore, and that is why you live in the glove compartment, all nestled under my insurance papers, so that I am not reminded that you are there. Tomorrow I have to get up and do a lot of things, and I know you are going to call me and hang out. It's okay... I know we will, but why? Why do I have to quit you? Why do I have to leave something that has given me so much success over the past few years? Why do I have to leave something that has made me the person that I am today. Or have you made me the person that I am today--that is the question. I can make a list of a million reasons why I need you, but I cannot find anything truly wrong with you. Sure, you make time go by fast, and you surely don't help me much when it comes to getting my words out in one clean swoop. You even go really well with a cup of coffee, but why are you so good to me?
--Kingof^Flowers.
OK -- So the above is just a note of what I wrote to Adderall. It is my struggle, and what I think about it when I am not on it. I guess my problem is that I can never really wake up without it. Right now, it is 3am, and I didn't take it yet today.
I want to say that quittingadderall.com has been a blessing for me over the past few months. As I have seriously been thinking about quitting, it is still a very difficult, morose, unapproachable situation in my life. I got to school and work (believe it or not) in a substance abuse treatment facility. I always wonder if people that I work with know that I am "on it." Seriously it is something that I use as therapy as well... I never abuse it whatsoever. Just my regular 30 milligrams XR in the morning. I want to take more sometimes, so yeah, I guess I lied when I say I'll pop another at night...
My friend just recently found me this alternative to it, and I think I am going to use it to help me quit. It's a chocolate/mocha drink thingy that I really like. It is helping me lift the fog on the days where I just don't feel like taking that little orange pill.
I guess the point of this post was to show you all how much I really need adderall ... because my thoughts are literally all over the place without it. When I was born, I was given very high doses of caffeine because my lungs were collapsed. I was born very early (3 months early to be exact), and all throughout my childhood, I suffered from extreme attention deficit disorder. I was also given a drug called Theophylline, that they were fearful at the time had caused some researchers to believe that it would give children ADHD.
