help, no motivation... zombie.. having bad thoughts

[ionehitwonderi]

I went cold turkey off the adderall and I started taking all the recommended supplements, fish oil, b12, l-tyrosine, 5htp, vitamin C, etc... It's been about 3 weeks and I finally got over the hump of sleeping 24/7 in a mild coma... but I still lay in bed 24/7 and I have NO MOTIVATION to do ANYTHING. I dont even have the motivation to shower, brush my teef, etc.... this is getting so bad. I've missed all of my interview appointments (I've been unemployed for the past 3 months trying to get off the adderall). I feel like an ultimate failure, loser, can't do anything right, etc... OMG I Just dont know wat to do. I feeel hopeless and am having horrible horrible spiraling bad thoughts. I am thinking of geting back on the adderall, but tapering off this time... I feel like going cold turkey is hella dangerous for me... because I dont have much of a support system.

[quit-once]

I am thinking of geting back on the adderall, but tapering off this time... I feel like going cold turkey is hella dangerous for me... because I dont have much of a support system.

I recommend finding a support system before you go back to taking adderall. i am not aware of anybody who has gone back on adderall with the intention of tapering down.....and had it work for them. Please read some of Sebastian's recent posts...he tried going back and then tapering again.

At three weeks, you should be almost done with the awful physical withdrawl symptoms. Please don't create even more hell for yourself by going back to the adderall, only to have to do this again.

[Sebastian05]

i only went back for a week to 5mg a day. i've been totally off now for almost 6 weeks. Its not easy. I have a script for wellbutrin, but im scared to death to fill it. i was so much happier in my life when i was taking 10mg-20mg of adderall a day.

I'm trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Life has done a wonderful job at scaring the piss outta me. I was depressed before I started taking adderall, and the adderall not only helped me with finishing law school and the bar exam and helped me at work, but it just kept me going all day and i would feel positive and great.

I dunno why, but I'm just SO scared to take an anti-depressant out of fear that i'll have to jump from one to the other to find what will actually work if one will work at all.

I've always been a very stressed out and negative person deep down. For 4.5 years, the adderall calmed me down, gave me confidence, kept me way alert and gave me the boost i needed. It was great. And i would stay the hell ON IT if i could, and i can, but i choose not to for the only reason that I'm damn sure that this isnt something that you can stay on for extended periods of time.

UGH. If this drug is only legal in Canada and the United States it tells you something. It tells you that the rest of the world is way more cautious regarding what they are allowing people to consume as medicine.

The anxiety and depression that i've experienced as withdrawal from quitting adderall has been the worst i've ever felt in my entire life. The anxiety was so bad in the beginning that I'd fall asleep at like 11pm...wake up at 2am and not be able to fall back asleep again from the intense butterflies in my stomach.

I had to go on xanax for a bit to fight off the anxiety and that helped and i've been off the xanax now for quite a while. That is yet another drug i dont trust.

I'm trying to go herbal. I don't know if that is stupid or not. I've been researching lexapro, pristiq, and wellbutrin trying to figure out what may be the right anti-depressant for me (But I'm not so sure if I should even take one).

There was a time when pharmaceutical companies didn't rule the earth. There was a time when people had problems, but they would push through them and survive because there was no other choice.

I can't seem to figure out if the root of my depression is because I've been off of the adderall, or if its because I moved to a new area, bought a house, and now this place doesn't feel like "Home"....coupled with the fact that I have a VERY high stress job in a demanding environment.

I wish I wasn't as emotionally weak as I am, and I think that is part of the problem. Everyone always says I'm like a big teddy bear. I'm a 230 pound fairly built dude, but i cry at the drop of a hat. I think about how much I love my family, and I cry. I think of fond past memories when I felt free and happy and I cry.

i'm also starting to think that part of my depression is from this new job of mine that I don't really like very much. It pays well. But thats about it. Its so emotionally taxing for me. I'm already an eggshell when it comes to emotions and depression and it is just compounded by how much i hate my job.

What an emotional gauntlet i've been through in the last few months. My god.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I went cold turkey off the adderall and I started taking all the recommended supplements, fish oil, b12, l-tyrosine, 5htp, vitamin C, etc... It's been about 3 weeks and I finally got over the hump of sleeping 24/7 in a mild coma... but I still lay in bed 24/7 and I have NO MOTIVATION to do ANYTHING. I dont even have the motivation to shower, brush my teef, etc.... this is getting so bad. I've missed all of my interview appointments (I've been unemployed for the past 3 months trying to get off the adderall). I feel like an ultimate failure, loser, can't do anything right, etc... OMG I Just dont know wat to do. I feeel hopeless and am having horrible horrible spiraling bad thoughts. I am thinking of geting back on the adderall, but tapering off this time... I feel like going cold turkey is hella dangerous for me... because I dont have much of a support system.

I felt exactly like you in my first 3 weeks. I'm so sorry you feel this way but you have to trust yourself that it will get better! Give it a little bit more time, and if you can just do one or two things a day (pay a bill, go for a walk) it will make you feel 10x better.

Hang in there, congrats on 3 weeks! Keep posting here - this forum has been the best support group I ever needed.

[Cassie]

Tapering is not going to work if you've ever taken more than your prescribed dose. I had that line of thinking too. It is wishful thinking. It is an excuse to prolong the addiction. Many of us have relapsed thinking it will be different this time, but it never is. Three weeks is just the beginning of recovery. It took me a year to feel normal again. Recovery is easier if you realize how long it's going to take. You're not going to feel normal after only a few weeks or a few months. If you want to be free of addiction, you just have to stick it out until a lot of time passes. I hope you don't relapse but from your writing it sounds like you are going to.