Relapsed, again.

[Cat]

Good question. I think it is because i have never been able to deal with downtime. Downtime was always either spent with friends smoking, drinking, etc. Or spent with myself, eating, being lazy. I never, ever enjoyed downtime and adderall make it enjoyable. Made me want to do "fun shit" like clean lol. I guess it just helped pass the time really. Then i got hooked on productivity. And when i am not being productive, i just feel like i am wasting time. I don't know.

It's totally unjustified. There is nothing wrong with being lazy sometimes, i know this. And you make a good point. I will write down the reasons i believe free time is such a trigger.

Thanks for the insight xoxoxox

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I just feel at a loss for what to do with myself during all this empty TIME. On Adderall, time flew by and I would try to plan as much "free" alone time as possible so I could occupy myself with Adderall activity and no distractions.

Right after quitting I also spent too much of all that extra free time drinking and overthinking the quit. It feels like a good sign that now it's to the point where I'm ready to start filling my schedule again, you know? Like join an indoor soccer team or something.